


Pen Pals

by allthings_fantasy67



Series: Pen Pals [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU Bellamy, F/M, Language, Protective Bellamy, Reader Insert, Smut, The 100 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-10-26 11:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17744999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthings_fantasy67/pseuds/allthings_fantasy67
Summary: Guys are dicks and you’ve given up on trying to date. Then your friend Raven tries to get you to become pen pals with a soldier. You think the idea is useless, like they actually have time to write back. But then, you get a response. Will your new pen pal be nothing more than a few friendly letters? Or is he closer to home than you think?





	1. Unamed Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest series I have written and it is for none other than Bellamy Blake. I hope you enjoy it, Happy Reading!!

You glanced at the clock, 7:56AM, you had exactly four minutes until you had to unlock the doors and open up the shop for the day. You wiped down the pastry display case one more time, and turned on all the coffee and espresso machines. A row of black aprons hung in the back room, you grabbed the one with your name on it and tied the strings behind your back. Heading back towards the front of the shop, you unlocked the door and flipped on the ‘open’ sign that hung in the window.

It only took five minutes for your first customer to arrive. Raven, she was your best friend, and most loyal customer. Every morning she would come in, laptop under her arm and sit at the bar. She was a journalist so she spent 90% of her day drinking coffee and writing. "Good morning, Raven.” You smiled over at her. “The usual?” 

She rolled her eyes and plugged in her laptop under the counter. “Seriously do you even have to ask anymore? Just make sure that espresso is strong. I have a lot to do!” Raven sat down with a huff and pried her laptop open. You went over and made her her extra large, extra strong coffee, sitting it down beside her. 

The two of you rambled through small talk until the 9AM morning rush hit. The amount of coffees and muffins you handed out was mind boggling. Thankfully it started to die down around 9:45. You glanced over at Raven, seeing her writing down something on a piece of paper. That was weird, she only ever used her laptop. “What ya writin there?” You raised an eyebrow at her. 

A small blush came to her cheeks. “Okay, so hear me out.” She paused waiting for you to respond, but you only nodded. “So, I stumbled across this website, and basically you sign up to be a pen pal with a random soldier. This guy and I have been writing back and forth for a few months now. You should try it! Y/N I think you’d really like it!” 

Before you could respond, the bell hanging above the door jingled. You glanced up to see Octavia walking through the door. “Hey Y/N, Raven.” She smiled brightly between the two of you. 

“What can I get you?” 

Her forehead creased in concentration as she looked up at the menu, as if she was going to order anything different then any other day. Octavia worked in the office building across the street from the shop. She came in regularly and the three of you have become well acquainted. ‘I’ll take a large french vanilla, four sugars please annnnd… two strawberry cake pops.” 

“Sure thing.” You turned your back towards the two girls. But you could still hear them speak. 

“What’s that Raven?” 

You smirked and turned around, bagging up the two cake pops. “She’s pen pals with a soldier.” 

O’s eyes widened and smirked at her. “Oh really?” 

Raven laughed and nodded, sitting her pen down. “I tried to talk Y/N into doing it. Lord knows she won’t talk to any other guy in this town.” 

You rolled your eyes, finishing up Octavia’s coffee. “Ooo, Y/N. Why don’t you? Everyone loves a man in uniform.” She winked at you, taking the coffee from your hand. 

“I never said I wasn’t going to do it, I just don’t think I’d get a response.” You shrugged and typed in the totals on the cash register. “$6.47 please.” 

Octavia sighed and handed you $7. “I still think you should do it, who knows, you might find yourself a lucky man. Keep the change, I gotta be at a meeting in 10 minutes.” She said her goodbyes and quickly made her way out the door. 

Raven left around 7:00, giving you one last push to try the website. She wrote the link down on her receipt before she left, leaving it for you to find. You rolled your eyes and stuffed it into your back pocket. 

You spent the next couple hours washing dishes, cleaning counters, counting today’s profit. As much as you did for this place you were practically the owner, but Mr. Kane just couldn’t seem ti give it up though. Not that you minded though, he was a nice man to work for. But you did a lot for that place. When the clock struck 9:30 you were finally able to close down for the night. The walk to your apartment seemed longer than usual. Your achy feet and back demanded that you lay down as soon as you step foot inside you home. But you knew you couldn’t go to bed without a shower, the smell of frosting and coffee lingered on your clothes. 

You laid in bed, covers bunched at your hips, TV playing in the background. There was nothing good on so you decided to grab your laptop, suddenly remembering the piece of paper stuffed in your pocket. You got up and dug your pants out of the hamper, fishing in the pockets for the receipt. 

You unraveled it as you made your way back to bed, pulling the computer onto your lap. Before you could second guess it, your fingers were typing in the website. The button in the top right hand corner flashed ‘become a pen pal today!’ You chewed on your bottom lip and clicked on the button. It asked basic information, your name, age, what branch you wanted to talk to. But the next question stopped you for a moment. You had the choice between someone from somewhere completely random, or you could pick someone from the same state as you. You decided to do the same state as you, thinking it would be nice to have at least one thing in common with the person. 

Your eyes scanned the web page. It gave you instructions on how to address your envelope and how your person is randomly selected. Now all that was left was to write. You pulled the notebook from a drawer in your nightstand and looked at the blank paper, trying to think of what to say. 

_Dear Unnamed Soldier,_

_I can’t believe I let my friend talk me into this, but here goes nothing. Hi, my name is Y/N and I’m 24. I live in Sarasota, Florida and I work in a bakery while I finish my last year of college. Am I supposed to ask you how your day is going? I mean, you’ll get this days after I send it. But I truly am curious as to what you typical day is like, how life is where you are. What made you want to join? What do you miss the most? Favorite food? I’m kind at loss as to what to say. This letter will probably get jumbled around in the mess of things, but if by chance you do get this, and you do actually read it to this point, it’d be nice to hear back from you._

_Sincerely, Y/N_

You read over the letter a couple times, debating just crumpling it up and throwing it away. But what’s the worst that could happen? They don’t answer? It’s not like you know them or they know you. You found an envelope in your desk drawer, folding the piece of paper and slipping it in. You’d take it to the post office tomorrow. 

Bellamy’s POV 

He sat down on his cot, wiping the sweat from his brow. His hair flattened against his head from the hat he was wearing. Sweat soaked through the thin fabric covering his body. “Private Blake.” 

The sound his name made him stand in seconds, back straight, arm in solute. His Commander walked up to him, a stack of letters in his hand. “At ease, soldier.” Bellamy’s body relaxed as Commander Jaha sorted through the envelopes. “Got something for you.” 

His eyebrows furrowed as he took the letter from him. “Thank you, sir.” Bellamy never got letters, sometimes there would be one from his sister, but it was rare. After his commander left, Bellamy sat down on the cot and flipped over the envelope, reading the return address. 

“Ooo, someone got a love letter?” He looked over and saw his friend John sitting on his own cot. 

Bellamy laughed and shook his head. “Uh no, actually. I think it’s one of those pen pal things that people can sign up for.” His fingers pulled open the letter and unfolded it. 

“Oh, yeah I’ve done that before. It can be fun if you get the right person.” John shrugged and laid down. 

Bellamy’s eyes traveled along the page, taking in the words. He didn’t know why but he found himself smirking. He took mental note that she lived in the same place as him and his sister did. Bellamy’s gotten these letters once or twice, but the person writing them always wanted to talk about themselves. It was kind of nice that someone was actually interested in his day. “So you think you’re going to respond to that one?” 

He shrugged and read over the letter another time before tucking it under his pillow. Y/N, some girl out there took the time to write a letter. Granted, she didn’t know it was coming to him specifically, but he was kind of happy it did. 

Reader’s POV 

It was exactly a week since you have mailed the letter, you didn’t know why you were so eager to get a response. The website said it could take up to two weeks. You didn’t bother telling Raven that you sent one, not until you got a response at least. 

Today went by just like any other day. Raven came in bright and early, Octavia came in in a rush because she was late, again. But before you were about to close, Kane decided to stop by. “Y/N! How are doing this fine evening?” He smiled over at you and walked behind the counter, making his way towards the office. 

“Good, we doubled sales today, yanno.” You shouted back to him as you finished cleaning. 

“Ah yes, well. Couldn’t do it without you!” He placed a hand on your arm and squeezed. “Why don’t you head home for the night? I’ll finish up in here.” 

You pressed your lips in a thin line. “Are you sure? I don’t mind.” 

He waved his hand. “Oh please, you do enough for this place.” 

That was all the convincing you needed. You told him goodnight and headed back to your apartment. A part of you told you to walk right past the mailboxes and check them tomorrow, but the other part of you won. You grumbled and pulled the keys from your purse, opening the tiny mailbox. You grabbed the stack of envelopes and flipped through them. Bills, bills, coupon, bills, letter? Your heart skipped a beat when you looked at the envelope, the return address was from a military base in California. You had to use all your self control not to rip it open right there in the middle of the hallway. 

Your foot tapped against the floor of the elevator, wanting it to move faster. When you got to the fifth level, you practically speed walked down the hall, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. When you got your door open, you quickly shut it behind you and flopped down on your couch. You put everything else down and opened the envelope, trying to tell yourself there’s no reason to get this excited. It’s just a letter. 

_Dear Y/N,_

_I’m happy your friend convinced you into writing a letter. I don’t get much mail so getting a letter was a nice surprise. I see that you live in Sarasota, that’s actually where I am from. Funny. You work in a bakery? I can’t even remember the last time I had a donut. What are you going to school for? But a typical day here? It consists of waking up at the crack ass of dawn, going on a run, eating, more exercise. It’s not all that interesting. Tiring, but not interesting. Why did I join? Other people in my family have joined and it just felt right. Plus, all I have is my sister and she’s out being successful, this is my way of being successful. What do I miss the most? Definitely my own bed, being able to make my own food, my sister. My favorite food? Without a doubt, steak. No questions about it. Now that you know some things about me, what about you? Who is Y/N? What’s her favorite food? I hope to hear back from you soon, Y/N._

_Sincerely, Unnamed Soldier (aka Bellamy)_

_PS: I’m 29_

Your thumb rubbed over the name on the paper, Bellamy. You’ve never heard a name like that before. He seemed nice, definitely willing to talk. Maybe this is something you could see yourself doing more often. Your brain started to drift about thinking what he might looked like and the fact that his sister lives in the same place as you. Maybe you’ve seen her a time or two before and not even realized it. Octavia’s words from the other day rang back in your head. Anyone looks good in uniform. 

Without another thought, you grabbed your notebook again. You weren’t exactly sure how to describe yourself. Who were you? You weren’t even completely sure. But once you started writing you found it easier and easier to talk to him. It was basically just a one sided conversation. You placed the letter in an envelope and placed it on the nightstand. The only thing you could think about before you fall asleep, was the wait for your next letter.


	2. Traveling Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting letters from Bellamy quickly turns into the highlight of your week. Raven says you need to ask for a picture of him. A new guy comes into the shop. Bellamy’s letters start arriving later and later, was he bored? Or was something else wrong?

Today was Friday, that meant there should be an envelope sitting in your mailbox with Bellamy’s name on it. It has been seven weeks since you sent your first letter to your new pen pal. It was becoming something that you looked forward to. You weren’t the best around men, but this was different. You didn’t have to worry about being awkward in front of them, the forced eye contact, all you had to do was write. But you couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like, the face behind the letters.

“So there’s something I need to tell you.” You leaned against the counter of the shop. Raven’s one eyebrow raised, but she stayed focused on the laptop in front of her. 

“What’s up?” 

“I did the soldier pen pal.” You showed her an anxious smile. 

Raven stopped her work and glanced over at you. “You’re shitting me, right?” A smile started to creep on her lips when she realized you were serious. “No? Y/N that’s awesome! Did you get someone good?” She winked at you before taking another drink of her coffee. 

“I did actually, we’ve been talking for a few weeks now. It’s kinda funny, we are polar opposites about a lot of things, but our conversations just seem to flow.” You shrugged it off like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but you really did enjoy it. 

“So was I right or was I right? Have you seen what he looks like yet?” You laughed at her questions, shaking your head. 

“No, I haven’t asked to see him, is it weird to ask him for a picture or something?” The idea crossed your mind before, but you didn’t know if you would actually do it. 

“Why would it be weird to see who you’re talking to? Send him one of you and ask for one back.” She pulled her laptop back in front of her. 

You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment, the bell ringing at the door snapped you out of your thoughts. Glancing up, you saw a man walk into the shop. “Hey, what can I get you?” 

He had longer brown hair, broad shoulders, and a smirk on his face. “Uh, I’ll take a plain black coffee, large please.” 

“$2.23 please.” You took his money, fingers slightly brushing across his when you handed him his change. He was warm, and his finger lingered a little longer than needed. You turned your back to him quickly and grabbed a large coffee cup. “Here you go.” He took the cup from you and gave you another smile. “Have a good day.” 

“My name is Finn by the way.” His voice had a natural rasp to it. 

You gave him a small smile back and pointed at your name tag. “Y/N.” 

His eyes flashed down at the piece of plastic on your apron then back up to your eyes. “I’ll see you around, okay?” Finn didn’t wait for you response before turning around and heading out. 

Your eyes lingered on the door for a little bit, Raven snapped you out of your thoughts. “What was up with Casanova?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. 

“No idea.” 

You pulled out the growing stack of envelopes from you nightstand drawer. Your eyes scanned over the return labels, smiling slightly at all the different places he was at. The first letter he sent you was from California, then Taxes, over to Germany, and the most recent was from Italy. You read over his last letter, before pulling out your note book again. Raven’s words came back to you, maybe you should ask if he had a picture. What were you going to send him? 

_Dear Bellamy,_

_I’m getting kind of jealous of all the places you are getting to visit. I’ve always wanted to see Italy. What was it like there? You’ve tried the bread, right? I’ve never even been outside of Florida. Maybe I’ll get there some day. Also, your disdain for Game of Thrones has not been forgotten. I don’t think I can talk to someone who openly refuses to watch the series. Despite your lack of taste in TV shows, getting your letters has become something I look forward to, I didn’t think I was going to like this pen pal thing as much as I do. The same friend who convinced me to do this, suggested that I ask for a picture of you, and in return I give you one. It would be nice to see the face behind the letters right? I hope everything is going okay for you over there, I hope to hear from you soon._

_Sincerely, Y/N_

_PS: You’ve probably already seen, put there is a picture in there along with the letter._

Bellamy’s POV 

He was coming back from breakfast when he saw an envelope resting on his pillow. His heart skipped a beat when he realized who it was from. Bellamy kept every letter she ever sent him, they were stored safely in his bag under his bed. He didn’t hesitate to open the envelope and pull the letter out. 

A smile came to his face when he read over the words. He wished he could meet her, spend time with her, talk to her. His heart beat skipped when he read the last few lines. A picture? Of her? Bellamy was dying to see her, but he didn’t know why he was so nervous to look at it. Grabbing the envelope again, he saw the small picture tucked inside. Bellamy pulled it out, white side facing him. He rolled his eyes at himself for being so nervous. It was just a damn picture. He wasn’t sure why, but he found himself holding his breath as he flipped it over. Bellamy’s heart thudded and a small pink rose to his cheeks. She was gorgeous. 

Her y/h/c hair flowed in waves down her shoulders, y/e/c eyes stared at him through the picture, pink lips formed into a smile. She looked young, carefree. “Is that her?” John’s voice pulled Bellamy from his thoughts and he yanked the picture from his hands. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the girl in the photograph. “Good job, man.” 

Bellamy scoffed and took the picture back from him. “She wants one back.” His thumb ran over the photograph. 

John smirked and sat down beside him. “What? Scared she’s gonna think your ugly?” 

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t even have one, a picture.” 

“Yeah you do, there’s that picture of us in California.” John shrugged. “Just send her that one, hopefully she doesn’t fall in love with me instead.” 

Bellamy leaned over and pulled his bag out from under his bed. He rummaged through the stack of letters and other random papers until he found it. It was a picture of him and John standing beside each other, it was taken after they found out they were going to be bunk mates. Bellamy looked a little different than what he did in the picture, but it was going to have to do. 

_Dear Y/N,_

_Italy is very pretty, but we are not in the touristy part. I have had the bread, it’s amazing. But I think you would be more interested in the pasta here, that’s still your favorite food right? I didn’t even know there was so many different types. You need to get out of Florida and travel. Maybe if our paths were to ever cross, I could show you some cool places. And I am sorry, but I don’t think any amount of convincing would get me to watch that show. But then again, I think you could persuade me to just about do anything. I think I’m starting to like that friend of yours, first she tells you to write, then send me a picture. Thank you for that. It’s really nice to see who was writing me. You’re beautiful. I hope your classes are going well, that the shop isn’t working you too hard._

__Take Care, Bellamy_ _

_PS: This is the only picture I have, I’m on the left._

Readers POV 

After that first encounter, Finn had started coming in more regularly. He ordered the same thing every time. Raven was convinced he was some kind of creep, he kept the conversation between the two of you short and brief. At least he was kind of cute. Octavia didn’t care too much for him either, they only seen each other two or three times. She said he looked at you weird. 

Thankfully, you had this Friday off. You weren’t sure how that place ran when you weren’t there, all the other employees kind of sucked. You were anxious to receive the next letter from Bellamy. What if he didn’t feel like talking after he saw you? What if you weren’t what he was expecting? 

The only thing you could do was wait, the mail came every day at 2:30. It was only 10. You decided that you should probably get your errands down now, there was no point in sitting here waiting all day. You tugged on a quick pair of yoga pants and a simple t-shirt. Grabbing your keys off the counter, you headed to the parking garage. The shop was close enough to walk to, but the grocery store was further and you didn’t feel like carrying handfuls of bags. 

With all the traffic, it took you 30 minutes to get to the nearest Winn-Dixie. The cool air of the store made goosebumps peak on your skin. You grabbed a cart and pulled the list from your purse. First stop, bread isle. Just as you were about to round the corner into the isle, you cart rammed into another. “Shit! I’m sorry, I wa-” You stopped talking when you recognized the face in front of you. “Finn.” 

He chuckled softly and nodded. “Y/N, nice to see you somewhere other than work.” 

You offered him a small smile. “It’s nice to be somewhere other than work.” 

The two of you ended up walking around the store together, picking up whatever you needed as you passed the isles. It was nice talking to him, he listened, focusing on whatever you said. Maybe he wasn’t such a creep after all. Eventually the two of you ended up at the check out lines. Finn let you go in front of him. 

After you were finished, you waited for him. He walked you out to your car and helped you load your bags into the trunk. “Thank you.” You smiled at him again, shutting the trunk. 

“It’s not a problem.” He shifted from one foot to the other, he looked a little nervous about something. “Hey uh, I.. I would like to take you out sometime, maybe, if that’s okay with you?” A blush came to your cheeks, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been asked out. 

“Oh, sure, um, here I’ll give you my number, okay?” You stammered and pulled a random piece of paper, scribbling down your phone number. He gently took the piece of paper, running his thumb over it before stuffing it into his pocket. “I’ll see you around.” You smiled at him again and unlocked your car. 

Finn nodded and headed across the parking lot to his own vehicle. You couldn’t deny the small butterflies forming in your stomach. After pulling out, you headed towards the closest Target and then finally heading home. 

Once you pulled into the parking garage you checked the time, it was exactly 2:30. Your heart fluttered slightly. The mail should be here any minute now. You loaded your arms up with bags, deciding that the ache from the heavy bags was better than making two trips. Once you reached your apartment, you set the bags down on the counter. Focusing on putting away the cold stuff first, you hurried through the rest. After everything was put away, you grabbed your mailbox key and headed down to the lobby. 

You opened the tiny door and found only one thing sitting inside, your letter from him. You bit your bottom lip and headed back up to your room. Sitting down on your couch, you gently opened the letter. You pulled the letter out, but something else fell out too, a picture. All self control you had left you, your eyes scanned over the image. There were two men in the picture. The one on the right had short light brown hair, fair skin, and a lopsided smile. But the one on the left, that was Bellamy. You didn’t know how you knew, but you knew. 

He had dark hair, dark eyes, tanned skin. His smile in the picture was enough to make you smile. There was no denying his physical attractiveness. You could see the muscles of his arms peaking out from the shirt. He was good looking. Your heart clenched at the sight of him, you almost forgot about the letter. 

You grabbed the letter and unfolded it, reading his words. It was nice seeing what he said about Italy. The tone of the letter was different this time, his words were more flirty this time. You’d love to go somewhere with him, and you could definitely get him to watch GOT, without a doubt. Then he called you beautiful. You didn’t know why, but those two words were enough to make the air in your lungs stop. The butterflies were back, but stronger. 

After grabbing the pieces of paper, you headed back to your room. You rested the photograph of the two guys on your dresser before putting the letter with all the other ones. Before you were able to grab you notebook, your phone rang. Your eyebrows furrowed and saw the unknown number on the screen. “Hello?” 

“Hey.” Finn’s voice rang through the other line. “Does calling this soon make me seem desperate?” You could hear the chuckle in his voice. 

Your eyes rolled, and a smile appeared on your mouth. “ No, I don’t think so. What’s up?” 

“I said I wanted to take you out, so I figured if I asked far enough in advance you’d be able to get off work.” 

You walked around your bedroom aimlessly listening to him speak, your head nodded before you speak. “Smart move, so when exactly were you thinking?” 

“Hmm..” Finn contemplated on the other end. “Next Saturday?” 

“Sounds good to me.” You were smiling again. 

“I’ll see you then, Y/N.” It was his turn to smile. 

“See you.” 

The next week went by in a blur. Between classes and working, you just wanted to curl up in your bed. You couldn’t help the nagging disappointment in your chest. This Friday there was no letter from Bellamy. It was only Saturday, there was plenty of time for his letter to come. 

You had your date with Finn tonight. A part of you was excited to see him, but another part felt wrong, almost like you were disrespecting Bellamy. Finn didn’t tell you much about where you were going, only that he would be at your house by 8 and to dress cute. 

A sigh left your lips as you paced in front of your own closet. You wished you knew where he was taking you, then you would know what to wear. Eventually you settled on a simple maroon sundress. You slipped on some tan sandals and went into the bathroom to fix your hair. 

Checking the clock, it said 7:55. You grabbed your purse and headed down towards the lobby. You were only standing there for two minutes before Finn arrived. “You look gorgeous.” He smiled at you, taking a second to look up and down. Finn looked good too, he had on a black button up and jeans. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” A blush came upon your cheeks. He grabbed your hand and pulled you out towards his car. 

“You ready?" 

You had fun, a lot of fun. Finn took you rollerblading, out to eat, and then a small walk in the local park. You were exhausted by the time the two of you made it back to your apartment complex. “Did you have fun?” He smiled at you, turning a little bit to face you. 

“Yeah, I really did. Thank you.” Your eyes felt heavy, all you wanted to do was lay down. But then you thought about checking your mailbox, a small burst of energy hit you. 

“I would really like to do this again, you know, if you want to.” He looked up at you sheepishly, but that didn’t stop the smirk one his face. 

You nodded at him. “Yeah, sure.” Finn gripped your wrist and tugged you a little closer. Your heart started pounding in your chest, the thought of him kissing you made you anxious. Sure you had fun, but not that much fun. He leaned in slightly, and instinctively you leaned back. “Uh, sorry I just..” 

Finn’s back straightened and he cleared his throat, releasing your wrist. “ No uh, sorry, my bad.” He forced a smile and took a few steps back. “I’ll see you around Y/N. Goodnight.” 

"Night.” You watched him step into this car before you walked inside. You dug through your bag until you found the mailbox key. A wave of disappointment hit you when you saw that it was empty. A horrible thought crossed your mind, thinking maybe something happened to him, but you quickly dismissed it. 

You had to remember that you weren’t his number one priority, he had a busy life. You made your way back up to your apartment and straight into your bedroom. The picture still rested on your dresser, your eyes automatically drawn to it. Bellamy was smiling at you through the picture and your heart clenched, maybe going out with Finn was a bad idea. 

Another six weeks had past, still nothing from Bellamy. You debated sending another letter, maybe he never got yours. But you weren’t even sure where he was anymore. Last you were aware, he was in Italy. Raven occasionally asked you about him, but you just said that you haven’t heard from him. Finn took you out once more and talked to you a good bit, trying to see when date 3.0 would be, but you never gave him a straight answer. He was nice and everything, but you couldn’t see him more than just a friend. You were just trying to figure out how long it would take for him to get the hint. 

You checked every day for a letter, but you never got one. The picture that used to rest on your dresser was now buried in the drawer, along with the letters. You tried pushing Bellamy out of your head but it was hard. Something inside of you knew you wouldn’t be hearing from him, but there was a sliver of hope that just wouldn’t let go.


	3. The Last One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally learns to push Bellamy in the back of her head. Is she finally over him? Or will another letter end up in her mailbox?

By the ninth week, Bellamy barely crossed your mind anymore. You didn’t open that drawer, didn’t look at the letters, didn’t glance at the picture. Deep down you were worried about him, scared that something bad may have happened to him. But you tried to push those thoughts away, he moved again, lost your address. Yeah, that was it.

“Hey, Octavia.” You smiled at her when she came through the door. Her eyes beamed at you. “What’s gotten you looking so happy?” 

“I was able was able to talk to my brother today.” She laughed a little and shook her head. “He’s in the army, yanno? Don’t really get to talk to him that much. It’s been so long since I’ve heard his voice.” 

You smiled at her while your heart clenched. You were automatically reminded of Bellamy. A thought crossed your mind of sending him another letter, but what where the chances that he was still in Italy? “That’s great, O. I’m really happy for you. Is there anything I can get you?” 

“Uhh yeah, actually can I have a large mocha frappe?” 

“Coming right up.” The bell above the door jingled, you glanced back and saw Raven walking in. “You’re late! Octavia beat you here.” 

She rolled her eyes and sat down in her assigned seat. “Shut it, I wanted a little extra sleep today okay?” Raven pulled her laptop from her bag and put it on the counter. 

You handed Octavia her drink and took her money. She thanked you and left, smiling at you and Raven. “Okay, what’s wrong?” 

Your head tilted slightly to the side, looking at her confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Y/N, you’re my best and longest friend. I know when something is wrong.” Her gaze was challenging, but you knew you were going to cave. She just had that effect on you. 

“I’m just… I don’t know I can’t help be worried about the guy I was pen pals with. It’s been forever since I’ve heard from him, I just have this feeling that something bad happened to him.” You shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing. But Raven knew better. 

She sighed and offered you kind eyes. “I’m sure he’s fine, Y/N. You don’t know where he is, but that doesn’t mean he’s not okay. Stuff gets jumbled around and shit gets lost. And if he doesn’t answer you simply for the fact that he just doesn’t want to, then that’s his own problem. Okay? There’s no reason to be this hung up on it.” Her hand reached over and squeezed yours before focusing back on the work in front of her. You knew Raven was right, you getting this worked up over a stupid letter was ridiculous. But then again, Raven didn’t know Bellamy. Maybe you read too much his words. Maybe he did get bored. 

Bellamy’s POV 

He wanted to get the hell out of here. Bad. It was supposed to be a simple mission. Gain information and get out. There was a bomb planted in the building him and his crew were meant to search. It all happened so quickly. Bellamy watched a piece of debris fly into the chest of one of his friends. Everyone was tossed around from the power of the explosion. There was blood everywhere, bodies everywhere. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie. 

When Bellamy woke up, here was dust everywhere. He couldn’t see anyone moving, the dust burned his eyes. When he tried to stand, pain shot through Bellamy’s left arm. His eyebrows furrowed when he looked down at his arm. He couldn’t move it. His jaw clenched as he tried all he could to get his damn arm to move, but nothing. 

That was nine weeks ago in Afghanistan. Bellamy had a sling around his shoulder keeping his left arm cradled to his chest. He was in a rehabilitation center. His day consisted of physical therapy, trying to full movement back in his shoulder. When Bellamy was flung against the wall in that explosion, he fractured his scapula and tore a ligament. The doctors were able to fix him, but it would take a while toll he was able to fully use his arm again. 

He couldn’t help but think about Y/N. She probably thought he didn’t want to talk to her anymore. It was the complete opposite. Bellamy desperately wanted to tell her what happened, explain why he hasn’t written anything back, tell him the news he got. 

Bellamy was back in California. His stuff was being shipped back to him, including all of Y/N’s letters and her picture. His heart ached to see that picture again. Just to see her face would make things a little better. He knew as soon as he got the chance he was going to meet that damn woman. “Private Blake.” He was pulled from his own thoughts when Commander Jaha came in his room. “How’s the arm doing?” For such a stern man, he did care about his men. 

“It’s alright sir, doesn’t hurt anymore. Just sore. How’s John?” John was in that building too. The only information Bellamy had was that he was alive. 

Jaha laughed lightly. “You know Murphy. He has a cast on his leg, demanding he be let out of his place.” Bellamy let out a small laugh, glad to know his best friend was fine. “Your stuff has arrived.” That sentence had his heart racing.“ “I’ll get someone to bring it into, okay?” He only managed to nod before Jaha left. 

Bellamy felt like it took forever for the guy to bring the box of his stuff in. He yanked the flaps open, rummaging through his stuff with one arm. His bag was at the bottom. Bellamy pulled it out, struggling a little with the zipper. When he finally got open the saw what he had been dying to see. Y/N’s picture was sitting at the bottom of the bag, the pile of letters resting under it. A small smirk creeped up on his lips. He picked the picture up, running his calloused thumb over the pretty girl’s face. Bellamy knew what he had to do. He had to write Y/N one last letter. 

Reader’s POV 

You double checked that all the lights were off in your apartment before heading out and locking the door. Raven had gotten tired of you seeing you upset and stressed about Bellamy, she suggested a girls day. You haven’t asked off work in what felt like forever, but this Friday you promised Raven. She said she was going to pick you up at 12. It was 11:55 when you headed down to the lobby. 

A small part of you demanded that you open your mailbox, as if a letter would magically appear in front of you. The sound of Raven’s car pulling up pulled you from your thoughts. You stepped outside and climbed into the passenger seat of her car. “Hey.” You offered your best friend a sweet smile. 

“Hey, you ready?“ She didn’t wait for you to answer before pulling out onto your street. Raven had some stuff planned for today but kept it a secret, wanting to surprise you. The two of you had the windows down, blaring music through her radio, singing at the top of your lungs. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this carefree. Raven knew how to have a good time, knew how to make you have a good time. 

By the time Raven dropped you off, you were exhausted. She took you shopping, out to eat, and somehow you ended up at a bar. The two of you drank a few cocktails, attempted to play some pool before you left. "I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Raven smiled at you and unlocked the car door. 

“Of course. Night, Raven.” You walked back into your apartment building, having intentions of going straight up to your room. But those damn mailboxes. Raven managed to keep your mind off Bellamy all night, but there was still this desire to just take one little look. Maybe this time would be the time. Against your better judgment, you dug through your purse finding the key. You cursed yourself as you turned the key and opened the little door. There was a stack of mail sitting inside. It’s been two days since you didn’t check the mail as often as you used to. Your fingers wrapped around the stack of envelopes and headed up to you room. 

A deep sigh left your lungs as you sat the mail down on the table, flipping through it. With every letter that wasn’t him, you heart sank a little more. 

_Wait._

You paused for a few seconds. The blood in your veins turned ice cold and you swore you turned as pale as a ghost. It was impossible. You were imagining shit. Swallowing hard, you flipped the letter down again and you felt your stop beating. You blinked a few more times and debated pinching yourself to see if it was real, you didn’t have that much to drink. 

But there it was. Staring up at you. Your fingers immobile, numb. Bellamy’s name on the return address burned into your eyes. Why now? Why after all this time had he decided to write you back? Somehow your trembling fingers managed to open the envelope and unfold the letter. Your eyes scanned it, it was one of the longest ones he’s ever sent you. You had to take a seat. 

_Dear Y/N,_

_I firstly want to apologize for taking this long to write you back. I promise you it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. The last I heard from you, we were getting ready to move out. Our unit was heading to Afghanistan. We weren’t meant to be in an active war zone. All we were trying to do was clear a building. But there was a bomb planted, someone tripped it. It was bad, Y/N. So bad. I’ve never seen anything like that. The force was so strong we were all knocked around like rag dolls. There was so much blood. I know you probably don’t want to hear all the details, but I have no one else to talk about it to._

You had to stop reading. You couldn’t even imagine what he went through, this was probably the sugar coated version. The thought of him getting hurt made your stomach turn. You took a deep breath, blinking away a stray tear and continued the letter. 

_Anyways, the blast messed up my shoulder pretty bad. My scapula is fractured and I guess I tore some ligaments. But other than that just some cuts and bruises. So I’m thankful for that. I’ve been in a rehabilitation center for a while now, endlessly in and out of physical therapy. As soon as I got back to base in California, I planned on writing you. But I had to wait for my stuff to get shipped back, kinda wish memorized your damn address. There’s so much I need to tell you._

_But there’s one thing, that you need to know._

You weren’t prepared for the next two lines that you read. It couldn’t be true. The two of you barely knew each other. But you couldn’t deny the butterflies that started to form in your stomach, the blush that came to your cheeks. 

_I’m coming home, Y/N. I want you to be there when I get off the plane._

Below, Bellamy wrote the address of the airport he was going to be landing at, along with a time and a date. Next Friday. You had to reread the words, countless of times, not believing any of it. Your heart was pounding in you chest. Were you really about to meet Bellamy? Thee Bellamy? 

That night you were unable to sleep. No matter what you tried, you were tossing and turning, thoughts running wild. You tried picturing what it would be like to meet him. But none of it would compare to the real thing. 

“So are you going to meet him tomorrow?” Raven’s eyebrow raised at you, glancing at you over the laptop screen. 

You sighed and ran your hand over your face. “Should I? Raven we barely know each other, it’s been weeks since we talked. What if its awkward?” Your nose wrinkled at the thought of you awkwardly standing in front of him. 

“Who cares? The two of you have some kind of connection. If you don’t go then you’ll never know. If it’s awkward then you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” She shrugged like its no big deal. 

You knew she was right, there was no way you couldn’t meet him. You had two days before Bellamy came home. It was all you could think about. It’s all that consumed your mind. 

Bellamy’s POV 

It was early Friday morning, 3am to be exact. He was on his way to the airport. Bellamy’s flight was at 5. He was excited to see his sister… and Y/N. Bellamy didn’t know if she was going to show up or not, but he really hoping she would. The next few hours went by in a blur. Before he knew it he was sitting on the plane, getting ready to take off. He quickly sent Octavia a text letting him know he was about to take off. Bellamy wished he knew Y/N’s number, he was dying to know what her voice sounded like. 

He pulled the picture from his back pocket, the one Y/N sent him. Her smiling face stared back at him. Bellamy couldn’t deny the little flutter his heart did. He wasn’t sure why he felt so strongly for his girl, why he was so desperate to meet her. “Good morning passengers. Welcome to flight 5629 to Sarasota. we should be arriving around noon. So settle in and enjoy the ride.” The seat belt light dinged and the plane began to move. Bellamy rested his head back against the seat, letting his eyes close. He was going to home. 

Reader’s POV 

You woke up early Friday morning, nerves getting the best of you. Your stomach was doing summer salts. The thought of seeing Bellamy today had your entire body trembling. You walked into your bathroom, turning on the shower. The t-shirt that covered your body was now on the floor. Stepping inside, you allowed the hot water to run over you. 

The heat relaxed your muscles, making you feel a lot calmer. When you stepped out, you saw it was 8, you had four hours before Bellamy landed. You took your time getting ready. Contemplating what to wear. You lost count of how many outfits you tried on. In the end you decided to keep it simple, it was only a damn airport. You tugged on a pair of jean shorts, a black shirt, and your favorite vans. You walked back into the bathroom, plugging in your curling iron. Fishing for your phone in your bed, you hooked it up to the speaker sitting on the bathroom shelf. Music flooded your bathroom. You sand along as you began wrapping your hair around the barrel of the iron. It took you a little longer than usual to do your hair, making sure every piece was perfect. Last was your makeup, you kept it simple. 

By the time you were satisfied with your looks it was 11. You’ve never taken that long to get ready, but this was important. First impressions were major. You grabbed your keys from the counter and headed towards the parking garage. The airport was about 30 minutes away, leaving you with about a half hour before Bellamy landed. You pulled out on the main road, pulling up how to get to the pick up area of the airport. The ride was pretty much a blur, you pulled into the crowded parking lot. You made it through security and finally ending up at the terminal where Bellamy was supposed to be. 

There were other people here waiting, little kids with flowers and stuffed animals. You guessed you weren’t the only person meeting someone special here. At first you sat down in one of the seats. You eyes were glued to the terminal door, waiting for some kind of announcement saying the plane was here. Eventually your nerves got the best of you and you began pacing. You glanced at your phone. 10 minutes. 

A voice from behind you pulled you from your thoughts. “Y/N?” Your head snapped around and looked for the source of the voice. 

“Octavia?” Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked over at her. “What are you doing here?” You stopped pacing at this point. 

“I should be asking you the same thing.” She laughed and closer to you. “I’m here to see my brother, he’s coming home today.” 

“Aw, that’s so nice. I bet you’re happy to see him. She smiled and nodded her head. “I uh… I’m actually here to meet my pen pal. He finally sent a letter, said he was coming home so…” You shrugged and looked down, trying to hide the blush coming on your cheeks. “I decided to take him up on the offer.” 

Octavia raised an eyebrow at you and smiled a little brighter. “Y/N that’s great! It’s going to be so cute. You know, you never told me his name?” “Oh you’re right, it’s..” 

“O!” A deep voice called out from behind you. Octavia wasn’t even aware you were here anymore. Her eyes shifted behind you and she left out a squeal. The man engulfed her, keeping his back towards you. You looked back at the door, no one coming through the doors look like Bellamy. Your heart sank a little bit, maybe you were at the wrong place? “Y/N?” 

Your head whipped around. No, it couldn’t have been. Octavia’s brother was your pen pal? Your jaw went slack as you looked up at the man you were previously so desperate to meet. 

“Bellamy…”


	4. Face to Face

“Bellamy…” The two of you stared up at each other in shock. All this time Octavia has been talking about her brother, and it ended up being your pen pal. So many things were running through your mind, but your mouth wasn’t able to form anything. Bellamy smiled at you, it was something you could get used to seeing. 

“Uh…” Octavia’s voice rang out from beside the two of you. “Y/N, all this time you’ve been talking to my brother?!” Her eyes went wide as she looked at you, bewildered. “Oh my gosh, I knew I should’ve asked for his name!” Then she turned to her sibling and smacked him softly on the chest. “And you! For one, didn’t mention a pen pal, number two, you’re a jerk for not answering her and keeping her all stressed out!” 

Your cheeks turned a slight shade of pink and you could feel Bellamy’s gaze on you. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything more about that. “How do you two know each other?” Bellamy glanced back and forth between you and his sister. 

“Octavia works in the building across the street from my shop.” You spoke up before Octavia could. 

Bellamy chuckled and shook his head. “Damn, such a small world.” 

You stood between the two siblings, waiting to see what would be said next. Octavia shifted her weight awkwardly between her feet before glancing at Bellamy. “I think I’ll let you and Y/N have some uh… time together. I’ll see you back at the house.” She walked over to him and gave him a hug, murmuring something you couldn’t hear.

All that was left was the two of you, standing in the middle of a crowded airport. “So you were stressed out about me?” You knew he had a smirk on his face before you even looked at him, you could hear it in his voice. 

“Can you blame me?” You raised your eyebrows at him and glanced at his arm in this sling against his chest. “It seems like I had a perfectly good reason to be stressed.” You took a minute to admire him. Bellamy looked a little different than what he looked like in the picture he sent you. 

His skin was darker and you were able to see that he had freckles peppered across his skin. You took notice of the scar on his top lip, you took a mental note to ask about it later. Bellamy’s hair was a little longer, it curled slightly against his head. His broad shoulders stretched out the thin fabric of his t-shirt. And his voice, you haven’t heard him speak much, but there was just something about it. It was deep and gravely, the kind of voice that made a shiver run up your spine. 

“I guess we should go get your luggage then, huh?” You looked up at him again, seeing him staring right back at you. Your heart seemed to skip a beat under his gaze. 

**Bellamy’s POV**

God, she’s beautiful. When he first looked at her, he didn’t even believe she was real. He saw a picture, sure, but seeing her in person didn’t even compare. Bellamy wanted to scoop her up in his arms, pull her close. 

He walked beside her as they headed to luggage pick up. Every time his arm brushed hers, Bellamy swore he felt electric shocks tickle his skin. “Hey, uh do you want to go get something to eat? I hear airplane food sucks.” 

Her voice pulled him from his thoughts. He glanced down at her and found himself nodding. “I could go for some food, where were you thinking?” 

“Hmm, there’s little Italian place about a half hour from here, really good sandwiches.” There was a sparkle in here eyes when she smiled, his heart almost melted out of his chest. 

“That sounds really good.” Bellamy just wanted to sit down, get to know her, beyond what was in the letters. “So did you drive here or?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah I did. It’s just out the north doors.” She pointed up the hall. The loud buzzer signalling the luggage belt was moving broke their gaze. They both stood in silence watching suitcases pass. Eventually, Bellamy’s big green duffel came around. Despite having an injured arm he picked it up with ease. “Do you need help or anything? I mean… well, your arm.” 

He smirked and shook his head. “You really think I’m going to make you carry my bag?” There was a blush that came onto her cheeks, he wasn’t sure he if would ever grow tired of seeing that. 

The walk out to her car was silent. Y/N opened her trunk and allowed Bellamy to toss his duffel inside. The two of them sat inside the car, Y/n turned the key and smiled over at him. “You ready?” 

**Reader’s POV**

You had to grip the steering wheel a little extra tight to keep your hands from shaking. Having him here in this confined space had your heart racing, it seemed completely surreal, having him here. “You can turn the radio on, if you want.” You glanced over at him for a moment. He seemed relaxed, leaning his head back against the seat. 

It only took about 20 minutes to arrive at the restaurant. You put the car in park and unlocked the doors, stepping outside. Bellamy stepped beside you, eyes focused on the restaurant “I know it’s not anything fantastic, but I swear it’s good.” You glanced up at him and offered a small smile. 

When the two of you stepped inside and were met by a chipper woman with wide eyes. “Hi there! Table for two?” A fake smile plastered on her lips. You nodded and the woman grabbed two menus. “Follow me, right this way!” She lead the two of you back into a booth in the corner of the dining area. “Kate will be with you momentarily.” 

You and Bellamy sat down across from each other, a slight awkwardness filling the air. “So…” You trailed off for a moment not really knowing where you going with this. 

Bellamy chuckled and shook his head. “Kinda at a loss of words?” He raised his eyebrow at you. 

“I’m sorry. I mean, you’re here and I’ve been dying to meet you and now that you’re here… I don’t even know what to say.” You huffed. Bellamy opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Kate. 

“Good afternoon, how are you guys today?” The two of muttered ‘good’ and let her continue. “Can I start you off with something to drink?” You ordered a tea while Bellamy got a water. “Okay, I’ll give you a few minutes to look over the menu.” She glanced between the two of you and walked off towards the kitchen. 

Your eyes drifted down to Bellamy’s arm in the sling, a frown coming over your face. Just thinking of what he went through made your stomach turn. “How’s your shoulder doing?” 

“It’s a lot better than what it was. I still have to go to physical therapy, work on getting the strength back in the muscles.” His eyebrows furrowed when he looked down at his own arm. You nodded, listening to what he was saying. “But my injuries where minor compared to the others. You remember the guy in the picture I sent you? His name is John. He has a broken leg now. And other people… well, yanno.” He shifted awkwardly in his seat and clenched his jaw. You didn’t push him any further, if he wanted to open up to you then he would do it on his own time. “So what about you? How’ve you been doing?”

“Me? Well, in this moment I think I’m doing pretty good. I have my midterms coming up, which I am not looking forward to.” You shrugged. 

“You’re going for psychology right? A smile went to your lips, surprised that he remembered. “Maybe you can fix me.” 

“I don’t see anything that needs fixing.” You frowned at him slightly. Before anything else was said, Kate came back with your drinks.

“So did you guys decide yet?” You opened the menu quickly scanning over it before settling on a toasted Italian hoagie and Bellamy got a toasted ham and cheese. Kate scribbled down your order and nodded. 

Bellamy sighed and looked down at the table. “I’m really happy you showed up today.” His voice dropped down to almost a whisper. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss the chance to meet my pen pal.” A small blush crept onto your cheeks. 

He smirked, looking up to meet your eyes. “I kept all your letters and that picture. It used to sit on the table beside my cot. You have no idea how bad I wanted to answer you, but I just wasn’t able to.” 

“Alrighty, here you go!” You inwardly groaned. This waitress sure did have annoying timing. She sat the plates down in front of you. Your stomach rumbled at the sight of the food on the table. 

The two of you continued your small talk in between bites. Eventually, your hunger craving was satisfied. Wiping your napkin over your mouth, you leaned back in your seat. “Okay, I’m completely stuffed. I can’t take another bite.” 

Bellamy chuckled and nodded. “Me either, it was really good though.” Kate came over a few moments later and grabbed the plates, setting them on top of a high piled tray. 

“Here is your check, whenever you’re ready. Take you’re time.” Kate grabbed the tray and propped it against her side, she seemed to be fumbling a little bit. 

You reached out and grabbed the check first, deciding not to make Bellamy pay. When he opened his mouth to protest, a loud crash came from the other side of the room. You glanced over at Kate, seeing that she dropped the tray of plates. 

Turning back to Bellamy, you saw his entire body went rigid. His jaw was clenched to tight the veins in his neck began to pop out. Bellamy’s eyes squeezed shut, drawing in a ragged breath. “Bellamy?” 

Concern etched in your features. He didn’t answer, didn’t move. You reached your hand across the table and touched his hand. The simple action made him flinch away. After he pulled his hand back, he seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. His breaths were still shaky, but he looked more relaxed. “I… I’m sorry I do-”

“Bellamy I’m the last person you need to apologize to. You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay.” You spoke softly to him, looking him in the eyes. He cleared his throat and nodded his head, unable to keep your gaze for very long. “I’m gonna go pay for this okay?” Picking up your purse, you slid from the booth and walked up to the front counter. 

After everything was paid for, you walked back to the table in time to see Bellamy tossing a few dollars on the table. “What are you doing?” 

He looked up at you before standing up. “You paid the bill, at least let me get the tip.” You rolled your eyes, deciding best not to argue with him. 

As the two of you walked out of the eatery, you looked up at him. “So, what would you like to do now?” 

“Hmm…” Bellamy let out a deep sigh. The breeze softly blew his hair back. You suddenly got the urge to run your fingers through it. This urge in your chest started growing, you wanted to hug him, feel his body pressed to yours. You shook your head, you were getting ahead of yourself. “As much as I would like to hang out with you all day, I probably should go see my sister.” 

There was a veil of disappointment that covered you. “Oh, yeah of course. I know she was really looking forward to you coming home.” You covered the frown on your lips with a small smile. “You’re going to have to tell me how to get to her place.” 

Bellamy chuckled and nodded his head. “Don’t worry. I got you.” He sent a small wink at you before getting in the car. It was ridiculous that the simple action sent butterflies throughout your entire body. 

You arrived at his sisters apartment much to soon. You really didn’t want Bellamy to leave, but you couldn’t take him away from his sister. “Alright, I guess uh… this is goodbye for now.” 

Bellamy let out a small laugh, shifting his body until he was looking at you. “I’m going to see you tomorrow, Y/N.” His hand stretched out and cupped your cheek. The touch of his hand on your skin sent tingles running through you. “You’re special to me, Y/N.”

All you could manage to do was nod your head. There was excitement already building inside of you for tomorrow. You felt like a giddy school girl. “Do you think I can have your number? Now that I’m home I don’t think there’s a need for letters.” You giggled and nodded your head, taking his phone from his hand. 

You typed the number in and hit save before handing it back to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bellamy.” 

“See you.” 

**Bellamy’s POV**

He really hated leaving her, the second he stepped out of the car he regretted it. She was different, she made him feel better about himself, about the episodes he has. Bellamy didn’t want to mention them to her, he didn’t even want her to know about them. She didn’t deserve that stress. These were his own issues.

Bellamy made his way up to his sister’s apartment and knocked on her door. It opened in an instant. He smiled at the sight of his sister standing in front of her. She grabbed his bag from his arm and wrapped her arm around him. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

He kissed the top of her head and shuffled back until they were inside, shutting the door behind them. The two pulled away from each other. Octavia gave her brother a cheesy smile. “Sooo… how was your date with Y/N?” 

Bellamy shook his head and sat down on her couch. “It wasn’t a date.” 

“Oh please! I saw the way you looked at her, brother. You went all heart eyes, weak in the knees.” She waved her hands in front of her face before sitting across from him. “Do you like her?” 

He rolled his eyes and leaned his head back, wiping his hand across his face. “I.. I don’t know, O. Sure we’ve talked for a little while. But we just met! This is the first time seeing her face to face and… It felt good being with her, felt natural. But..” He trailed off, not finishing his statement. 

Octavia moved to sit beside him. “But what, Bellamy? Why are you hesitating from something that you want?” 

He clenched his jaw again. “I had one of my episodes in front of her. It wasn’t a bad one, but it still happened. The damn waitress dropped a pile of dishes and… I don’t know the crashing made something in me pause.” 

“Was she freaked out or something? What’s the issue?” 

“No… no she was perfectly fine. I’m just not in control when they take over. I’m scared I could do something to her.” His words were strained, he couldn’t imagine hurting Y/N. But nothing was certain. 

“Oh Bell, you’re not going to hurt her. And trust me, I know Y/N. She’s too stubborn for her own good. She can handle herself.” Her hand rested on his knee and squeezed, showing her support. 

He was silent for a while. “Is it okay if I spend the night here? Not really in the mood to go back to my place.” 

“Of course. Stay as long as you like.”

The rest of the night was spent consumed with the Blake siblings catching up on TV shows, learning about her promotion, and eventually making dinner. By the time they were finished eating, Bellamy was exhausted. Between traveling and all the events today, his body was spent. “I think I’m gonna head to bed, O. I can’t stay awake any more.” 

She smiled over at him and nodded her head. “Goodnight Bell, you know where everything is.” 

Bellamy said his goodnight and headed down the hall into the spare bedroom. He set his bag down on the floor and began stripping off his clothes until he was left in only his boxers. Glancing at his phone, it was only nine o’clock. Bellamy sat down on the mattress, enjoying the way it gave under his weight. 

This felt way better than the cot he was used to sleeping on. He pulled the covers up to his chest, leaning against the comfy pillow. Soon after his eyes began fluttering shut. The last thing he remembered thinking before he fell asleep was Y/N. 

_“Alright, clear, next room. Move!”_

_“I don’t think there’s anyone in here, Blake.”_

_“Keep moving. We’re supposed to clear the entire house.”_

_Footsteps. Footsteps pounding as everyone headed up the stairs. There was something wrong, he could feel it._

_A chest, a large chest sitting in the middle of the floor. No, that shouldn’t be there. “Jackson, wa-”_

_Thunder echoed along the walls. A force pressed back on his chest, tossing him against the wall. Flames seared his skin. Rumble crumbling everywhere._

_Smoke filled the man’s lungs. He stood up and looked around. There was blood. So much blood. Arms. Legs. Bodies. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Why wasn’t he hurt? They were all his men, his friends. Dead. Blown to pieces._

_He walked over to the one wall where a mirror hung. Blood splattered across the reflective surface. “It’s all your fault.” His reflection spoke to him. “They’re all dead. Because of you.”_

_Bellamy felt his lungs contracting. His heart felt as if it was going to explode in his chest. No.. no this wasn’t his fault, was it? “YOU, told them to keep moving. YOU made them keep searching.”_

_The tears in his eyes burned more than the smoke. “No.. No I.. I didn’t do this.”_

_His reflection let out a sinister laugh. “You did! You killed them Bellamy. You’re a murderer!”_

Bellamy jerked awake, sitting straight up. Sweat covered his entire body making the sheets stick to his skin. He ran his hand under his eyes, wiping his tears dry. His chest ached, he felt as if he was in a fog. The heavy feeling on his chest grew. Bellamy felt like he was drowning, desperately gasping for air. 

His hand shook as he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. Paying no attention to the time, he dialed the newly added number. He didn’t know why she was the person he wanted to talk to. He just needed to hear her voice. Bellamy needed Y/N.


	5. Relax

_Buzz._

_Buzz. ___

__Why was your phone going off? There was no way it could be morning already. Your eyes cracked open, everything was dark. The only light coming from your phone. Letting out a huff you scooted over towards the night stand, grabbing your phone. When your eyes registered the name on the screen, you hit answer immediately._ _

__“Bellamy?”_ _

__There was a pause on the other end of the line. You could hear panting on the other end of the line. “Bellamy are you okay?”_ _

__He cleared his throat and you heard him sigh. “Uh, I couldn’t sleep and… I don’t know it’s late I shouldn’t have called.”_ _

__Your heart was clenching at his words. It was obvious that the problem was bigger than him not being able to sleep. There was panic in his voice along with something else… desperation? “No, no it’s okay. Are you alright? You sound a little panicy.”_ _

__Bellamy’s voice suddenly sounded chipper, but it was laced with a fake undertone. “ Oh yeah I’m fine, like I said-”_ _

__“Bellamy. You’re allowed to talk to me.” You wanted him to know you meant it, that you were sincere in your words. There was this nagging urge to comfort him, make him feel better till he was able to fall back asleep. “I can tell something’s wrong.”_ _

__There was another pause on the line. “You know that explosion I told you about?” He didn’t wait for you to respond. “It kinda just plays in my head on repeat, like my own personal nightmare.” His voice sneered through the line and a pout jutted out your bottom lip._ _

__You didn’t know a lot about Bellamy, but you did know he didn’t deserve this. He risked his life for the good of everyone and now he’s suffering for it. An idea suddenly popped in your head, something that your parents used to do when you had trouble sleeping. “Wanna go on a drive somewhere?”_ _

__The words escaped your mouth before you even thought the entire idea through. “A what?”_ _

__“Do you want to go on a drive?” You said the words a little more clearly this time and a smile made their way onto your lips._ _

__“Uh, sure? Where are we going?” The confusion in his voice was almost enough to make you laugh. You were just happy the panic in his voice was gone._ _

__“I’ll be over in about 20 minutes, you’re still at Octavia’s right?” By this point all sleepiness had left your eyes. You were wide awake, pulling your covers off of you._ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“Get dressed. I’ll be there soon.” Without another word you hung up. Jumping out of bed, you flicked on the light, wincing from the harsh rays. You tugged on a shirt and a pair of shorts. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you brushed your fingers through your hair in attempt to tame your locks. After your teeth were brushed, shoes were on, you were ready to leave._ _

__You pulled up in front of Octavia’s apartment complex exactly twenty minutes later. There wasn’t exactly a lot of traffic at 2am. Pulling out your phone, you sent Bellamy a quick text letting him know you were outside. Your eyes stayed locked on the lobby doors, waiting for him to walk outside._ _

__Five minutes later, Bellamy emerged from the building. He had on jeans and a fitted tan t-shirt. How did he manage to look this good? He literally just got out of bed. Bellamy opened your car door and slipped in with ease. You smiled over at him. “I was beginning to think you fell back asleep.”_ _

__He laughed and shook his head. “You want to tell me where you’re taking me?”_ _

__A blush crept onto your cheeks. “You’ll figure it out.” You smirked over at him and put your car into drive. Bellamy didn’t question you anymore, he simply leaned back in the seat. Occasionally you would feel his eyes on you. His stare made you squirm. You chewed on your bottom lip, trying your best to keep your focus on the road._ _

__“The beach?” Bellamy questioned you when you put your car in park, turning off the engine. You looked over and he raised an eyebrow at you._ _

__It was impossible to keep the smile off your face. “Yeah, the beach.” You opened your door and stepped outside. A sigh escaped you when the beach breeze surrounded you._ _

__“Why the beach?” Bellamy stepped beside you, grabbing the towel you handed him._ _

__“It’s probably the best place to clear your head.” You shrugged and headed towards the sandy path. Glancing behind you, you saw Bellamy hesitate. “You coming?”_ _

__He nodded and you waited till he was beside you to start walking again. The smile on your face grew when you stepped foot on the shore. You paused for a moment to tug off your converse. The beach was completely empty, the moon reflected against the water, giving it a deep blue hue._ _

__“C’mon.” You were suddenly giddy. Reaching back, you grabbed Bellamy hand and tugged him further along. Once you were right out of the waters reach, you spread your towel out on the ground, sitting on top of it._ _

__Bellamy followed suit, he sat down and bent his knees, resting his one arm on top, the other still cradled by the sling. You glanced over at him and noticed his eyebrows were pinched together. “You know you’re supposed to be relaxing here, not scowling at the waves.”_ _

__Your voice had a tease to it, trying to lighten whatever mood he was in. Bellamy just sighed, running a hand over his face before glancing over at you. His eyes twinkled in the moon light, The soft light highlighting across his cheekbones. He looked good, even if his expression was pained. “How am I supposed to relax?”_ _

__Your lips pressed in to a thin line before scooting over closer to him. Close enough that your sides were brushing against each other. “My dad used to bring me out here when I was younger. I had a lot of panic attacks and it was always a struggle to calm me down. He told me to match my breathing with the waves.” Your eyes left Bellamy’s and looked out at the ocean. His eyes stayed on you. “When the waves recede, you breathe in. When they crash, you breathe out.” You demonstrated, focusing on the rhythmic movements of the sea._ _

__It’s been forever since you’ve been here, done this. You didn’t even feel stressed, but this simple action caused your body to be completely at peace. Your eyes drifted over to Bellamy. His eyes were focused intently on the waves, shoulders rising and falling with every breath._ _

__Eventually you found yourself laying back on your towel, staring up at the star covered sky. “I just feel like it’s my fault. John told me the house was empty but I didn’t listen. We were told to clear the house so.” You shifted your gaze over to Bellamy, staring at his back. His muscles were tense, shoulders stiff. One of your hands reached out, rubbing supportive circles across his back. “People died, Y/N. All because I told them to keep going. I knew that building was clear.”_ _

__“Bellamy, that wasn’t your fault.” You were sitting up now, making his face turn towards you. “You can’t blame yourself for this. No one could’ve known what was going to happen.” A frown was set upon your features._ _

__He turned his face and looked at you. Tears were beginning to swell in his eyes. Bellamy’s bottom lip quivered and you had half the notion to kiss it. “Every time I close my eyes I see it.” You had to strain to hear him. His voice was nothing more than a deep whisper. “You help though… give me something else to think about.” A smirk came onto his lips, you were grateful to see something besides a frown._ _

__“Glad I could be of service.” You smiled at him, this time Bellamy returned it. He outstretched his free arm and cupped your cheek. His calloused thumb ran over your cheek bone. Your eyes stayed locked on his, his eyes were full of emotion, but you were unable to decipher which it was. The thud in your chest grew stronger, more rapid._ _

__The air between the two of you suddenly became thick, almost too thick to breathe. Bellamy leaned forward slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, as if asking for permission. Your tongue reached out and swiped over your bottom lip. Leaning forward was all the permission Bellamy needed._ _

__His hand gripped your jaw a little tighter, pulling your lips to his. You melted against his lips. Any tension that was in Bellamy’s muscle seemed to disappear. His plush lips moved in sync with yours. A heavy sigh came from you lungs when his tongue reached out, asking to play with yours._ _

__You automatically opened your mouth, giving him access. Your bodies shifted closer to each other, you swung your leg around his legs, straddling him. His hand left your face and shifted down to your sides, giving you a small squeeze. Your hands tangled in his wavy locks, giving them a small tug._ _

__Bellamy groaned as his kiss became more demanding. His lips moved hastily against yours as if he couldn’t get enough of you. Things were getting really heated really fast. It soon became all hands and tongues. “Bellamy…” You murmured his name against his lips._ _

__Your back arched and pressed your chest tight to his. The heat between the two of you vanished when Bellamy winced back, letting out a small hiss. Confusion crossed your face which was quickly followed by realization. You glanced down from his face and looked at his sling. “I’m so sorry.” Your eyes pleaded with him._ _

__Bellamy displayed a small smile. “No, no it’s okay.” He let out a small laugh. “I didn’t even feel it at first… was kind of uh… distracted.” A cocky smile came to him._ _

__It then occurred to you that you were still sitting in Bellamy’s lap. A flush formed on your skin before awkwardly climbing off of him. “Does it hurt?” You were referring to his arm, looking at it more than his face._ _

__He smiled softly and shook his head. “I’m fine, Y/N. Thanks to you.” There was that damn smirk again. You picked up your phone and glanced at the screen. It was a little past 4am._ _

__“As much as I would love to stay out here all night with you, I have class tomorrow morning.” You smiled sheepishly at him_ _

__Bellamy nodded and stood up before holding his hand out to you, “Then lets get you home okay?” The ride home was silent, but a comfortable one. The two of you just simply enjoyed each other’s company with the windows down._ _

__You waited until Bellamy walked back inside Octavia’s building before pulling back out. It was only then you realized how tired you were. When you got back to your apartment you instantly crashed on your bed. That night you dreamt of him and instead of war, Bellamy dreamt of you._ _

__The next couple of weeks went by with a blur. Between your classes and work, Bellamy having physical therapy, it was hard for the two of you to spend time together. But you talked constantly, always texting, phone calls whenever you could. Raven thought it was destiny that you ended up talking to Octavia’s brother, that you guys were long lost soul mates or something like that._ _

__It seemed Octavia was happy about it too. The two of you would talk about him when she came into the bakery. It upset you when she talked about his night terrors, that he was barely sleeping. You wished you could take him back to that beach. You knew he was having some trouble, but nothing like what Octavia described._ _

__For once, the two of you were both free this evening. The second you got off work, you pulled out your phone and clicked on Bellamy’s name. He answered on the second ring. “Hey.” His deep voice instantly stirring butterflies inside of you._ _

__“Hey, guess what I figured out?”_ _

__“Hmm, what’s that?” You could hear the smile in his voice. For a moment you closed your eyes, picturing that sweet smile on his lips._ _

__“We are both free this evening. I’m thinking maybe you coming over? Make some dinner? Watch a movie or two?” Your eyebrows raised in anticipation, waiting for his answer._ _

__“I think that sounds like an amazing idea. What time do you want me to come over?”_ _

__The butterflies in your stomach turned into a swarm. “Does six sound okay?”_ _

__“I’ll see you then princess.” You new nickname was something you weren’t sure you were ever going to get used to._ _

__Six came a lot faster than you thought it would. You made sure you were showered and dressed before Bellamy got here. Exactly at six, a knock came from your front door. You stopped what you were doing in the kitchen and went to the door, opening it to revel Bellamy._ _

__“Hey there.” He smiled down at you. Your eyes took him in. A blue henley shirt stretched across his broad chest, he was almost drool worthy._ _

__“Hey yourself.” You stepped to the side, allowing Bellamy to step inside. He’s only ever been to your apartment one other time, but never to hang out like this. You enjoyed having him here, he made your home feel cozier._ _

__Bellamy let himself to walk into your kitchen, his eyes scanned across all the pots and pans you had laying on the counter. “You cooking for two or a whole army?” He laughed and leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. Your eyes scanned across the ripples of his muscles, but something was different from the last time you saw him._ _

__“Wait! Where’s your sling?” Your looked at him in confusion, walking over to stand in front of him. Bellamy chuckled and swung his arm down by his side._ _

__“I’m a free man now. Doc told me I could take it off yesterday. Still gotta be careful about what I lift and I can’t fully reach over my head yet.” He shrugged like it was nothing._ _

__You smiled up at him. “I’m glad to see your shoulder’s healing.” Turning back to the island in your kitchen, you flipped over a page in the cook book. “You ready to start cookin?”_ _

__Bellamy was in charge of making the steak while you focused on the pasta. “It’s been a while since we’ve hung out. How have you been?” He shrugged and used the tongs to flip over the steak in the pan._ _

__“Well my arm is getting better so I guess I’m doing pretty good.”_ _

__“I meant like you being able to sleep… your nightmares?” Bellamy tensed. Shit. You knew you shouldn’t have said anything. You should’ve just kept your mouth shut and it would’ve been a nice evening. Too late now._ _

__“I’m fine.” His voice was deep, cold. You chewed on your bottom lip._ _

__Bellamy turned around away from you and opened your cupboard, aimlessly looking through your shelf full of spices. “I’m just asking… Octavia said that you we-”_ _

__“So you and my sister are talking about me now?” He snipped at you. Bellamy never talked to you like that. It honestly made your heart constrict a little._ _

__You shook your head. “No, it’s not like that. I just wanted to see how you were.” Your eyes pleaded up at him, but he refused to look at you._ _

__“Ask my sister how I am. She seems to know everything.” His nostrils flared and his jaw ticked from being clenched so tight._ _

__“Bellamy ple-”_ _

__“I said I’m fine, Y/N.” Bellamy’s voice grew louder as he talked through clenched teeth._ _

__“I didn’t mean to upset you. I ju-” Your hand reached out to touch his previously slung arm._ _

__“I’m fine, dammit!” Bellamy’s voice boomed as he flung his arm back, pushing you. You stumbled backwards and your back hit the sharp corner of your counter, making you wince._ _

__Bellamy’s eyes looked you up and down. You swore you saw his eyes soften for a moment. But by the time he looked you in the eyes again, they were hard, dark, cold. Your bottom lip trembled, struggling to keep your breathing even._ _

__“I have to go.” You weren’t even sure you heard him right. But watching Bellamy’s back recede towards the door confirmed what you heard. The door slamming shut behind him made you wince again. When the door shut, the tears that were in your eyes finally fell down your cheeks._ _

__You slid down your cabinets till you reached the floor. Hugging your knees to your chest, you kept your eyes locked on the door, despite how blurry your vision had become. All you could think about was Bellamy walking back through your front door, telling you that everything was okay._ _

__But it never happened._ _


	6. Dear Bellamy

**Bellamy’s POV**

He left Y/N’s apartment without a single glance back. He didn’t mean to yell at her, didn’t mean to push her. But what was done was done. There was no going back now. Bellamy knew he officially scared her off for good. Maybe it’s for the best. He didn’t want to burden her with his baggage. She deserved better than this. But it still didn’t stop his chest from shattering. 

His foot slammed on the gas petal, he didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it had to be far. The further he drove, the blurrier his vision got. For a moment, Bellamy let his emotions get the best of him. His eyes stung as tears slid down his cheeks. 

Driving wasn’t enough to calm his nerves, he needed something else. Something to cloud the thoughts of her. Bellamy didn’t like letting people in. Hell he barely let his sister in. But Y/N, that damn girl dug herself so far under his skin. 

The neon sign of a bar shown in the distance. Without a second glance, Bellamy pulled in the parking lot. It was packed, bodies lined up along the bar. The familiar smell of smoke made his nose twitch. He sat down on an empty stool at the far end of the bar. 80′s rock music filled his ears, he almost didn’t hear the bartender. “What can I get ya handsome?” 

Bellamy’s eyes traveled to the woman behind the bar. She had blonde hair, a little too much eyeliner smudged around her eyes, and a tank top that was about two sizes too small. “Whiskey.” His own voice surprised him, it was raspier than usual, deeper. 

“Sure thing.” She flashed him a smile, white teeth standing out from her bright red lipstick. Bellamy’s eyes watched as she turned, grabbing a bottle and pouring the dark liquid into a glass. She was back in front of him in an instant. Sitting the glass down in front of him, “So you wanna tell me why you got that sad look on your face?” Her elbows rested against the bar, leaning in closer to him. 

Bellamy scoffed and gripped the glass, tossing the alcohol down his throat. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” He shook his head, not daring to look her in the eyes. 

“Try me.” Her voice dropped, a teasing tone underneath. He clenched his jaw, hard enough to make his teeth hurt. “C’mon. Family trouble? Girl problems?”

He quickly downed what was left in his glass. “Something like that.” This time he did look up, her eyes were dark. Her face was close, too close. “Another one.” The girls eyebrow raised and Bellamy reduced the urge to roll his eyes. “Please.” 

She smirked at him and went to grab another drink for him. Although this time when she came back, she brought the whole damn bottle. “My name is Sarah, by the way.” He simply nodded, taking a large swig. “Normally this is were you’d tell me your name.” She laughed and it sent a shiver down his spine. It wasn’t melodic like Y/N’s, instead it kind of got on his nerves. 

“My name is Bellamy.” 

By the fifth glass of whiskey, Sarah’s laugh wasn’t so annoying anymore. He didn’t mind the messy makeup on her face, the cheap perfume that coated her skin, or the way her hand would occasionally reach out and touch his arm. 

For once Y/N wasn’t on his mind, the guilt in his chest finally started to fade. It was replaced by the warm numbness the whiskey was providing him. Sarah was nice, really nice. Would it be so bad if she just helped him forget? Just for one night?

**Reader’s POV**

It had been five days. Five days since Bellamy’s outburst. Five days since you’ve seen him, talked to him. The night still played through your head like a bad nightmare that just wouldn’t go away. 

After Bellamy left that evening you stayed on the floor for a long time. Long enough for all the food on the stove to burn and fill your kitchen with smoke. You spent hours trying to get the charcoaled food out of the pans, cursing the entire time you did it. You felt pissed, hurt, so many things. 

You didn’t try contacting him that night, or even the next morning. But on the second day you cracked. You had to know if he was okay, what he was doing. Octavia didn’t know either. He wasn’t answering her calls. She told you to stop by his place a few times, but it was pointless. It’s like he fell off the grid. 

So you tried your best to ignore the twisting feeling in your stomach every time Raven or Octavia asked if you’ve heard from him. The answer was always the same. You weren’t sure why they even asked at this point. 

It was day eleven now. Still nothing. You buried yourself in your work and classes. Whatever you could to keep your mind off of him. This entire situation reminded you of the first time he ghosted. But this time was worse. Now you’ve spent time with him, talked to him, kissed him. But he just vanished. 

After a while you stopped calling, stopped texting. just stopped trying. Why were you so focused on him when he obviously didn’t care? “Y/N… Y/N!” You jumped slightly, snapping out of whatever trance you were in. 

Raven shook her head before shutting her laptop. “Seriously what is going on in that head of yours?” 

You shrugged. “Hmm, what kind of icing I should put on these cupcakes?” You offered her a smile before scooping some peanut butter icing on top of the chocolate cupcake in your hand. 

“Nice try.” She took another gulp of her coffee before sliding you an empty cup. “More please.” You rolled your eyes and took her cup. 

“I just don’t get it you know. I’ve been nothing but understanding and I tried my best to be helpful. I really did, yanno?” Raven sighed and nodded her head. “So then why is he avoiding me?” 

You exasperated before sitting her cup down in front of her. “He’s been through a lot, Y/N. PTSD is a thing, he’s probably just trying to figure out how to deal with it all.” 

A sigh left your lips, focusing extra hard on the cupcakes in front of you. All you wanted to do was help me. You couldn’t understand what he was going through right now, but you knew you were going to try your damn best get through to him. You’ve made up your mind. There was no reason for him to go through this alone. 

It was around 8:00 when you made your way over to Bellamy’s place. You knew he wasn’t home, he was never home. Your heart was pounding in your chest when you walked over to his door. Maybe you were making a mistake, you didn’t even know if Bellamy even checked his mail anymore. 

Biting on your bottom lip, you fumbled with the envelope in your fingers. Taking a deep breath you opened the top of his mailbox pinned to the wall beside his door. You noticed the box was empty. Good. At least he was checking his mail. 

Before your thoughts talked you out of it, the envelope was dropped inside. You don’t think that you ever dipped out of a building do fast in your life. The thought of running into Bellamy was enough to make you nauseous. You made it back to your apartment without any complications. 

There was only one thing you could do. Wait. 

**Bellamy’s POV**

No matter what he tried, that girl could not get out of his head. No matter how much he drank, no matter who he talked to, she was always there. Right in the back of his mind. 

Bellamy tried moving on from her. The night he left her apartment, he thought he was getting over her with the bartender. But as soon as Sarah’s lips touched his, Bellamy couldn’t go through with it. She didn’t feel right, didn’t taste right. He wished he never would’ve kissed Y/N, then maybe he would’ve been able to go through it. 

But she ruined all other women for him. And it pissed him off. No one else had that little twinkle in her eye that made his stomach turn in knots. No other woman even came close to Y/N. He tried, he really did, but nothing worked. 

He wanted to talk to her, even just to check in on her. But Bellamy knew it would only make things worse. She was going to want more from him and he couldn’t give her that. It killed him that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, what he wanted. 

Bellamy couldn’t be selfish with her. She didn’t deserve it. He groaned at his own inner monologue before walking back to his apartment. Opening his mailbox, he saw a few things inside. Same as usual bills, flyers. 

Walking inside, Bellamy threw the pile of mail on the counter. Pausing for a moment when something caught his eye. There was a plain white envelope mixed in with the pile. Furrowing his eyebrows, Bellamy picked up the envelope. His name was scribbled on the front. He for sure thought his heart leaped into his chest when he recognized the hand writing. 

Y/N?

He needed to sit down for this. Did he even want to open this? Of course he did. What was he thinking? Bellamy took in a shaky breath before sitting down by the kitchen table. 

With careful hands, he opened the envelope. His heart was thudding against his rib cage. Why did she write him a letter? Bellamy clenched his jaw as he unfolded the paper, letting his eyes scan over her words. 

_Dear Bellamy,_

_I don’t know what you’re doing or where you’ve been. But I miss you. At this point I’m not exactly sure why. I just wanted to help, I still do._

_That night I didn’t mean to make you upset, or angry at me. I can’t pretend to understand what you went through. But I do want you to know that I am here for you. I shouldn’t have said anything about Octavia - I hope you’re not mad at her. She was just concerned about you, like I was._

_She told me you weren’t sleeping. I could see the dark circles around your eyes. I know you have nightmares, Bellamy. You can’t let guilt control your life. You’ve suffered so much. But you’re not there anymore, Bell. You’re back here, with your sister, with me. You can’t keep your mind back at war._

_I want to see you. Meet me Friday night at the beach we went to. 9:00pm, okay? I hope you want to see me too._

_Sincerely, Your Pen Pal_

Bellamy read the letter over and over until he almost had the entire thing memorized. It was Wednesday, he had two days to figure out what he wanted to do. He missed Y/N. He really fucking did. 

She made him feel better about himself, like maybe he could actually get through this. Bellamy only hoped that he didn’t have another outburst in front of her. He was so afraid of hurting her, he wasn’t in control when his episodes took over. Bellamy already pushed her, what else could he do? 

**Reader’s POV**

Friday night came a lot faster than you anticipated. You didn’t know what you were going to do if he didn’t show up. Hell you didn’t know what to do if he did show up. You paced in your bedroom in front of your closet, biting on your fingernail. 

It was only 6:00, you had plenty of time. You took your time in the shower, lathering soap all over your body, letting the hot water attempt to calm your nerves. You stayed under the steady stream until the water started to run cold. 

Pulling your towel around yourself, you stepped out of the shower. Your hand wiped over the foggy mirror, staring back at your reflection. To be honest, the past few days haven’t been the best to you either. Your cheeks were hollowed a little more than usual, a shade of purple rested on your bottom lip. 

Maybe the worrying got to you more than you thought. You went back to you closet, pulling out a little sundress from the back of your closet. It was baby blue and a halter with the back cut out. The top of the dress hugged across your chest before flaring out at your waist. It was cute, simple. 

You glanced back at the clock, you had one hour until you have to leave. Your nerves were coming back again. After brushing and drying your hair, fixing your makeup, you were finally ready. The reflection you saw almost startled you. You haven’t seen yourself this dressed up in a while. 

Before you knew it, it was time to leave. Somehow you managed to walk to your car and drive down the road. You bit your lip, trying your best not to start shaking. The moon wasn’t as full as it was that night you and Bellamy came here, but it was still beautiful. 

You pulled your car into the parking lot, doing a glance around. Bellamy’s car wasn’t here. You couldn’t help the tingle of disappointment brewing inside of you. Shaking your head, you brushed it away. You were early, he still had time. 

Stepping out of your vehicle, you grabbed your towel and headed down into the sand. You checked your phone every other minute, constantly glancing behind you. But every time you looked, there was no signs of Bellamy. 

The disappointment came back again, but this time it wasn’t going anywhere. And it wouldn’t not unless Bellamy arrived. 

It was 9:10 now and you were beginning to antsy. You were no longer able to sit down, pacing in the sand. The waves crashed by your feet. You tried following the advice you gave Bellamy, matching your breathing with the waves. 

Each minute that went by was another crack in your heart. Maybe there was traffic? Every excuse you could muster started going through your head. There was no way he was going to leave you here right? He had to come. 

9:20

It was hard to keep believing that traffic was the cause of his absence. 

9:35

Why were you even here at this point? Bellamy made it perfectly clear where he stood, all you could do was accept it. 

**Bellamy’s POV**

He was a mess. There were too many thoughts spinning around his head. A part of him wanted to speed down the highway, run onto that beach and wrap Y/N in his arms. The other part kept telling him that he wasn’t worthy of her, to let her go. He looked at the clock. It was 9:00. Bellamy knew she was standing there on that beach. Alone. 

One side eventually won. 

Bellamy practically sprinted to his car, tires screeching slightly when he turned onto the main highway. He glanced at the clock again, biting his cheek. His hand pounded against the steering wheel as if that would make the car go faster. Bellamy’s heart was racing. He was late, what if she already left? 

The rest of the drive was a blur. Bellamy whipped into the parking lot, not even worrying about locking the doors. His feet pounded against the pavement, slowing down once he hit the sand. 

Bellamy slowed the lump in his throat, ignoring the sound of his pulse in his ears. He made his way down the beach. Bellamy stopped walking. Taking in the sight in front of him, all the air in his lungs froze.


	7. Convince Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be warned - smut ahead !!

You felt stupid. Embarrassed. Disappointed. ‘ _5 more minutes_ ’. Those were the words that played on repeat in your head. You had to bite on your bottom lip to keep it from trembling. The air was warm, but you were shaking. No matter how much your feet wanted to stay cemented in the sand, you knew you couldn’t stay here all night. It would only make things worse. You had to leave, had to get out of there. 

**Bellamy’s POV**

It took him a second to catch his breath. The view in front of him confirmed his worst fear. He was too late. Y/N was gone. His head shook back and forth, stalking up and down the edge of the beach. “Son of a bitch!” Bellamy’s deep voice roared louder than the waves in front of him. 

His fists clenched at his sides. He needed to hit something. Why couldn’t he have left sooner? Anger and guilt were pumping through his veins. Bellamy didn’t even want to imagine what was going through her head right now. She probably thought he hated him. But that was far from the truth. He just wished she was here so he could tell her. 

Her apartment. The idea clicked in his head, making him cease all movement. A small laugh left his lips. Bellamy may have missed her here, but she would be home. When he got there, he would make up for everything he put her through, murmur endless apologizes against her lips. 

Bellamy’s feet flung up sand as he ran across the shore. Slipping into the front seat, it only took him a matter of seconds to be on the road again. The street lights blurred as he floored down the road. He was going to fix this, fix everything. Bellamy’s fingers tapped against the steering wheel. His nerves starting to turn on end again. He tried to calm his breathing when he pulled into Y/N’s apartment building. 

**Reader’s POV**

It didn’t take long for you to break down once you got inside your apartment. You were surprised you kept it together that long. Your purse hit the floor with a thud, feet dragging along the floor until you hit your couch. Slouching down onto the soft cushions, you hugged a pillow to your chest to nuzzle your face in. 

The feeling in your chest burned as it started to spread throughout your entire body. How could you have been so stupid? Bellamy hasn’t talked to you in days, the letter obviously made no difference. That is if he even read it. With you luck, the letter was probably ripped up in his trash. 

A loud banging came from your front door, making you jump. You turned your head and stared at the door for a moment, making sure the knocking you heard was even real. But then it came again. It was past 10 at night, no one should be at your door. 

You wiped your fingers under your eyes, trying to reduce the smudged makeup below your lashes. The banging grew louder, a frantic fist pounding from the outside. “Alright, geesh, I’m coming.” You muttered to yourself before walking over to the door. It was times like this you wish you had a peep hole. 

Your fingers wrapped around the knob and pulled it open. “Can I he-” Whatever sentence you were trying to say was cut off completely. “What are you doing here?” Bellamy was standing in front of you. His chest shook from his rapid pants. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles underneath. In all honesty, he looked a mess. 

He froze when he looked at you. Your blood suddenly running cold, heart rate rapidly increasing. For a moment he didn’t reply. He simply just took a few moments to look at you. You almost shuddered watching his eyes travel up and down your body. 

Bellamy took a long stride forward and engulfed you in his arms. All the air in your lungs was squeezed out from his tight embrace. Without a second thought, your arms linked around his neck. You almost forgot how good he felt against you, so warm, sturdy. 

The smile on your lips was surly permanent as relief flooded over you. Bellamy had his face nuzzled against your neck, pushing the two of you back into the apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot. “Bellamy…” You murmured into his ear, running your fingers soothingly through his hair. “Are you okay?” You knew it was a stupid question to ask. The man was clearly a mess, but you really didn’t know what else to say to him. 

He swallowed hard before leaning back, still keeping you tight against him. You noticed he was crying, his cheeks were slick with tears. The look on his face practically broke you. His hands shifted north, cupping your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He didn’t sound like you remembered. The deep strong voice you grown accustomed too was replaced by a much softer one. “For everything.” 

“It’s okay, let’s ju-” You tried to coax him to calm down. 

“No. I need to get this out.” His fingers flexed against your cheeks, squeezing slightly. “I have done a lot of stupid things in my life, a lot. But leaving you, shutting you out, that by far takes the damn cake.” He left out a heavy sigh, dropping his head and hands. “I’m not in the best place in my head right now. I thought by keeping you out of it I was protecting you, protecting you from all my baggage.” Bellamy shook his head, running a hand down his face. “And that damn night I pushed you, I knew I couldn’t stay here anymore. I was dangerous and I couldn’t risk hurting you anymore.” 

You huffed at the last words he said. “Good job at that one.” You turned your back towards him, walking over to the couch to sit back down. 

Bellamy sighed behind you and followed you over to the couch. He paused for a moment then leaned down in front of you. “I know I hurt you, and I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for that. But, I was wrong, okay? Leaving you made everything worse. I couldn’t sleep, I was barely even functioning. I was desperate to try and find something to help me, put me back together. I was to blind to realize that something was right in front of me all along.” His voice trailed off at the end, resting his hands on your knees. 

You stared at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open. It was taking you a second to process what all he had said. It was everything you were dying to hear. A small smile crept onto your lips and you swear you could see some of the tension leaving Bellamy’s rigid shoulders. “So I’m guessing you got the letter?” 

He let out a laugh and nodded his head, giving your knees a squeeze. “Of course I got it. It’s with all the other letters you’ve ever sent me.” 

The sound of that made your insides warm. It was nice knowing he kept everything, just like you. But there was one question still in your mind. “But at the beach… you got my letter and still missed me?” Your eyebrow raised as you answered the question. 

Bellamy tensed a little again. “Yeah… I’m going to be honest. At first I wasn’t going to show up. I was still convinced you were better off without me. But then I thought about you standing there on that damn beach all alone. I lost it. I knew I had to get you back one way or another.” 

You scooted forward on the couch till your legs were on both sides of him, his hands now sitting against your upper thighs. “So you decided to hunt me down at my apartment?” 

“Damn right.” Bellamy nodded affirmatively, a smirk peeking on his lips. His thumbs were rubbing across exposed skin of your thighs, teasing at the hem of your dress. You bit your bottom lip, resting your hands around the back of his neck again. “Think you can find it somewhere inside of you to forgive me?” Bellamy sheepishly looked up at you. There was desperation in his eyes, as if he actually thought you were going to say no. 

A teasing smile tugged onto your face, squeezing your thighs against his sides. “I think I might need just a little bit of convincing.” You swore Bellamy practically growled before he attached his lips to yours. 

His hands wrapped around your waist, tugging him impossibly closer to him. He held you like glass, as if you were going to shatter in his arm if he squeezed too hard. Your fingers tugged at his locks before melting against him. You missed this, missed him. Bellamy’s lips moved in perfect sync with yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces. His tongue reached out to swipe across your bottom lip before nipping at it. 

You moaned before opening up to him, letting his tongue play with yours. He gripped your thighs, moving them higher up his sides in order to get your ankles to lock behind him. You gasped when Bellamy’s hand gripped under your ass, lifting you up. Your limbs wrapped around him, clinging. 

Bellamy moved with ease back to your bedroom. He laid you down on the mattress, pinning you underneath his long body. Your dress was bunched around your hips, giving him access to anything he wanted. His lips moved down to your jaw to your neck. He sucked on your sensitive skin, letting his tongue trace along a vein. “Christ, you smell good.” 

A groan escaped your lips feeling his chest rumble as you pressed tighter against his. Your fingers gripped at his shirt, tugging it upwards. You wanted it off. Now. Bellamy chuckled, pausing his actions for a moment. “Patience, princess.” He murmured against your skin before continuing his sinful trail downwards, placing kissed between your fabric covered breasts. 

His hands hiked up your dress, tracing along your hips. You thought you were going to come undone right then and there. Bellamy’s large palms squeezed at your sides, calloused fingers tracing along your hip bones. Your hips rolled upwards, pushing against his. You smirked when you felt him harden underneath his pants. 

Bellamy was suddenly gone from on top of you. You were about to protest, but him taking his shirt off cut off all of your coherent thoughts. The sight of his tanned skin stretched over chiseled muscles that seemed to stretch on for miles, it was damn breathtaking. You sat up, curling your finger a belt loop on his pants, tugging him to you. 

Your hands traveled down his chest, exploring every inch of his stomach. You stopped to admire a few scars scattered across his skin, a small frown pouting out your bottom lip. Every scar had a story, you wanted to know what each one was from. Bellamy reached down, tilting your chin up to look at him. His thumb ran over your bottom lip before kissing you again. 

He gripped the edge of your dress, breaking the kiss to pull it over your head. You were exposed in front of him, only thing left covering you was the lacy blue underwear you were wearing. Bellamy quickly discarded his pants before crawling back on top of you. You only had a moment to admire his muscular legs, glancing quickly at his erection beneath his boxers. 

A flush came across your skin as Bellamy’s eyes racked over your body. You fought against the urge to cover yourself as Bellamy pressed kisses between your breasts. “You’re so beautiful.” His words sent a shiver straight down to your core. 

The need bubbling inside of you began to grow, you need more, more of him. “Please… Bell.” Your voice was reduced to a whimper, withering beneath him. 

You could feel the smirk on his lips as he continued to kiss down your stomach. “Please what, sweetheart?” You wanted to roll your eyes, throw some sarcastic comment his way. But Bellamy pressed a kiss against your core, running a finger down the soaked fabric of your panties. He hummed in appreciation. 

“Ple.. keep doing that.” You were breathless, tangling your fingers in his hair to keep him against you. Bellamy’s fingers hooked in the sides of your underwear before pulling them down your legs, discarding them behind his shoulder. His warm breath fanned over you before letting his tongue swipe across your folds. 

The simple act had erotic sounds coming from your lips. Bellamy took no mercy on you. He allowed a thick finger to slide inside of you, giving you a glimpse of what was to come. His tongue made quick work of your clit before latching his lips around it, sucking softly. Your eyes rolled back in your head, slightly grinding against his mouth, a silent demand for more. He added another finger, pumping into you. Bellamy was pushing you towards something epic. Your walls clenched around his fingers. 

He must’ve sensed you were about to finish. Bellamy pulled his fingers from you before sucking your slick from himself. A frustrated groan pushed out of you. His lips turned up into a smirk before sliding his boxers down his thighs, stepping out of them. Suddenly you weren’t so frustrated anymore. 

Bellamy kissed his way back up to your lips, the taste of you lingering on his tongue. The head of his cock nudged against your center. You legs opened wider, giving him better access. His hand slipped down between your bodies, lining himself up before easing inside of you. Bellamy’s eyes squeezed shut, letting his head rest against your shoulder. 

Your fingers racked down his back, nails trailing along his spin. He groaned against your skin when he fully filled you to the brim. His hips stayed pressed against yours, giving you a moment to adjust to him. Your hips rocked against his, edging him to move. That was all the convincing Bellamy needed. He slowly withdrew his hips before thrusting back in. 

You moaned his name, pulling his lips to yours.His thrusts increased, slamming inside you to hit that perfect spot buried deep inside. The two of you were nothing but tongues and hands. You nibbled at his jaw, licking across the neck of his skin before sucking. Bellamy’s hands gripped your waist, keeping you in place. Your thighs quivered as you climbed closer and closer to your climax. 

It wouldn’t take you long at the rate he was going. Bellamy rhythmic thrusts started to falter as he grew closer to his own release. He withdrew almost completely from you before thrusting back in. You were seeing stars. It only took that one last thrust to have you nosediving in a pool of ecstasy. Your moans became wanton, trembling beneath his body. 

The layer of sweat between you allowed your bodies to slide against each other. “Come for me, Bell..” You whimpered in his ear. Bellamy crashed his lips to yours as his body went rigid. His cock pulsated inside of you as he road out his climax. The two of you were left panting, trying to relax your frantic heart beats. 

After a heavy sigh, Bellamy pressed kisses all across your face before landing a sweet kiss on your lips. “I’ll be back in a second, okay?” Before you could ask where he was going, Bellamy withdrew from you. You winced and shifted further up the bed until you were leaning against the headboard. The ache between your legs started to settle in. 

Bellamy came back in your room a moment later, a damp wash cloth in his hands. Your cheeks flushed when he helped you clean up. He pulled you arms and tucked the both of you under the covers. You sighed in content, pressing your face into his chest. His scent surrounded you and you loved it. Bellamy’s fingers traced patterns on your back, a sated smile resting on his face. “So am I forgiven now?”

You giggled and pressed tighter against him, placing a small kiss on his chest. “Yes, sir.” Bellamy pressed a kiss to the top of your head, relaxing into your mattress. 

“Get some sleep, princess.” You didn’t need much more convincing than that. Your eyes fluttered shut after murmuring goodnight to him. Sleep took hold of you in an instant. 

When you opened your eyes, it was still dark outside. You brought your hand up and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it was two in the morning. You stretched out your limbs and let out a satisfied sigh. Looking over, you saw Bellamy sleeping on his back with you curled up against his side. 

A harsh buzzing noise made you flinch. Glancing around, you saw a phone flashing on the floor. “Shit…” You muttered and crawled across the bed in attempt to silence the phone, not wanting Bellamy to wake up. 

The phone on the floor was Bellamy’s. You picked it up, trying to shut it off, but you paused. The name flashing on the screen caused your eyebrows to furrow in confusion. Once the call finished, it returned back to his lock screen. There were two missed calls and three text messages all from the same person. 

_“Bellamy, where the hell are you?”_

__

__

“Are you okay?”

_“Call me ASAP.”_

An uneasy feeling settled into the pit of your stomach. Turning the phone on silent, you set the phone back on the floor. You suddenly had the urge to put clothes on, cover yourself up. Slipping from the bed, you put on a t-shirt and another pair of underwear. You bit your lip, looking at the sleeping Bellamy on your bed, debating if you wanted to even lay back down with him. 

It was very well you could’ve been overreacting. But then again, who else calls at two in the damn morning? Rolling your eyes, you settled back into your bed, making sure you clearly slept on your side. You weren’t really in the mood for a cuddle session. It didn’t take long for sleep to come over you again, but there was one lingering question that stuck in your mind. 

Who the hell was Sarah?


	8. Start Something

**Bellamy’s POV**

For a moment, Bellamy woke up confused. The bed he was laying in wasn’t his or the one from Octavia’s place. Then he remembered last night. A small smile tugged onto his lips when images of Y/N flashed through his head. For the first time in a while, Bellamy was starting to feel okay again. 

Stretching outwards, his hand searched the other side of the bed. Instead of finding a warm body, Bellamy found cold sheets. He wiped his hands over his eyes and sat up, drawing his brows together. “Y/N?” Bellamy clutched the sheets to his bare lower half while searching for his clothes. 

Grabbing his boxers, he tugged them up his legs, silently wishing he had some sweatpants. Walking over to the bathroom he peaked inside, again finding an empty room. When Bellamy opened the bedroom door, the sweet smell of bacon hit his nose. Stepping into the kitchen, he saw Y/N standing in front of the stove. She had on a tee shirt that was way too big for her and a tiny pair of shorts that clung to every inch of her. 

“Now this is a sight I could get used to.” He smirked and walked up behind the girl. Bellamy started to wrap an arm around her. As soon as his skin brushed against hers, Y/N stiffened. 

“I’ll uh get some plates okay?” She didn’t look at him, only shimmed out front in front of him and walked over to the other cabinet. His features contorted in confusion. Did she regret what happened last night? 

Bellamy watched as she moved around the room, her muscles were stiff and her face was pinched. Y/N sat a plate down on the bar, motioning for him to sit. “Y/N?” He said her name as a question, but she acted as if she didn’t even hear him. 

Y/N put a stack of bacon and pancakes in front of him. “Do you want coffee? Orange juice?” She walked over to the fridge, not waiting for his answer. 

He inwardly groaned and shook his head. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?” 

She winched slightly at his question and stuffed a piece of bacon in her mouth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about… shit I forgot the syrup.” 

“Y/N stop.” Before she could move away, Bellamy grabbed her wrist and tried to ignore her flinch. “I tried touching you and you flinch, you won’t even look at me, and now you’re avoiding questions. Now what’s wrong?” 

Bellamy watched as she chewed on her bottom lip, the wheels in her head were turning. “Who’s Sarah?” The question hit him like a smack in the face. How did she know about her? No, she definitely didn’t say Sarah. He just misheard her, that’s all. 

“What?” His voice was hushed, loosening the grip on her. 

“I said, who is Sarah?” Her voice was strong this time and she finally made eye contact with him. This time it was Bellamy who wanted to avoid the questions. 

A sigh pushed out of him and he crossed his arms in front of his chest, suddenly focusing on the bacon on his plate. “How do you know Sarah?” 

Y/N’s lips formed in a twisted smirk. “I woke up in the middle of the night and your phone was ringing. Went to shut it off because I didn’t want it waking you. Then I noticed there was multiple different calls and texts. She seems really concerned about you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone, it seemed she was trying to hide something. Hurt? Maybe.

Bellamy shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew he should’ve told Sarah where he was going. He should’ve guessed she was going to do this. “Y/N it’s not what you think.” 

She laughed, but not the cute contagious one she normally had. “You really don’t have to explain anything to me. We never said we were a thing or anything. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I would’ve known about this chick before I slept with you but…” She shrugged and Bellamy’s stomach twisted in a tighter knot. “I don’t want to start something with you if you’re already started with someone else.” 

Bellamy sneered and shook his head, standing from his seat. “Listen to me.” He moved around to stand in front of her. One of his fingers hooked under her chin, making sure she kept her eyes on him. “The situation with Sarah, is not what you think. That night I freaked and left here, I ended up at a bar. A bar which she happened to work at. We’re nothing more than friends. She knows about you, all about our situation. To be honest she thinks I’m an idiot and I should’ve never ignored you.” 

Y/N snorted and nodded her head. “Can’t say she’s wrong.” 

“Last night, as you know I was on the fence if I should meet you or not. I never told her what I was doing and she probably thought I was off on another bender or something.” Bellamy shrugged and dropped his hand to her wrist, gently running his thumb over her soft skin. “I promise you, she’s just a friend.” 

It seemed his answer was enough to make Y/N relax a little, but not completely. “So nothing happened between you guys? Ever?” Her eyebrow arched high at the last question. 

He only had a moment to decide if he should tell Y/N about the kind of kiss or not. Bellamy knew if he wanted to have something with Y/N then that meant having zero secrets between them. He wasn’t going to hide from her, not anymore. “When I showed up at the bar for the first time, I was a mess. She kept feeding me drinks and I don’t know, I was trying to forget what happened. I’m not going to lie, I tried kissing her. But it didn’t feel right, she didn’t feel right. I could only picture you in my head, how I should be kissing you and not her. I apologized to her and my drunken mouth ended up explaining our whole situation to her.” 

Bellamy’s eyes stayed looked on her, trying to judge her reaction to what he said. She didn’t seem mad or even hurt. Y/N simply nodded and offered him a half smile. “Thank you for being honest with me.” 

Every muscle in the man’s body relaxed after that. A breath he didn’t know he was holding escaped his lungs before squeezing the girl tight to him. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, enjoying the feeling of her small arms linked around his back. “I want this to work, I want us to work. In order to do that, I’m an open book to you now.” 

Y/N craned her head back and placed a small kiss on his jaw. “Let’s eat some breakfast okay? The pancakes are gonna get cold.” 

**Reader’s POV**

The rest of breakfast was filled with mostly silence. But it was comfortable. You allowed your legs to hang over Bellamy’s legs as you sat beside him. On occasion he would run a hand up and down your calf, giving it a small squeeze. 

You took advantage of the silence to think about what all he said to you this morning. The whole Sarah situation still made you feel a little uneasy, but you wanted to believe Bellamy. If this thing between the two of you was going to work than you had to start trusting him. 

And God, you wanted this to work so bad. The sight of him walking out of your bedroom in nothing but his boxers, you almost completely forgot about the findings on his phone. Between his bedhead and deep, gravely morning voice, all you wanted to do was jump his bones and have him take you against the counter.

“You okay with that?” The sudden realization that he was talking to you made you jump. You blushed slightly at being caught so deep in thought. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

Bellamy laughed before sliding off the stool, picking up both of the now empty plates. “I said, how about you get ready for the day. I’ll come back in about an hour to pick you up and we can spend the day together.” 

You eyes widened slightly at his request, taking the last sip of orange juice from your glass. “Yeah, that sounds really good actually.” You beamed over at him before walking over to stand beside him. “You know I can load my own dishwasher right?” 

He rolled his eyes and continued his task. “Just let me help, okay?”

You sighed but deemed it best not to argue with him. “So where were you thinking of going?”

Bellamy smirked and closed the washer, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” 

Not long after that, Bellamy got dressed and left your apartment, promising to be back in an hour. You rushed off to the shower to get ready. Your cheeks flushed when you looked in the mirror. There were slight outlines of Bellamy’s fingers splayed across your hips, a small love bite below your collar bone. 

Exactly an hour after Bellamy left, there was a knock on your door. “Come in!” You yelled out from your bathroom, hoping he could hear. You were still in the process of getting ready. Bellamy came into view in the mirror behind you, a smirk plastered on his lips. 

“Don’t you look pretty.” He stepped behind you, moving your wet hair to the side to place a small kiss on your shoulder. You laughed, shaking your head. There was nothing different between how you looked now and any other day. Just shorts and a tee shirt covered your frame. 

Your elbow nudged him to move away from you slightly, allowing you to slip from him and back into your room. Balancing on one foot, you tugged on a pair of sandals. “You gonna tell me where we’re goin yet?”

His broad torso almost covered your entire doorway, leaning his shoulder against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his muscles. “Where would the fun in that be?”

The two of you sat inside of Bellamy’s Rover, trying your best to figure out where he was taking you. Your heart thudded against your ribs when you pulled into a bar a ways out of town. “Bellamy what are we doing here?” You weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer to that. 

He turned the ignition off and started opening his door. “This is the bar where I met Sarah. I know you still have a little bit of doubt about her, so you’re going to meet her.” He smirked before stepping out of the car, you following quickly behind. 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea.” Your nerves had your hands twitching, chewing on your bottom lip. 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and threw an arm over your shoulder. “I swear everything is fine. She’s been wanting to meet you. After this all the fun stuff will start, I promise.” He gave you a quick squeeze and opened the door of the bar. 

The smell of smoke and alcohol filled your nose, stinging slightly. Rock music pounded against your ear drums, luckily low enough for people to still talk. Bellamy took your hand, leading you behind him. For it being the middle of the day, there sure were a good amount of people in here. 

The two of you eventually found yourselves against the bar. You glanced around taking in the view until you heard a yell from behind you. “Bellamy Blake!” Both you and Bellamy turned your heads towards the other side of the bar. A girl with dirty blonde hair and too much eyeliner on came marching towards you. “I have been trying to get aho-” 

When the two of you made eye contact, the girl stopped whatever rant she was about to start. Her eyes glanced between your face and Bellamy’s. He chuckled and squeezed you against his side. “Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Sarah.” You didn’t have to look up at him to know he was smiling, you could hear it in his voice. 

She gasped and quickly made her way around the end of the bar and up to you. Sarah’s arms wrapped you in a hug, squeezing the air out of your lungs. Your muscles went rigid as you awkwardly stood in her embrace. Thankfully, she let go pretty soon. “It’s so nice to meet you! I swear this boy never stops running his mouth about you. I’m glad he finally came to his senses about you.” 

Bellamy’s laugh rang out behind you. “Alright Sarah, that’s enough. It looks like you scared her half to death.” 

The woman reached out and smacked Bellamy hard in the bicep. “That! Is for not answering my calls, jackass. Thought you were passed out somewhere drunk.”

“Actually he was just passed out at my place.” You were surprised by the amount of confidence you had in your voice. The smile on Sarah’s lips grew when she finally put two and two together. 

“I mean it’s about time honestly. C’mon, lets go sit down and I’ll get us some drinks.” 

The three of you sat down with each other for about an hour. You liked Sarah more than you thought you would. Sure she was a little over the top, but she was nice none the less. She actually wanted you and Bellamy to work out. 

Bellamy took a sip of his beer before excusing himself to the restroom. Your eyes lingered on his back, marveling at the way his muscles flexed with every move he made. “You’re a lucky girl, you know that right?” Sarah’s voice pulled you from whatever perverted thought you were about to make.

Turning to her, you shook your head. “What do you mean?”

Sarah laughed and rested her elbows on the table, leaning in closer towards you. Her eyes glanced back at the direction Bellamy had just went before looking back at you. “I’d kill to have a guy look at me the way he looks at you. You can’t tell me you don’t notice it.” She arched an eyebrow at you.

A blush covered your cheeks, shaking your head. “We like each other. I was there for him when he let me.” You wished he would’ve let you help through everything, but these were Bellamy’s problems. He had to take this at his own pace.

“Oh please. Honey that boy is beyond head over heels for you.” Sarah rolled her eyes when it seemed her words weren’t sticking with you. “Bellamy loves you, Y/N! He may not even be fully aware of it. But trust me. All he could do was talk about you, how beautiful you were, how you made his heart skip a beat when you looked at him..”

Her voice trailed off at the end. You were chewing your bottom lip in thought, fiddling with your hands. “Then why did he leave?” You voice was nothing more than a whisper. For a moment, you doubted she even heard you over the music through the speakers.

A sigh left Sarah before she took a long swig of whatever was in her glass. “As you probably know, he’s been through some shit. He doesn’t think he deserves you.”

You want to say something back to her, but your mind just went blank. How could he think he didn’t deserve you? Before either of you could say anything else, there was a warm hand covering your shoulder. “Hey, you ready to get going?”

Turning your head, you smiles up at Bellamy before nodding. You hopped off the stool, sending a kind glance the girls way. “It was really nice meeting you Sarah.”

“I hope to see you again soon. Make sure you keep this one under control.” She sent a wink your way before patting Bellamy’s shoulder. “Don’t lose this one.” Without another word, Sarah collected your empty glasses and walked back to her spot behind the bar.

“Ready for some fun?” Bellamy smirked down at you.

**Bellamy’s POV**

It didn’t matter what she was doing, Y/N always seemed to look gorgeous. Even back at the bar, her damn smile was the brightest thing in the room. Now they were back in his Rover, heading towards the next destination. Y/N was in the passenger seat, singing along to the cheesy song playing on the radio.

Bellamy’s heart was pounding in his chest, the smile on his lips didn’t seem to disappear. This was what he wanted. He wanted her beside him, all the time, that big smile on her face. He wanted to be the one that made her smile like that.

“We’re going to the aquarium?!” Y/N’s smile grew incredibly wider. Her eyes beamed over at him, making his heart swell.

“I just thought it would be a fun place for us to go.” Bellamy shrugged and slipped out from the front seat.

There was a blue hue that circled around the two of them, the soft light highlighted the gentle features of Y/N’s face. He stood behind her, keeping his chest against her back. “Did you see that one?!” Y/N outstretched a pointed finger. Bellamy shifted his eyes, landing his gaze on one of the bigger sharks in the aquarium.

He let out a laugh and nodded his head. “Wonder if he bites…” Bellamy leaned down and murmured in her ear before his fingers tickled her sides. Y/N giggled and jumped out from in front of him, giving him a nasty look.

This day had to be one of the best days of Bellamy’s life. After the aquarium, the two grabbed some lunch. For the last thing, he took Y/N to a park. Bellamy made sure to take a picture of her while she was smelling a bunch of flowers. He wanted to engrave this entire day in his head. It was perfect. She was perfect.

But all good things eventually come to an end, the sun started to set and it was time for the two of them to head home. Glancing over at his passenger seat, Y/N had her head leaned against the window, eyes shut. He reached a hand over and gently squeezed her thigh. 

Bellamy wasn’t sure how she managed to make such an impact on his life in such a short amount of time. The thought of being without her again made his stomach churn. He knew he would do anything to keep her.

Pulling up to her apartment complex, Bellamy took a moment to just stare at her. He tried to soak in as much as her as he could. Her round cheeks, long lashes, plush lips. There was a buzzing in his pocket that forced him to break is train of thought.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Bellamy saw that he had a few missed text messages. One from Sarah, a few from his sister, but it was the most recent one that caused his heart to drop. It was one simple text message, but he knew what it would ultimately mean.

_Commander Jaha: Meeting tomorrow 7am @ base_


	9. Don't Say it

**Bellamy’s POV**

The blasting sound of his alarm jerked Bellamy from his sleep. His body jolted awake, sitting upright. Glancing at his phone he let out a groan. 6:00AM. You would think he would be used to getting up this early, but being home spoiled him. Bellamy was used to his own bed, waking and sleeping whenever he wanted. 

Bellamy sent Y/N a quick good morning text and told her to have a good day at work. He rolled out of bed, trudging over to his bathroom, eventually landing in the shower. The hot water eased the tense muscle of his shoulder. It was healed at this point, but sleeping on it still made it stiff. The thought of his meeting later was enough to tense his whole body again. He didn’t want to hear the words. It made it too real. 

When he stepped out of the shower it was 6:15. He had fifteen minutes before he had to leave. After he was dressed, Bellamy made his way to his Rover and headed towards the highway. He made it there in a matter of minutes, the morning rush didn’t kick in yet. 

The large building seemed daunting in front of him. He wasn’t sure why this time his stomach twisted when he walked through the doors. He walked through them countless of times, but this time was different. The cool air whipped around him as he opened the door. A stern looking secretary was sitting behind a desk, not even taking a second to glance in his direction. 

Bellamy cleared his throat, gaining her attention. “Blake, here to see Jaha.” She raised a penciled on eyebrow and typed a few things on her computer. 

“Down the hall, third door on the right.” Bellamy muttered a thanks and followed down the hallway she pointed to. He stood in front of the door, taking a few moments to stare at the door knob. Letting out a deep breath, his heavy fist knocked against the wood of the door. 

“Come in.” The sound of Jaha’s voice instantly made his posture change. Back straight, shoulders square. Bellamy’s hand gripped the knob and turned, opening the door. Jaha sat at a desk, glasses situated on his nose, staring at a computer screen in front of him. “Ah, Bellamy. Please, come in and have a seat.” 

He nodded and shut the door, sitting in the small chair opposite of his commander. “Is there something you needed sir?” 

Jaha just gave him a small smile and shifted his gaze over to Bellamy’s shoulder. “How is your shoulder doing, Bellamy? I’ve been in touch with your PT. They said you’ve improved greatly… that you’re basically back to normal.” 

Bellamy’s jaw clenched a little but again, nodded. “Still gets a little stiff. But it’s a lot better.” 

“Good, good. Were you able to get some time with your sister? Or how about that mystery woman who you loved sending letters too?” He raised an eyebrow and closed the top of his laptop, relaxing back in his big leather chair. 

“I don’t mean to be rude, but can we skip the small talk? Why did you ask me here?” His voice was tight, he wasn’t in the mood to discuss Y/N. 

Jaha release a sigh. “You always were all business with no play. That’s why you’re one of the best men we got out.” He shifted in his chair, leaning his elbows upon his desk. “You were released to come home because of your injury, Bellamy. That injury is now healed. I can give you a little more time, but you can’t fight the inevitable.” 

Bellamy’s body was stiff again, this time a hot shower wasn’t going to fix it. “And what exactly is the inevitable?” He knew what it was, but he needed Jaha to say it. He needed exact confirmation. 

“You’re getting deployed again, Bellamy. Not just over to California, but overseas. When your team was injured, we put the entire mission on hold. But it’s time to finish what we started.” Jaha didn’t break eye contact with him the whole time. 

The words made his heart hurt more than he thought they would. Things were just getting back to normal, he had Y/N now. “When do I have to leave?” 

“You have two weeks, Bellamy. Fourteen days.” That wasn’t enough time. 

“How long will I be gone?” There was a look on Jaha’s face that made Bellamy want to throw up. 

“We don’t know.” 

He walked out of that office, out of that building, and sat in his vehicle. For a moment, he numbly stared at the windshield ahead of him. Bellamy thought saying goodbye to his sister was hard, he didn’t even want to imagine saying goodbye to Y/N. 

“Fuck!” Bellamy’s fist smashed against his steering wheel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” His voice roared as he repeatedly pounded against his dash, stopping only when he heard a small crack. Bellamy winced a little when he noticed the air vent was shattered. 

Pulling his phone from his wallet, Bellamy saw he had a few messages. Two from Y/N, one from his sister. As much as his heart was telling him to answer Y/N, he couldn’t. Not right now. He didn’t even tell her about this morning. 

It was 8:00 now. Octavia would be at work by the time he made it to her office building, the building that was right across from where Y/N worked. 

Bellamy pulled in a spot right beside O’s car. He didn’t talk to anyone when he walked in, ignoring the questions if he needed any help or not. The elevator beeped when he reached the floor that her office was on. He placed a soft knock on her door before opening it. 

She was talking to the little bluetooth device sitting in her hear, rapidly typing on the keyboard in front of her. When her eyes locked on her brother, she smiled widely. For a moment Bellamy was able to smile and actually mean it. “I’m sorry, Mr. Davis I actually have to go. I’ll get that form over to you within the hour… yes. Okay sir, thank you.” Octavia took the device from her ear and turned her full attention towards him. “What’s up, brother? You kinda look like shit.” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and plopped down on the chair in front of her desk. “I had a meeting this morning with Jaha.” All lightness in his voice was gone, just like the happy smile dropped from Octavia’s face. 

“Oh…” She trailed off and swallowed hard. “What exactly did he want?” He wasn’t sure why she even asked, there was only one reason as to why Jaha had asked to meet.

“I’m getting deployed again.” Bellamy couldn’t look at his sister. He didn’t want to see the disappointment form across her face. 

He heard O take in a shaky breath before pinching the bridge of her nose. “They don’t really waste any time do they? You just now stopped going to physical therapy.” Bellamy shrugged.”How long do you have?”

“Two weeks.” 

There was a long pause, the air was tense between the two siblings. “Did you tell Y/N? yet?” 

The sound of her nose made Bellamy scoff and shake his head. “I came straight here. I don’t even know how to tell her.” 

“What do you mean? Tell her like you told me. You guys are becoming good again, don’t shut her out again. I’m still mad at you for doing that to her, yanno?” There was a hint of sneer in her voice at the last sentence. 

“I don’t want to leave her, O. She deserves someone who can be here for her, not disappear every other month.” Bellamy’s jaw ticked. 

Octavia reached across her desk and smacked him in the arm. “Can you stop self loathing for five seconds and look at the bigger picture? Is Y/N going to be upset that you’re leaving? Yes. Is she going to miss you? Yes. Is she going to forget about you? No! Is she going to stop loving you? No! So grow a pair and tell her the truth!” 

Bellamy knew everything his sister was true, but his stubborn skull was too thick for him to listen. “She doesn’t love me.” 

O rolled her eyes. “Yeah, she doesn’t love you just like you don’t love her, right?” She raised an eyebrow, expecting an answer. When Bellamy didn’t give her one, that’s when her lips turned into a smirk. “Exactly.” 

Bellamy sighed and shifted in the seat, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’ll tell her, soon.” 

His sister shook her head. “No, Bell. You need to tell her as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be. Don’t hide shit. Do you even know where you’re being sent?” 

He shrugged. “Somewhere over seas. All I was told.” Bellamy stood and shifted awkwardly on his feet. “I’m gonna get going, O. Figure out a way to spill the can of worms.” He leaned across the desk and kissed the top of Octavia’s head. “Love you little sis.” 

“I think there’s someone else you should be saying that to. Now get outta my office!” 

Bellamy spent the rest of the day getting his apartment ready. He told Y/N that he wanted to have a really nice evening just the two of them. Bellamy was going to wine and dine, then shatter the evening with his recent news. 

Y/N seemed excited about tonight, repeatedly texting him and asking him for hints about tonight. Bellamy didn’t tell her anything, just show up. She said she got off of work at four and that she could be at his place by six. 

He didn’t know why he was so nervous for her to come over. Then again, she’s never really been inside his place for more than a couple minutes. He probably swept and dusted about three times before deciding it was clean enough. 

Around 5:30, Bellamy decided he should start making dinner. He was making the meal they should’ve eaten the night he flipped out. Bellamy hummed along to the rock song playing from his speaker. He had a towel flipped over his shoulder, tongs in one hand, spoon in the other. 

At exactly six, a soft knock came from his door. “Come in!” 

A smile crept onto his face when he heard his front door open, followed by some footsteps. “Honey, I’m home!” Y/N’s voice was like music to his damn ears. Putting the utensils down, Bellamy turned around, taking in the sight in front of him. “What’s cookin, good lookin?” 

Y/N walked over beside him, a smile brightening up her eyes. Bellamy’s heart thudded just by looking at her. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Little bit of pasta, little bit of steak.” He shrugged and stirred the sauce in the one pot. 

“Mmm, looks good.” Y/N smiled and offered him a little hug, shifting the duffel in her hands. 

“You planning on spending the night?” The blush on her cheeks was probably the cutest thing he’s ever seen. 

“I’m sorry. I meant to ask, but, I just figured…” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and smiled wider at her. “Of course you can spend the night princess, go put your bag in my room okay?” He watched as Y/N nodded and headed back his hall. Tonight was going to be a good night. He had to make it a good night, for her. 

The two ate dinner, shared how their days went. Bellamy obviously left a key moment out of his morning. He enjoyed listening to Y/N talk, going on about her work day and how some people had no common decency. 

Every time Bellamy thought it was the right time to tell her, the smile on her face stopped him. She just looked too damn happy. Who was he to ruin that? 

Now they were sitting on the couch, Y/N was pressed against his side, nuzzling into his shoulder. Bellamy’s fingers traced lines up and down her bare arm, smirking when he noticed goosebumps rise on her skin. The girl in his arms was definitely more interesting than whatever movie was on his TV. 

After taking a few deep breaths, Bellamy realized it was now or never. He squeezed her tighter against him. “You know I’d never hurt you again, right?” His voice was so hushed he wasn’t even sure she heard him. 

Y/N lifted her head and looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “Of course. Bell, what’s wrong? You look kind of pale.” 

His nickname falling from her lips made his heart flutter, he almost smiled. Almost. “I, uh… I had a meeting this morning… with my Commander.” 

Bellamy couldn’t look at her as she sat up, pulling herself from his arms, instantly missing her warmth. Instantly regretting even opening his mouth. “What did he want?” Her voice was a little more shaky. He could tell she was confused, nervous. He paused a moment too long, Y/N’s hand reached out and gripped his arm. “Bell?” 

A heavy sigh escaped his chest. “You know, I was only able to come because of the damage to my arm, right?” He finally glanced at Y/N, watching as she nodded. “Well, my arm is healed now an-” Bellamy stopped talking when he watched the realization of the situation dawn on her. Y/N let out a small gasp and her grip suddenly increased. 

She shook her head, her eyes turning glassy. “No… no you still get stiff some times. You, you wince some times when you stretch too far. You’re not he-”

“Y/N please. You know I’m helluva lot better than what I was. It’s in the contract, babe.” He tried not to let his emotions come through in his voice, but the look on her face was slowly breaking him. 

Y/N bit her bottom lip, but he was still able to see it trembling. Bellamy wished their was something he could say to make things better, but their wasn’t. “When do you leave?” Her voice was hushed, no longer was she looking at his face but instead at her hand on his arm. 

“Two weeks.” Y/N scoffed at his answer and dropped her hand from him. He wanted to reach out, wrap her in his arm and kiss her till she forgot all about this. 

“How long will you be gone?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Where are you going?” Her voice was a little more annoyed this time. 

All Bellamy could do was sigh. “I don’t know.” 

“What are you going to be doing over there?” God, why did she have to sound so angry?

“I don’t know.”

“What do you know then?!” Y/N snapped at him, her eyes lifted and blazed into his. “Huh?!”

Bellamy winced as her voice got louder, each octave she rose his throat constricted. “Y/N, can I ju-”

“No! You don’t know anything, which means I don’t get to know anything! I just got you back, we’re finally good! And now you’re going to leave? I don’t even know when I’ll see you again!” She didn’t hold back the tremble in her voice anymore, it wavered as her emotions grew.

It was Bellamy’s turn to get frustrated. “I will always come back to you.” 

“How do you know? Huh? You seem like you don’t know jack shit but somehow you magically know this?!” Her eyes were pooling with tears that were threatening to overflow. 

Bellamy’s heart pounded in his chest, the blood flowing in his ears was deafening. His fists clenched at his sides, jaw ticking. He was pissed, she was still throwing questions at him, questions that he wasn’t able to answer. 

“Y/N enough!” He didn’t think he’d ever raise his voice that loud at her. A tang of regret hit him as he watched her flinch, but it wasn’t enough to make him stop. “I don’t know a lot of things, alright?! I’m sorry but I don’t. And there’s nothing you and I can do about it. But what I do know is that my time with you has been the happiest damn weeks of my life. I know that leaving you again is going to hurt like a bitch. I know not being able to see you smile, hear you laugh, touch you, is going to be worse than whatever hell I’m going through over there. I know that I have to leave you and that I lov-” 

“NO!” Her voice boomed over his, stopping his rant mid sentence. The tears in her eyes finally broke free as they poured down her cheeks. “Don’t you dare tell me you love me. Who gives you the right to tell me you love me then leave?! I don’t want to hear it knowing in a few days it could be months before I hear it again. That would just be another damn thing to add to list of things I’m going to miss. So don’t you dare say it, Bellamy Blake.” 

Her words were his undoing. He didn’t even realize he was holding back any tears till he felt them sting his cheeks. Bellamy didn’t know what to say, he just reached out and wrapped his arms around her shaking frame. She fought him at first, pushing her balled fists against his chest before collapsing against him. He kept his lips pressed to the top of her head, rubbing a comforting hand across her back. “Shh, princess. You gotta breathe.” 

Y/N’s head lifted up, black mascara smudged under her eyes, her cheeks red and splotchy. Even then she looked beautiful to him. “You’ll come home. Soon.” She nodded to herself more than to him. Y/N wasn’t asking, she was telling. 

Bellamy nodded and pressed a small kiss against her soft lips. His hands ran along her hair, keeping his forehead pressed to hers. “I’ll come home, baby. Can’t leave you…” Bellamy’s voice was nothing more than murmur as he pecked her lips again. His heart fluttered when he felt her kiss back. 

“Tell me when you get home.” She whispered against his lips, nipping at his bottom lip. Bellamy’s hands cupped her face, keeping their lips pressed together. Y/N swung her leg over top of his, sitting in his lap. It was hard to keep back the groan that was building in his chest. 

They were both messes. There was a salty taste on his tongue, he couldn’t tell if it was his tears or hers. What he said earlier was true. He didn’t know a lot of things. But he knew he loved this girl. And he knew damn sure he was going to make it home to her.


	10. Bye For Now

**_13 Days_ **

You woke up the next morning being pinned down against your mattress. Bellamy’s arm wrapped around your waist, face pressed against the back of your shoulder, legs tangled together. He was heavy, but you didn’t mind. Every place his skin touched yours, tingles ran through your body. 

Smiling, you rolled over to face him. Bellamy groaned and squeezed you tighter to him. “Bell…” You murmured before placing a small kiss on the tip of his nose. He stirred slightly but not waking up. “Come on, Bell.. get up.” A small giggle escaped your lips before you kissed his lips. 

This time he woke up. His eyes fluttered open before a lazy smile formed on his lips. “Mmm, good morning, beautiful.” One of Bellamy’s hands left your waist to cup your cheek, pressing his lips tightly against yours. There was no way you could say goodbye to this. 

**_12 Days_ **

“I don’t know why we don’t eat out more often…” You muttered before biting into your burger. 

Bellamy chuckled before taking a big swig of his soda. “I don’t either, every time we cook some shit ends up going down.” He reached his hand across the table and grabbed yours, interlacing your fingers. “What do you wanna do after this?” 

A blush came across your cheeks. “I’m good as long as I’m with you.” 

**_11 Days_ **

Bellamy held the door open for you as you walked out of the theater. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about. The movie was amazing!” You gushed to him as you walked outside, popping a left over piece of popcorn in your mouth. 

“You only liked it because John what’s his face was in it…” His nose crinkled at the mention of his name, making you giggle. “Despite your love for the main character, it wasn’t a bad movie.” 

Rolling your eyes, you sat down in the passenger seat. “That’s the only praise you’re gonna give it?” You laughed and buckled up. “Fine, you can pick the movie next time.” 

After the words left your lips you instantly regretted it, knowing good and well there may not be a next time. Bellamy reached over and gripped your hand, rubbing his thumb over your skin. The rest of the ride was silent. 

**_10 Days_ **

“How’d you meeting with Jaha go?” You raised an eyebrow at him, fiddling with the fork in your hand. 

Bellamy let out a sigh and shook his head. “It’s just the same as always, Y/N. Just checking in. making sure things are still good to go.” He didn’t make eye contact with you, seeming to only be able to focus on the coffee inside his cup. 

“Do you know what time you leave, yet?” You chewed on your bottom lip. 

“Noon.”

**_9 Days_ **

You glanced between the different outfits on your laid out on you bed, unable to decide which one was the best. It was just dinner, there was no reason for it to be this hard to get ready. After another five minutes passed, you settled on a maroon cocktail dress. 

Once you were satisfied with your outfit, you went to the bathroom to finish up. Bellamy walked in behind you, placing his hands on your waist. You smirked at him in the mirror before continuing to apply your lipstick. “Can I help you?” 

“Mmm, maybe.” He pressed his hips a little tighter against you, pinning you against the counter. One of his hands moved your hair to one side, exposing your shoulder. Bellamy’s head dipped down, placing a small trail of kisses across your shoulder and up your neck. “You’re beautiful.” 

The deep rumble of his chest sent a chill straight down your spine. You let out a sigh and tilted your head to the side. “If you keep going we’re going to be late, Octavia and Raven are waiting.” 

**_8 Days_ **

“Bell stop!” You squealed when he hauled you over this shoulder. Bellamy chuckled and squeezed your legs, holding them against his chest. Despite your protests, he didn’t stop walking down the sand. 

“C’mon princess, little water never hurt.” He lifted his hand and gave your ass a small swat, making you giggle even louder. “God, I love that sound…” When the water reached about his waist, Bellamy slowly began to lower you. 

The cool water nipped at your toes and worked its way up your legs the more Bell set you down. Soon your feet were planted against the ocean floor. His hands never left you, sliding up and down your sides. You weren’t sure what made you shiver more, his touch or the water. 

You looked up at him in awe. His tanned skin darkened, freckles deepened, small burn covering his nose, salty air making his hair a little extra curly. He said some comment about you staring but it didn’t register. You wanted to engrave this image in your mind forever. 

**_7 Days_ **

One week. That’s all you had left with him. Neither of you really discussed the topic of him leaving. You both knew it was coming, but no one wanted to address it. The thought of saying goodbye to him almost made you sick to your stomach. 

Bellamy was making it his personal goal to make his last two weeks with you the best two weeks ever. And it was the best time of you life. He kept you laughing until your ribs hurt, smiling until you cheeks grew sore, moaning until you felt breathless. 

It was all good, so so good. But Bellamy didn’t know about you crying after he went to sleep. How you would squeeze your eyes shut and cling to his arm as if it was somehow going to change the future. Maybe if you got it all out now you wouldn’t cry on the day he left. 

**_6 Days_ **

The closer Bellamy’s departure day became, the more his presence was needed at the base. Jaha was in almost constant contact with him. But he never got more information, only that he was to complete his previous mission. The mission that almost got him killed. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bellamy’s voice almost made you jump. Turning you head, you saw him stepping out of the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen, standing on the opposite side of the island from you. 

You shrugged offering him whatever smile you could muster. “Nothing much, not really feeling like going to work later.” Bellamy tilted his head and grabbed the coffee pot, refilling the mug in front of you. 

“You love working there. Why don’t you wanna go?”

“Rather spend my time elsewhere.”

**_5 Days_ **

You work was going by slower than usual. It was funny how time worked like that. When you want it to slow down it goes faster than you can even imagine. But the second you want it to hurry up, Father Time decides to take his sweet old time. 

‘How’re doing?” Octavia offered you a small smile before biting into the muffin in her hand. 

You sighed but shrugged, trying to make yourself seem calmer than you really were. “It just doesn’t feel real, so my brain doesn’t really know how to react yet. I’m sure once we get to the airport I’ll be a mess.” Octavia let out a laugh and nodded. “How do you do it, O?”

It was her turn to shrug. “It’s hard. Easier now than before but, I don’t know. You learn to cope with it. There’s nothing you can do besides pray that he makes it back home to you.”

**_4 Days_ **

“You’re still gonna write me, right?” You didn’t know why the question suddenly came flying from your lips. The two of you weren’t even discussing him leaving, you were just sitting on the couch scrolling through the channels. 

Bellamy looked at you as if you smacked him across the face. “What kind of question is that? Of course I’m going to write you. If given the chance I’m calling you.” His hand went under your chin, lifting your head until you were looking at him. 

You nodded and snuggled closer against his side. “But you also need to know that it may take a few days until I’m able to get ahold of you. I don’t know where I’m going but sometimes it can take a couple days to get to where I’m supposed to be.” His arm wrapped tightly around you, kissing the top of your head. “So don’t go getting all worried about me the second I step on that plane.” 

**_3 Days_ **

Time was going by too fast. Days felt like a few hours, hours felt like a few minutes. No matter how hard you tried to make the time drag on, it only seemed to speed up. 

**_2 Days_ **

The day after tomorrow Bellamy would be on a plane, heading to God knows where to do God knows what. 

**_1 Day_ **

This was you last full day with him. By this time tomorrow, you would be on your way to the airport, watching him fly off on some plane. Once again that time thing kicked in. This last full day flew by, you barely remembered Bellamy waking you up, insisting that the two of you stay locked up in the bedroom all day. It was a good idea at first until the two of you started to get hungry. 

Before you were ready, the sun started to set. Every minute passing by the sky got darker, your time with him growing shorter and shorter. You and Bellamy were on the couch when your eyes started to flutter shut. Every fiber of your being was screaming at you to stay awake, that you can sleep when he’s gone. But it was no use. Bellamy scooped you up in his arms and tucked you into bed. His lips pressed against your forehead, lingering a little longer than usual. “Get some sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

**_Time’s Up_ **

“Y/N.” You were still dreaming. “Babe..” It wasn’t time to wake up yet. You heard a groan escape your chest. “C’mon, princess. Rise and shine.” A heavy hand rested along your stomach, rubbing soft circles. 

A scowl formed onto your features when you slowly opened your eyes. A large figure was hovered beside you. Blinking a few times that face you’ve grown to love came into focus. For a moment you smiled at him, but the realization of what today was quickly drained all happiness from you. 

Bellamy pouted when looking at you, letting the pad of his thumb trace over your bottom lip. “Don’t look at me like that, Y/N. Please.” You rolled your eyes and flung your arm and leg over him, nuzzling into his chest. 

“It’s not fair.” You grumbled like a child, practically throwing a temper tantrum at him. Bellamy scoffed and squeezed you to him. 

“I promise, it’ll be fine babe. You have Octavia, you have Raven. I’ll be home in no time, okay? You won’t even realize I’m gone.” He pushed you away slightly to smile down at him. His hand brushed your bedhead out of your face. “Go get a shower, I’ll start breakfast.” With one final kiss, Bellamy jumped from the bed and walked out of the room. 

Maybe he was right, sure you would miss him like crazy, but maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you think. You have his sister, your best friend, work, school, you’ll keep yourself occupied. You’ll have to. 

Eventually you made your way out of the bed and into the bathroom. The sound of Bellamy humming from the kitchen brought a smile on your lips. You turned on the shower and stripped of whatever clothing was left on your body from the night before. The hot water pounding against your skin felt so good, for a moment you forgot bout what was happening around you. 

20 minutes later, you were out of the shower and walking into the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and bacon filled your nose. “Mmm, smells good.” Bellamy smiled at you from over his shoulder. You feet padded against the floor, hugging the robe a little tighter around you. 

“Gotta make my favorite breakfast for my favorite girl.” He sent a wink your way before settling a large plate of bacon in front of you. His eyes traveled up and down your figure before you sat down on the stool. “Although I gotta say, you’re looking more appetizing right now than those pancakes.” He smirked at you while your rolled your eyes, 

“Oh please, pass me the syrup, Casanova.” When Bellamy turned his back towards you, you glanced at the clock on the stove. 10:17. Your jaw clenched, pissed at yourself for sleeping in that long. The two of you had a little over an hour before you had to leave. You were supposed to pick up Octavia on the way there. A part of you felt bad for taking up all of Bellamy’s time, but she insisted that you take all that you need. This wasn’t her first time around. 

The two of you didn’t really talk as you ate, simply enjoying having each other’s company. But reality hit again and you were forced you go back into the bedroom and get dressed. Thankfully you had moved some clothes into Bellamy’s apartment. His duffel bag was sitting beside his dresser, all packed and ready to go. Just the sight of it made your heart skip a beat. This was going to be a long day. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” Bellamy’s voice rang out from the bedroom. He walked out seconds later with his large duffel thrown over his shoulder. A green tee hugged his torso, tan cargo pants covered his legs, combat boots on his feet. Damn him for looking so good. When you didn’t respond, Bellamy simply walked over to you and held out his hand. You took it with no question, squeezing his fingers for dear life. “C’mon, Y/N.” 

Reluctantly you nodded and stood, finding your feet carrying you out the door and down to his Rover. The only time Bellamy took his hand off of you was to get in the driver seat. Other than that, he kept his hand interlocked with yours, much to your liking. 

There was nothing you could think to say. Actually there was a lot you wanted to say, but none of it seemed to form into coherent thoughts. It was a short drive to Octavia’s. After a quick text, she exited the building two minutes later. 

She had a soft smile on her face but it didn’t really reach her eyes. O climbed in the backseat, smiling at her brother in the front seat. “Hey Bell… Y/N.” 

Bellamy turned his head and smiled at his sister. “Don’t look so sad, O. Not our first rodeo.” She nodded and relaxed back in the seat, resting her head against the head rest. 

The rest of the ride was silent. Tense. Bellamy would try to lighten the mood but to no avail. Twenty minutes later you were pulling up into the airport. Bellamy jumped out of the car, quickly followed by Octavia. He grabbed his bag from the back and opened the passenger door for you, but you were still frozen in your seat. 

A sad smile came upon his lips, wrapping his arm around you and helping you slide from the seat. “It’s time princess.” His voice was rougher than it was before. Octavia placed a supportive hand on your shoulder while you walked hand in hand inside the airport. You could see how good she was at keeping a mask on to cover her emotions. For a moment you wonder just how many times she’s been through this. 

The airport was packed. People were rushing around everywhere, trying to figure out what line they needed to go in. You weren’t allowed to go the whole way in, seeing as you didn’t have a ticket you weren’t even allowed pass security. 

Bellamy checked his bag in and walked back over to where you and his sister were standing, checking the watch on his wrist. “If I’m gonna make it on time I gotta go get in line.” He went to Octavia first. She engulfed him in a hug and for the first time today you saw tears run down the girls cheeks. And here she was supposed to be the strong one. They shared a few words before Bellamy pulled away, kissing Octavia on the cheek. 

“I’ll uh, give you two a minute. I’ll be by the exit door, okay?” She nodded at you before stepping away, trying to recompose herself. 

Looking back at Bellamy, all the damns you built up came crashing down. You chest heaved with a sob as he wrapped his arms around you. You knew you were soaking his shirt, but you didn’t care. Nothing else mattered besides the fact that he was leaving. “I can’t leave you like this, Y/N please. You need to calm down.” Your eyes squeezed shut, clinging onto him a few moments longer. 

“Please, don’t go.” The plea was nothing more than a whisper. Pulling back you saw Bellamy’s tears were just as wet as yours. 

His hands moved up to cup your face, wiping away any tear that dared to run down your cheeks. “I have too. But I promised you, I’m coming home. I’m coming home to you and we can pick up right were we left off okay? Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. You mean too damn much to me.” Bellamy pressed his lips to the top of your head, inhaling deeply. “This isn’t forever, princess. It’s only bye for now.” 

You nodded your head, trying to convince yourself that you were okay. But the second he tried stepping back, you fists dug deeper into his shirt. His eyes pleaded with you not to make this any harder, but you were too damn stubborn. Bellamy scooped your lips up in a kiss, making all the tension melt from your body. It was a thought deafening kiss, a goodbye kiss. 

It didn’t last as long as it should have. By the time you opened your eyes again his back was already turned towards you. With each step you felt your heart get torn further and further out of your chest. Your lungs burned, eyes stung, why did this have to hurt so damn bad? 

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, but it was long enough for Octavia to come back inside to check on you. A blank look on your face, eyes bloodshot, face splotched with red.Her arm wrapped around your shoulder, causing you to flinch. Instead of pulling back she only hugged you tighter. “Come on, it’s okay… It’s okay.” Her hand rubbed up and down your arm as she ushered you back to Bellamy’s vehicle. 

You didn’t even remember walking outside let alone getting in the vehicle. But here you were, in the passenger seat staring at the runway. A dull ache formed in your chest and you began to wonder if it was ever going to fade. 

“Shit, I almost forgot.” Octavia muttered to herself and pulled her purse from the backseat, rummaging through it. You peeled your eyes from the tar-mat to look over at her, furrowing your eyebrows. “He wanted me to give this to you after he left.” 

Looking down at the object in her hand, you smiled. You eyes filled with tears again as Octavia gently sat it in your lap. Her hand squeezed yours before giving you a loving smile. Looking in your lap, the tears started down your face again. 

A single white envelope with your name scribbled on the front.


	11. All Alone

Alone. There wasn’t another word to describe what you were experiencing. You had work and school but at the end of the day, you were still alone. It was unclear to you how this was your normal before Bellamy. The silence of in your apartment used to be relaxing, now it just made you uneasy. He changed everything and now he’s gone. 

Octavia tried talking to you on the way home, but words escaped you. When she dropped you off, she told you to call if you needed anything. You promised you would even though you wouldn’t. She’s going through this too, there’s no need to burden her with your issues. 

Now you were in your apartment, sitting on your couch and staring at the letter in your lap. You didn’t really know what it was going to say. The two of you had already said goodbye. 

The buzz of your cellphone pulled you from your head. Half excitedly, you reached for the cell. For a moment you thought it could be Bellamy, maybe he got the chance to call. Disappointment rushed through your veins when Raven’s name flashed on the screen. 

A deep sigh escaped you before pressing answer. “Hello?”

“Y/N? Are you home?” The concern in her voice tugged at your heart. It felt nice to hear her voice. You’d been so caught up in spending your last couple days with Bellamy you almost forgot about your best friend. 

“Yeah, I just got home a few minutes ago.” You mumbled into the line, playing with the envelope in your lap. 

You could hear Raven let out a sign of relief on the other end. “Good. How’re holding up? You’re not about to go out on a bender are you?” 

Much to your surprise, you laughed. “I’m okay as I can be… but a bender doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea.” 

“As long as I’m invited I support you. But anyways, not why I called. I mean, obviously I want to know if you’re okay but. I thought I could keep your mind off of things? Have a girls night? Movies? Popcorn? Ice cream?” She sounded to hopeful, it was impossible to deny her. Plus the thought of having someone here at night seemed to comfort you. Raven practically squealed when you agreed, making you flinch slightly. “Oh my gosh, we’re gonna have so much fun okay?! I’ll get everything, don’t worry. Just be in your pajama’s by 8, okay?” 

There you were, laughing again. “I’m sure I’ll be in them before 8, but I’ll see you then…” A small smile remained on your mouth. “Thank you, Raven.” 

“There’s no need to thank me, you’re my best friend. But you’re welcome.” The two of you said your goodbyes. As soon as you set the phone back down a heavy feeling settled in your chest. You were alone again, at least for the next couple hours you would be. 

The letter in you lap seemed to be burning against your legs, waiting for you to open it. Any other letter from Bellamy you were practically ripping it open. But not this one. You couldn’t open it, not yet anyways. Walking into your bedroom, you opened your drawer and put it with all the other ones. You’d open it. Just not now. 

For the next couple of hours you relaxed around your apartment, got a shower, scrolled through social media, flipped through the channels, anything to pass the time.

Eventually 8:00 rolled around followed by a knock on your door. You hoped up from the couch and over to the door. Raven was standing on the other side, a large duffel in her arms. You laughed at her pj’s, not surprised at all to see her wearing your matching ones. “I knew buying matching pajama’s would come in handy!” Raven giggled and walked inside. 

Rolling your eyes, you shut the door behind you and followed her into your living room. She was digging out stacks of snacks, movies, and a small cooler which you assumed had the ice cream. “You really do think of everything don’t you?” 

Raven looked back at you, almost offended. “Of course I do.” Reaching down on the couch, she held up two movies. “So which do you wanna watch first? Die Hard or The Matrix marathon?” She wagged her eyebrows at you.

“Really Raven?” You laughed, shaking your head. “Die Hard… then Matrix marathon.” 

She smirked at you and opened the movie case. “I like the way you think.” Raven walked over to your TV, turning on your DVD player. “You wanna get the popcorn started? Maybe some spoons for the ice cream? It softened on the way over here.” 

“Yeah no problem..” Grabbing the popcorn, you walked into the kitchen and popped it in the microwave. 

Five minutes later, the two of you were snuggled on the couch. Popcorn in between your laps, ice cream in hand, movie on the screen. “When was the last time we did this?” Raven called from the other side of the couch, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

You shrugged, a small frown coming upon your lips. “I don’t know, but it’s definitely been too long.” 

She nodded in agreement. Neither of you talked for the rest of the movie, simply enjoying each others company. When the credits started to play, both bowls of ice cream were empty and almost all of the popcorn had been eaten. Raven let out a groan as she stretched out. “Ready for the marathon?” 

A small smile formed before nodding at her. “Yeah, I’m ready.” 

She pouted for a moment, relaxing back against the couch. “Y/N are you sure you’re okay? You’re allowed to talk to me about him.” 

You sighed, leaning your head back. “I don’t know, Raven. I mean he hasn’t even been gone a day and I already miss him like crazy.” 

“Obviously you’re gonna miss him. You two share something really special, it’s so clear how much you two mean to each other. But there’s something more than just missing him. You’re worried.” Raven shrugged and pulled the blanket up around herself. 

Your eyes squeezed shut, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “It’s just… the last time he came home, he was a mess. He went through shit no one should have to go through.” A sigh left your lips before turning to look at her. “I’m just scared this time he won’t be him when he comes back… If he comes back.”

“Hey! Don’t talk like that, okay? Of course he’s coming back. You can’t think like that or you’re gonna drive yourself mad.” Raven’s hand came over and landed on your arm, giving it a supportive squeeze. “He’ll be fine, Y/N.” 

“How can you be so sure?” Your voice was so hushed you weren’t even sure she heard you. 

She offered you a half smile. “I can’t be. But I know he will do all he can to come back to you, okay?” Her eyes widened, squeezing your arm again. 

You sighed and nodded, reaching for another pack of popcorn. “You start the next movie, alright? I’ll make another bag of popcorn.” 

When your eyes cracked open, the title screen to The Matrix lit up the room. Rubbing your hands over your eyes, you saw Raven curled up in a ball on the other end of the couch. 

Standing from your position, you grabbed the empty popcorn and ice cream bowls and walked them out into the kitchen. You decided you’d clean them later. Walking back into the living room, you tugged the blanket over Raven’s shoulders, making sure she was covered. 

After the TV was off, your bed started calling your name. You pulled back the covers and sat down on your mattress. A deep sigh left your lips as you snuggled between the sheets. 

Your eyes begged to be shut, begged for you to go to sleep. But something started nagging at the back of your mind. 

The letter.

Grumbling, you rolled over on your side and opened the drawer. The letter sat right where you left it. The scribble of your name made your heart skip a beat. Maybe reading it wouldn’t make the other side of the bed feel so cold. If you weren’t going to read it now, you didn’t know when you would. At least Raven is here to comfort you if you turn into a blubbering mess. 

You picked it up and scooted up on the bed, resting your back against the headboard. For a moment you fumbled with the envelope, you shaky fingers weren’t the best for opening letters. 

Eventually you were able to open it, unfolding the paper. Taking a deep breath you allowed your eyes to scan over the letter. 

_Dear Y/N,_

_When you finally convinced yourself to read this, I’m probably somewhere half way across the world. Been a while since we’ve done this. I have to say I didn’t miss it, though. I much rather be hearing that sweet voice of yours._

_I don’t know how long you waited to read this, not too long I hope. But I miss you like crazy. I never thought I could miss something as much as I miss you. You got me wrapped around your damn finger, not that I’m complaining._

_I understood why you did it, but I wish you would’ve let me say those three little words to you. God, I’ve been dying to say them from the first moment I laid eyes on you. Although I’m not sure if my heart could take hearing you say it back to me, if you would even say it back. You were right, if I heard it I don’t know if I could walk away from that._

_From what I figure, you’re probably in the process of shutting yourself off from everyone. Don’t bother denying it, you know I can read you like a book. Even from this far away. Just don’t, okay? Don’t put yourself through hell just because I’m going through it. You keep that smile on your face, go to work, go to school, hang out with Raven, hell even hang out with my sister. Do whatever to keep you smiling._

_The image of you smiling when I step off that plane is whats gonna keep me going. I will make it back to you, Y/N. Please, drill that into your brain and keep drilling till you believe it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, can’t go leaving that behind._

_I’ll be home soon, princess. I promise._

_All my love, Bell._

The smile on your face almost hurt your cheeks and your eyes stung with tears. Damn him for leaving, damn him for making you smile even when he’s not here. 

Setting the letter down, you reached back into your drawer and grabbed your notebook and pen. Flipping to an empty page, you began writing. 

_Dear,_

You stopped, suddenly remembering that you didn’t have an address to send to. The tears that were in your eyes weren’t happy ones anymore. Just the thought of him being in some foreign place with no way to contact him made your stomach twist in knots. All you could do was wait. 

You had to calm down, this was just like the first time you guys talked. But now the two of you were closer, so so much closer. Your hand wiped your cheeks dry, setting the notebook and pen down in its original place. Bellamy was right. He would be home before you knew it and everything would go back to normal. 

Folding the letter back up, you placed it back with all the others and shut out the lamp. You laid back against the mattress and tried to stop your brain from thinking a one hundred thoughts a minute. You and Bellamy would be back together soon, but for now you would go to bed alone. 

All alone.


	12. Hey Princess

**_8 Months Later_ **

It has been eight months since Bellamy has left. Eight months since you left him in that airport. It was funny how quickly someone could consume your life, and boy did he consume yours. 

Instead of checking your phone, you quickly fell back into the routine of checking your mailbox. That giddy feeling still filled your chest when you saw a letter from him, but it was nothing compared to when he was actually in front of you. 

Bellamy was able to call you a few times, but never able to talk long enough to satisfy you. Sometimes you could hear gun shots going off in the background but Bellamy insisted that it was nothing. Before hanging up the phone he always said the same things, everything was okay and he’d be home soon. Apparently you and him had different versions of ‘soon’. 

For a while you were able to occupy yourself with your school work, but that came to an end too. Now all you had left was work. On occasion you would talk to Octavia, she still came by the bakery just about every day. Next week she insisted that you come over for lunch. Her boyfriend will be out of town in DC and she didn’t feel like being alone. Reluctantly you agreed. As much as you just wanted to stay home and just go to bed, maybe spending some time with Octavia would be for the better. She was your closest connection to Bellamy anyways. 

**Bellamys POV**

Being away for this long was hard, it always has been. But this time was different. This time he had something damn special to come back to. Y/N. He missed his sister, sure. Although it was nothing compared to what he felt for her.

The few times he got to hear her voice again made being away even harder. She was what kept him pushing through this, what kept a smile on his face and his will strong. There would be no one else for him. Y/N was it, she ruined him for all other women. 

For longest time he wasn’t sure how long he was going to be over here. No one was able to give him a straight answer. The weeks turned into months and it was beginning to get old. Bellamy loved serving, but he loved his home too. 

Now the eighth month mark rolled around and he finally got his answer. By next week, Bellamy would be home. He wanted to do something special for his homecoming. He knew he wanted to knock Y/N’s socks off. How was he going to do that? He didn’t exactly know yet, but whatever it was, it was going to be good. 

**Reader’s POV**

“Raven, seriously, the only thing that will keep me happy is an extra large hot chocolate and a face mask. I just want a relaxing night, that’s all.” You brushed your hands off on your apron before grabbing the pipping bag again. 

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “All I’m saying is that a little night on the town might not be so bad! Little booze, little human interaction.” One of Raven’s eyebrows raised, a slight jab in her voice. 

Before you had any chance to respond, the bell to the front door rung. “Hey guys.” Octavia beamed as she stepped through the door and up to the counter. “How’re you guys doing?” 

“Oh yanno, just tryna get Y/N to loosen up a little bit. Have a drink or two.” Raven shrugged and sipped on her coffee. “The stick up her ass is rooted in there deep.” 

Octavia giggled as you set the freshly decorated cupcake down. “I don’t have a stick up my ass. I just want to stay home, is that so bad?” 

“Yes! It’s bad whenever you stay cooped up in your apartment because your man isn’t here to satisfy you!”

“Okay, ew. That’s my brother, thank you.” The two of you laughed as Octavia physically shuddered. “But Raven is right, Y/N. You’re allowed to have fun. You’re still coming over to my house this weekend right?” 

You nodded at her eager facial expression. “Of course! See, Raven, I’m going out.” 

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and stood up from her chair, tucking her laptop under her arm. “I’ll see you bitches tomorrow.” Raven winked at the two of you before walking out the door. 

The two of you watched as Raven walked outside, leaving you and Octavia the only two people left. “When’s the last time you heard from him?”

A small smile tugged on your lips. “Yesterday. He said he was moving locations and to wait until he sent me another letter before writing him back.” You shrugged and began setting the cupcakes on a display shelf. 

“He’ll be back soon, Y/N. Hopefully within the next month or so.” She smiled at you and shifted her weight between her feet. “I gotta get back to the office, I’ll see you later than. Okay?” You nodded bid her goodbye. 

After Octavia left, you glanced at the clock. There was only three hours left of your shift. You could do this. 

Eventually you made it home by 7pm. As soon as you walked inside, you kicked off your shoes. All you wanted was a shower… yes, a shower and some ice cream. That would solve all your problems. 

The hot water pumping out of your shower was the best damn feeling in the world. It washed away the entire day, leaving you fresh and clean. You wrapped yourself up in your fluffy robe and padded out into the kitchen. The ice cream in your freezer was calling your name. 

Soon enough you were settled on the couch, blankets around you with a bowl in your lap. It was perfect, the only thing left to do was turn on some Netflix. You were in the mood for a binge. 

The blaring sound of your ring tone pulled you out of your sleep. Your body jolted, making the empty bowl fall to the floor, along with your phone. “Shit.” You muttered and rubbed your eyes before reaching down for the fallen cell. 

Glancing at the clock you saw it was almost 11pm. Who in the hell was calling at this time? The name lit up on your screen took away any annoyance that filled your veins. It was replaced with joy, pure joy. “Hello?”

“Hey, princess.” God, that voice sounded so good. It was impossible to keep the smile from spreading onto your lips, it almost hurt your cheeks. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” 

A giggle pushed out of you. “No, no uh.. I was just watching a movie and I guess I fell nodded off.” You could hear Bellamy chuckle from the other side. “How’s it going over there?” 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about me. We seem to be wrapping up here, hopefully just a few more weeks.” Those words were like a huge weight off of your chest. The thought of seeing Bellamy again made you want to jump up and down and scream from the highest roof top. “You there?”

“Yeah I.. just.. It’s good to hear that.. I miss you, Bell.” The smile on your lips wasn’t exactly so happy anymore. You reached down and picked up the bowl and spoon before walking out into the kitchen. 

Bellamy sighed, you could practically see him pinching the bridge of his nose now. “I know, baby girl. I miss you too, more than you’ll ever know. But everything’s alright, I’ll be home soon okay?”

**Bellamy’s POV**

He stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. His fingers pinched his nose as he sighed at Y/N’s words. God, he just wanted to tell her. “So did you get to that other location you were being sent to?” 

At first he nodded, then remembered she wasn’t in front of him. No she was home, in her own apartment. “Yeah, my letter is in the mail. You should be getting it soon.” He felt like a dick for lying, there was no letter. “Hey, sweetheart I gotta go. I’ll hear from you soon.” Bellamy just couldn’t stay on the phone any longer. She sounded too sad, it broke his heart. 

After he hung up, Bellamy sat the phone down on the counter and rubbed his hands over his face. “Wow, I’m shocked you had it in you.” His eyes popped open at the voice and glared at his sister as she entered her kitchen. “You sure you don’t just want to drive over to her place now and get it over with?” 

He let out a groan and opened her fridge, pulling out a beer. “Don’t tempt me.” Bellamy cracked the top and took a swig. “I just wanna surprise her, okay? We had this planned for weeks, no need to ruin it now.” 

Octavia shrugged and patted her brother on the shoulder. “Two more days, big brother. Then you two can go back to being Mr. and Mrs. Happily-Ever-After.” She was right. He lasted eight months, he could definitely go two days… right? 

**Reader’s POV**

You woke up the next morning, the need to stay in bed was strong. The memory foam of your mattress had you in a prison of comfort. But today you were supposed to be meeting with Octavia for lunch. Looking over at your nightstand, it was 9am. Three hours until you had to be at Octavia’s. 

The hours passed in a blur and now you were in your car and driving over to her apartment. Throwing you car in park, you went inside and headed up to her floor. You made sure to send her a quick text, letting her know you were waiting outside. 

Not a minute later her door opened. “Hey! You ready?” You smiled at her and noticed the big basket in her hands. 

“Uh, what’s that for?” Your head tilted to the side as you reached out, helping her to carry the basket as she tried to lock the door. 

Octavia rolled her eyes and turned, taking the basket back from you. “I listened to Raven for you. Instead of just staying inside a different apartment, I figured we’d go to the park and eat. It’s really nice and sunny, fresh air will be good!” 

You wanted to object, but that happy look on her face made it impossible. Damn the Blake genes. “Fine, I hope you packed something good.” You smirked at her as the two of you walked down to her car. 

Twenty minutes later, Octavia was pulling into the parking lot. The two of you hopped out her car and she grabbed the basket out of the backseat. “There’s this really good spot at the top of this hill, looks right over top of the pond. Super pretty.” 

You laughed and followed along beside her. “This sounds more like a date than just a boring lunch.” 

She glanced at your from the side and shrugged. “What can I say? Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic.” She giggled and kept heading straight down the path.

The rest of the walk was pretty silent, but it was comfortable. Octavia wasn’t wrong with she said the view was pretty. There were flowers that surrounded around the entire perimeter of the pond, a large fountain sat in the center, a small family of ducks swimming around. The view made you smile. “See. I told you it was nice.” She smiled to herself and pulled the large sheet out from the basket. “Help me lay this out, will you?” 

Ten minutes later, the two of you had everything set up. Octavia thought of everything, it was almost impressive. She had a jug of lemonade, chips, hoagies, fruit, hell she even thought of dessert. It was practically a four course meal. “Okay, I’m impressed. Thank you for dragging me out of my house.” 

You smiled over at her and took a drink of your lemonade. “Of course! It’s the least I can do for the woman who nabbed my brothers heart.” She popped a chip in her mouth and glanced around. 

“You looking for something?” You raised an eyebrow at her. 

Her cheeks flustered and she quickly avoided whatever gaze you had on her. “Oh no, I just thought I saw a butterfly. But I guess it was nothing.” Octavia turned her head towards you, although she still wouldn’t look at you. She was looking behind you. A small smirk came across her face before quickly whipped around. “Wait! There’s one thing I forgot to get out.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched her rummage through the basket. “Octavia?” 

She smiled at you sheepishly and handed you a folded piece of paper. “Just open it.” She almost looked childlike, she was so happy. There was nothing written on the outside, it was just a standard piece of notebook paper. What made her so excited about this?

Giving her one more wary glance, your fingers slowly opened the piece of paper. There were two words written on that piece of paper. They were a powerful two words. Powerful enough for your blood to drain from your face. Powerful enough to make your lungs stop working. It was just two little simple words, but if you were right, those two little words were going to make your day. 

_Turn Around_

**Bellamy’s POV**

Every thirty seconds he was checking his phone for updates from Octavia. She was sending him updates of their location, how close they were and where they would be setting up at. He made sure to keep his distance, staying out of the sight as much as possible. People passing by probably thought he was some whack job, a man hiding behind some trees, but he didn’t care. He was on a mission. 

A few minutes later, his sister and Y/N walked into view. His heart started pounding against his ribs at the sight of her. Holy shit, she’s beautiful. So damn beautiful. It took every ounce of will power he had not to march right over there and make himself known. He had to see this through. 

It was hard not to get antsy, his hands were twitching and he suddenly felt the need to pace. “C’mon, O.” Bellamy’s eyes went wide as he watched his sister hand Y/N the piece of paper he scribbled on earlier that day. This was it. It was happening. No going back now. 

Bellamy took a deep breath and stepped out from his hiding spot and walked a little closer towards the two women in front of him. His eyes were glued on Y/N, watching as she read the paper. Even though her back was to him, he could tell the wheels in her head were turning, trying to make sense of whatever it was she just read. 

His jaw clenched as Y/N stood up, the small wobble in her legs made his lips turn to a smirk. It was crazy how much his heart called out for her. All of his movement stopped when she turned around, her eyes finally locked on his. His heart practically exploded, everything inside of him demanded to run over to her, scoop her up in his arms and this time never let go. 

He watched as her jaw dropped as well at the paper in her hand. Her eyes were the size of saucers. Y/N’s bottom lip trembled. “Bell?” Her voice was so hushed he strained to hear it. 

Watching and hearing her call his name was the best damn thing he’s seen in a long time. His smile grew impossibly brighter. 

“Hey princess.”


	13. The Question

Damn the Blake siblings. Damn them both to Hell. Damn Octavia for lying to you about your little picnic. Damn Bellamy for showing up out of no where. Their conspiracy left you standing in the middle of the park, mouth agape, eyes wide, and heart constricted. Your eyes were deceiving you. He couldn’t be in front of you, he told you he wasn’t going to be home for weeks. Yet here he was. 

Bellamy only said two words to you and you already felt weak in the knees. The smile on your lips grew incredibly wide, till the point where it hurt your cheeks. Your eyes stung as tears began to pool in them. Without another thought, your feet carried you across the grass. Bellamy let out a huff when you threw your arms around his neck, clinging to him as if he was your only form of oxygen. 

Your tears finally spilled over as you pressed your face into his neck. He felt amazing, felt like home. Bellamy squeezed you impossibly closer to him, hands running up and down your back. His newly sported facial hair scratched your cheek as you nuzzled closer against him. Sobs racked your chest as your tears soaked his shirt. 

He let out a small chuckle before kissing the side of your head. “You gotta breathe, Y/N.” God that voice, you missed that voice so much. You pulled back slightly, only enough to face him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice trembled as you struggled to focus on him. It amazed you how much he was able to change in eight months. Bellamy’s broader than he used to be, thicker, tanner… and that beard. You’ve never been the biggest fan of facial hair but on him, that was a completely different story. 

Bellamy’s hands left your waist to cup your face. The pads of his thumbs rubbed across your cheeks, drying your cheeks. “I wanted to surprise you, sweetheart.” 

“Well you succeeded..” Your cries finally stopped, getting replaced by a laugh. Shaking your head, you allowed your fingers to tangle in his hair, tugging him towards you. “God, I missed you so much…” Reaching up on your tip toes, you crashed your lips to his. 

It was a feeling you’ve felt a hundred times before, but every time his lips touched yours you were left breathless. Bellamy’s arms squeezed you tighter to his chest, his lips moving in perfect sync with yours. “Uh guys… guys.” His chest rumbled with a low growl before pulling away. 

A deep blush crept onto your cheeks when you remembered Octavia standing behind you. Turning slightly you gave O a small smile, muttering an apology. “I’m gonna let you two love birds catch up… I’ll see you guys later, alright?” She bid the two of you goodbye and started walking down the path to the car. 

Bellamy turned you back around in his arms, kissing your lips again. “How about we eat some of that food then get going back to my place?” That smirk on his face had you feeling giddy inside. His hands gripped yours before leading you over towards the picnic. “Damn, my sister really thought of everything didn’t she?” 

You nodded again, biting your bottom lip. Bellamy sat first, he almost looked too big to be sitting on the thin sheet. He patted the spot beside him, prompting you to take the seat beside him, keeping your side pressed to his. It was still hard to believe that he was here, truly here. For him being gone so long, nothing changed between the two of you. You simply fell back in rhythm with one another. “How long have you been home?” Your head leaned against his shoulder, grabbing the plate of fruit in front of you. 

He stiffened underneath you, cautiously taking the strawberry you handed him. “Uh, about three days.” 

Your eyes opened wide, quickly turning your head around to look at him. “Three days?! Bell, you’ve been home three days and you left me hanging?” There was no real reason to be upset with him. You waited eight months, three days should’ve felt like nothing. But knowing he was here, so close yet so far away. 

Bellamy tilted his head to the side slightly, his eyebrows furrowing at your distressed expression. “I’m sorry, princess. Truly I just wanted to surprise you.” His hand gripped yours again, running this thumb across the top of your hand. “Why are you so upset, dear?” 

“I… I don’t know. It’s just been so long since you’ve been here. I waited so long..” Your expression suddenly wasn’t so happy anymore.

“I had to wait too, Y/N. You’re not the only person who had to be alone for eight months. You think it’s easy being that far from you?” He sat up straighter, keeping his gaze locked on you. “It kills me knowing I have to wait weeks to hear from you again, that I couldn’t hear your voice every day, couldn’t wake up to that beautiful face every morning…” His eyes softened the longer he talked. 

You swallowed hard, his gaze was so intense it was hard for you to keep eye contact with him. “I got so used to having you around… then you just left. You left me, all alone.” 

He scooted closer to you again, cupping your cheek with his hand. “I know. I know I left and I’m never making that mistake again. I promise.” Your eyebrows furrowed on your forehead. Did that mean he wasn’t leaving again? What about his contract? You didn’t get the chance to further your questions. All of your thoughts were cut off by the feeling of his lips again. 

One of his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you tight against his chest. You melted into his touch, pressing your body incredibly closer to his. Bellamy’s hand gripped your thigh to tug you into his lap. A small gasp left your lips at the sudden pressure pressed against your core. 

Your bottom lip reached out and swiped across his bottom lip. Bellamy opened up to you in an instant, letting your tongues dance with each other. Every unsatisfied urge over the last eight months just hit you like a ton of bricks. Your hands gripped at his shoulders, tugging at his shirt. 

For a moment you forgot you were in public. You only cared about the man between your legs. Bellamy chuckled at your eagerness, pulling back just enough to break the kiss. “My place?” 

The two of you cleaned up the picnic at the speed of light, not caring about organizing, you threw everything into the basket and headed towards his Rover. Bellamy’s fingers tapped impatiently on the steering wheel the entire ride to his place. The sight of his apartment building was a relief. 

You slammed the car door behind you as you set off into the building. Bellamy was constantly touching you, his hand on yours, your back, your ass. The closer he got to his apartment, the handsier he became. 

When the elevator door dinged, he pulled you inside. “Fuck it.” After realizing you were the only two inside, Bellamy dropped everything in his hands. He turned his body towards you and backed you up against the wall. His large hands splayed across your waist while he kept you pinned with his hip. You released a small groan at the friction building between your two bodies. 

Bellamy’s lips were rough against yours. It was no longer the sweet slow kiss from earlier. This one was rushed, heated, desperate. He moved from your lips down to your neck. The scratch of his beard combined with the feeling of his lips sent shivers straight to your core. Every fiber inside of you was screaming for more, more of him. 

Your gasps turned to groans when the elevator dinged again, signalling you made it to his floor. Bellamy reluctantly pulled himself from you, making yourself instantly missing his body heat. After taking a deep breath and regaining strength in your legs, you were able to follow Bell down the seemingly never ending hall. 

Once the two of you were inside, he headed straight for the kitchen, setting everything on the counter. Then his attention was turned back to you. Bellamy’s heated gaze racked up and down your frame. You could feel yourself getting turned on just from his stare. Your heart pounded in sync with his footsteps as he stalked towards you. 

Bellamy bent down, wrapping his arms under your thighs before standing. A small giggle left you as he picked you up in his arms, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist. In seconds, your lips found his again. 

He blindly found his way into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Bellamy turned and sat down on the bed, keeping you in his lap. His fingers laced in your hair, tugging back slightly till your neck was exposed. He traced the hollow of your throat with his lips, nipping at the soft skin. 

“Bell..” You sighed, relaxing into his touch. His hands pushed you back, away from him, till you had no other choice but to stand. “What’s wrong?” You were only met with a smirk. Bellamy’s fingers gripped the hem of your shirt and tugged. 

“Take it off.” His voice was husky, laced with need. Your cheeks blushed crimson when you reached down to grab your shirt, tugging it over your head. Goosebumps rose on your skin as the cool air wrapped around your exposed skin. Bellamy licked his lips before reaching out towards you. “You’re so beautiful.” His voice was so hushed you weren’t even sure if you heard him. 

His hands started at your waist, traveling up and over your ribs till he was left cupping your breasts through your bra. The heat radiating from him was enough to make you moan. Why did he have to feel so good? In an instant he had you in his arms again, pulling you onto the bed until you were laying on your back. 

Bellamy stood at the foot of the bed, his gaze making you want to squirm. He peeled his own shirt off of his torso, exposing what you were longing to see. His tanned skin seemed to stretch for miles. Small freckles peppered over his skin, muscles rippled across his front. It was all enough to make you drool. 

Dropping to his knees on the bed, he crawled on top of you, finally giving you the skin on skin contact you’ve been yearning for. Much to your dismay, Bellamy didn’t kiss you. He kissed your shoulder, your collar bone, the top of your breasts peaking out from the top of your bra. His chest rumbled as he hummed in approval. “I missed this so much.” 

His lips were going to be the death of you. He was teasing, nipping, licking, all over your body until you were nothing but a ball of need. “Bellamy please.” You whined, arching your hips towards his, trying to gain some sort of friction. Trying to gain some sort of relief.

A small chuckle him as he shook his head. One of his arms wrapped around your back, unclipping the latch of your bra. “Relax, princess. I want to take my time with you.” His fingers expertly slid the straps from your shoulders, removing your bra completely before discarding it on the floor. “I’ll take care of you.”

**Bellamy’s POV**

He lost track of how long the two of them were occupied in his bed. Each round started to blur together until he lost count. They were both spent, exhausted, sated. Not long after they finished, Y/N was asleep, curled up under the covers. 

For a while he watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful, so damn beautiful it made his heart hurt. How he survived the past eight months without her was beyond him. She was perfect, she was his everything, she was his home. 

After placing a kiss on her forehead, Bellamy dragged himself out of bed. Pulling on a pair on sweatpants, he walked into his kitchen. He knew Octavia would be calling him soon, asking how the reunion went, if he did what he said he was going to do. He put the leftover food from the picnic in his fridge, making sure everything was cleaned up. 

A couple minutes later, his phone rang. Bellamy shook his head and clicked answer. “Hey, O.” 

She was smiling, it was obvious in her voice that she was beaming on the other end of the line. “Sooo, how’d it go?” 

Bellamy scoffed and walked into the living room. “Everything’s fantastic, she’s sleeping right now, little exhausted after a rather warm welcome.” He smirked as he sat down on the couch, relaxing against the backrest. 

“Okay, gross. I love you and but I don’t need to hear about your sex life… Did you do it?” There was such hopefulness in her voice. Bellamy couldn’t tell who was more excited, him or her. 

“No, I didn’t get the chance yet.” He mumbled into the line, rubbing his hand across his jaw. 

Octavia sighed from the other end. “Why not? I thought today was the day?!”

It was his turn to sigh. “Soon, O. Soon. I just got back I don’t want to overwhelm her. I promise you’ll be the first to know.” 

“Whatever. Let me know how it goes! Love you.” Without anything else, she hung up, leaving Bellamy with no chance to answer.

Bellamy groaned and tossed his phone to the other end of the couch. His sister has been nagging him about this since she first brought up the idea to her, now she won’t let it go. 

Standing up, he walked over to shelf, typing in the passcode on the tiny safe. He opened the door, looking inside. Bellamy wasn’t sure if he could do it today. He was away from her more than he was here with her. It was probably a stupid idea, but in his heart he knew it felt right. 

Reaching inside he pulled out the contents. A little black box sat in his hand. He popped open the lid, a diamond ring sat in the middle, staring right back at him. 

Now he just had to ask the question.


	14. Will You?

It’s been three weeks since Bellamy came home, the best three weeks of your life. You and Bellamy were even closer than before. The two of you were able to hang out without the stress of him getting deployed. It felt good, relieving. The morning after he got home, Bellamy told you that his contract was up. He didn’t want to renew it, not yet anyways. He told you that he had more important business to take care of. 

Two days after he came back, Bellamy finally told you those three little words that made your heart soar. It felt amazing hearing those words, like a breath of fresh air. Saying it back to him felt even better. You were positive that night would be engraved in your memory for the rest of time. 

_“I can’t believe we’re going back to the first restaurant we went to…” You giggled and slipped on your shoes. Bellamy had insisted on going out to eat and demanded that it be at the same spot as your first ‘date.’_

_He scoffed and grabbed his keys and wallet, shoving them into his pockets. “You love that place… and let me do something nice.” Bellamy’s lips turned up in a small smile before facing you. He looked so much younger when he smiled, you loved seeing him like that._

_Standing from the couch, you walked over to stand in front of him. You hooked your fingers in the belt loop of his shorts, tugging him closer to you. Leaning your head back, you stood up on your tip toes and placed a small kiss to his lips. “You always do something nice.” Your lips turned into a smile as you murmured against his lips._

_Bellamy hummed in agreement before wrapping his arms tight around your waist. “Anything for you, princess.” His smile grew wider before kissing the tip of your nose. “You ready to go?”_

_Twenty minutes later, the two of you were pulling into the parking lot of that small Italian restaurant. The two of you walked inside, hand in hand. Bellamy smiled over at you as he escorted you back to the same booth you sat in before. “You remember the same seat and all?”_

_Bellamy looked at you in shock as he slid down into the seat. “Of course I remember. I remember everything about the time spent with you.” He looked proud of himself. You couldn’t deny the warmth you felt growing in your heart. He was too perfect, just too damn perfect._

_The two of you ate dinner, Bellamy proving that he remembered your order from before. You talked aimlessly about whatever popped in either of your heads. An hour later it was time for the bill and the two of your were heading back out the door. When Bellamy got in the driver’s side, he paused for a moment. “You okay?” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him with a smirk._

_“Do you want to go to the park?” He turned on the vehicle, not exactly waiting for your answer. Glancing that the clock it was 8pm. It wasn’t like it was late or anything, so to the park you went._

_Bellamy pulled into the parking lot and glanced over at you. “Don’t move.” You didn’t have the chance to say anything else before he was hopping out of the front seat. Seconds later, your door opened. Bellamy was standing outside with his hand extended to help you out of the Rover. “My lady.”_

_A giggle escaped your lips as your hand molded against his, using it as support as you moved out of the vehicle. “What a gentleman.” You smiled up at him, keeping your hand in his._

_“Like I said, anything for you.” He winked at you after shutting the door for you._

_The two of you walked through the trails, mostly in comfortable silence. Just simply enjoying each others company. Before long you ended up back in front of that pond. A fountain in the middle was covered in tiny lights, making the water reflect. It was prettier than the first time you’ve seen it. “I love it here.”_

_Bellamy tugged your hand till you were facing him. His serious expression making your smile falter for a moment. “I love you.” There it was. Those three words you didn’t know how much you needed until right now. You imagined him saying it in your head one hundred times, but actually having him say it. There was nothing better than that._

_You stood in front of him, looking like a fish out of water. Your eyes wide, mouth agape, breathing ceased. Before you could say anything Bellamy was cutting you off again. “I should’ve said it the first damn day I met you. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that I loved you, that you were the only one for me. There is no one else I want beside me every night, waking up to every morning, and everything in between. It’s all you, always been you. I love you, Y/N. More than anything.”_

_His hands shifted till they were cupping your face. He stared into your eyes, searching for some sort of response in your eyes. There was no question in it, you knew without a doubt what you felt for Bellamy, what you’ve been feeling towards him for months. “I love you too.”_

Your phone buzzing brought you out of your thoughts. Scrambling your phone out of your pocket, you clicked answer. “Hello?”

“Hey girl! We still on for tonight?” Raven’s voice rang from the other end of the line. It felt like forever since the two of you hung out since Bellamy came home. You were lacking girl time with your best friend. 

You smiled into your phone, pacing beside the foot of your bed. “Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I miss you, Raven.” 

“I miss you too. It’s been too long. Just dress cute okay? The place we’re going to is like, real high class. It looks over the beach and everything.” Raven gushed into the phone, causing you to laugh. 

“I promise, I’ll try to look my best.” You glanced over at Bellamy, who was lounging on your bed. He had his arms resting above his head, hands resting behind his head. Your eyes racked over the bulges of muscles on his arms, across his chest, down his stomach… It was then that it registered to you that Raven was still talking. A deep flush graced your cheeks. “Uh, sorry Ray. What’d you say?” Bellamy chuckled from the bed, causing you to glare at him before tossing a pillow at his face. 

She groaned from the other side. “I said, be ready in about two hours okay? The wait at that place can get crazy.” You agreed with her before saying your goodbyes. 

When you hung up, you turned towards Bellamy with your bottom lip sticking out. “I just want to stay in bed with you.” You flopped down on the bed beside him, curling up against his side. It still amazed you how warm he was.

Bellamy let out another laugh, tilting your face back so he could look at you. “You need to go hang out with your friends, Y/N.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. “I’ll be here when you get home, okay?” Bellamy murmured, kissing your harder. 

A small sigh left your lips as you kissed him back, tugging him incredibly closer. You knew you had to get ready, but there was time for this. Always time for this. 

Apparently Bellamy had other ideas in mind. All too soon he was pulling away from you, running his thumb across your bottom lip. “Go get ready, sweetheart. I’m gonna head to my place to get some clothes and grab a shower, then I’ll be back over here.” 

Smirking at him, you kissed the pad of his thumb. “You can always shower here, yanno… with me.” 

“Mmm, as tempting as that is.” He slowly pulled away from you, prompting a groan from you. “You’re not going to get ready if I’m in there with you. Have fun tonight, Y/N.” 

The next two hours passed by in a blur. Before you knew it, you were dressed, made up, and ready to go. You followed Raven’s instructions to look your best. A black cocktail dressed covered your frame. It was simple, but paired with the right shoes and make up, you looked pretty damn good. 

At 7:03 your phone buzzed. Glancing down, you saw it was a message from Raven letting you know she was here. Walking outside, you saw Raven’s jeep parked along side of the road. “Dang, you clean up nice.” She said to you with a smirk as you slipped into her passenger seat. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You rolled your eyes at her before pulling on your seat belt. “So how far is this place?” 

Raven glanced over her shoulder before pulling out onto the road. “I’m surprised you’ve never heard of this place before. It’s about a half hour from here, it looks right over the ocean. There’s even a deck that leads down to the beach.” 

When Raven had said the restaurant was fancy, she wasn’t kidding. It was probably the nicest place you’ve ever been too. The two of you were escorted over to a table long the far wall. Glass windows stretched from floor to ceiling, allowing you to look over the water. 

The bright moon provided extra light in the dim room, a single candle sat in the middle of the table. “Okay seriously, Raven, why are we at a place this nice? Normally we settle for burgers.” You smirked up at her, before thanking that waiter for pouring you a glass of water. 

“What can I say? It’s the first time we’ve hung out in forever. I wanted to have a fun and fancy dinner with my best friend.” She shrugged at you before taking a drink. You couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. In that moment you decided to make the executive decision to listen to Bellamy. You were going to have a fun night, have some quality girl time. 

An hour later, the check was paid and the two of you were completely stuffed with food. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat anything for a week.” You groaned before leaning back in your seat, resting a hand over your stomach. 

Raven laughed and nodding, falling into the same position as you. Her head turned to the side, looking out the window. A small smile pulled onto her lips. “Do you want to go out on the deck for a little bit?” Your smile was bigger as you eagerly nodded. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom first. I’ll meet you out there, okay?” 

You nodded in agreement and scooted your chair back, reluctantly standing up. Walking towards the back of the restaurant, you stepped out of the side door and out onto the porch. Twinkly lights wrapped around the railing and poles of the deck. The warm air kissed your exposed skin. Taking in a deep breath you looked around the deck. 

Something on the far side of the railing caught your eye. Walking over towards the railing beside the stairs. A small white card rested on top. The words ‘Open Me’ stared back at you. You’d recognize that hand writing anywhere. It was engraved in your mind. With a shaky hand, you picked up the folded card, slowly opening it. 

_Go Down The Stairs_

A giddy feeling started forming in yours stomach. Biting on your bottom lip, you glanced back at the door. Raven was standing there, an extreme smile on her face, arms crossed on her chest. “Go!” She ushered you along. You wanted to ask questions, figure out what was happening, but she gave you no choice. “Go down the stairs, Y/N!” 

With a huff, you made your way down the staircase. Another card sat along the railing. 

_Follow The Trail On The Left_

Your eyes shifted over, glancing to the left. A small trail lead from the deck towards the beach. You slipped off your shoes, stepping into the sand. The feeling of the sand between your toes made you smile. 

You followed down the small trial, keeping your eyes out for any other cards. A few feet ahead there was a small light sticking in the middle of the sand. Your eyebrows furrowed as you walked closer to it. The closer you got, it became clear that it was a small candle. Beside the candle was another card. 

The butterflies in your stomach turned into a swarm. It was hard to open the card, your fingers were trembling. 

_Head Up The Hill_

Looking ahead, you saw a sand dune about twenty feet ahead. Part of you wanted to sprint up the hill as fast as you could, see what was waiting for you at the top. You clenched the cards in your hand, careful not to wrinkle any of them. They were going to be apart of your collection in your drawer. 

Halfway up the dune you were met with another candle and card. 

_Meet Me At The Top_

This time you did move faster. You feet carried you up the hill, stopping when you finally reached the top. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. It looked like something straight out of a fairy tale. These types of things just didn’t happen to every day people. 

Candles were scattered all throughout the top of the hill, igniting the space with a warm glow. Standing in the center was none other than your Bellamy Blake. He was dressed in slacks, a button up shirt, he look practically edible. “Bell?” You asked cautiously, taking slow steps towards him. 

He only gave you a smile, holding his hands out towards you. Your heart was pounding inside your chest, the sound thudding in your ears. He seemed like a mile away, but eventually you ended up in front of him. You linked your hands with his, tilting your head up at him. “What is all this?” 

Bellamy smiled wider, running his thumb across the back of your hand. “Y/N, there are no words to describe how important you are to me. You came into my life and changed it for the better. I can only describe that as fate.” 

His words were taking making you blush and smile like an idiot. “Bellamy, you do-”

“Please, let me finish..” He waited for you to agree before continuing. Taking a deep breath, he went on. “The entire time I’ve known you, you’ve become my rock. The thing that keeps me going every day, what motivates me to get up in the morning. I know I haven’t always been the best to you. I’m stubborn, can be kind of a dick, and I may not know much. But what I do know, is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that you are the best damn thing that ever happened to me, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you.” 

Bellamy dropped your hands before searching in his back pocket. When he brought his hand back around to the front, there was a tiny black box sitting in his hand. The sight of the box alone had your heart in your throat. This couldn’t be happening. Is he serious? Before your eyes Bellamy dropped to one knee, holding out the tiny box. His other hand came up, prying open the box. A diamond ring sat in the middle, sparkling in reflection of the moon light. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” 

“Yes.”


	15. Meet Them

_“Y/N Y/L/N will you marry me?”_

_“Yes.”_

Those words rung in your head for hours that night. Your cheeks remained stained with tears from Bellamy sliding the ring on your finger. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of it. The entire ride home you stared at the diamond on your hand, gently running a finger over it. It was perfect. You were engaged to Bellamy. Your soldier.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. Bellamy scooped you up in his arms and carried you back to his Rover. As soon as you got to his apartment it was nothing but hands, mouths, and discarded clothing. The two of you stayed locked together until you almost collapsed from exhaustion. That night you feel asleep with only a thin layer of sweat on your body and the ring. 

It wasn’t the alarm that woke you up the next morning. It was the feeling of a hand sliding up your thigh, the lips against your shoulder. That’s what woke you up. Letting out a small sigh, you arched your back pressing tighter against Bellamy. “Mmm, good morning.” You felt his chest vibrate as he spoke. The deep sound sent a shiver down your spine. 

Rolling over in his arms, you faced him with a sleepy smile on your face. “Morning to you too.” He smirked at you before pressing a small kiss to your lips. Bellamy’s hand shifted up from your thigh to your ass, squeezing. You melted into his touch, becoming a complete puddle of need in his grasp. 

“I can’t believe I get to wake up to this every day.” He murmured as he nipped at your neck. The feeling of his teeth scraping across your sensitive flesh had you groaning. There was still an ache in your legs from the night before, but you knew Bellamy would ease it. 

You opened your mouth to respond, but the sound of your phone ringing cut you off. A groan ripped from your mouth, this time out of frustration in replace of pleasure. Bellamy sighed and let his arms go limp around you, making it easier for you slip from his grasp. Rolling over, you snagged the phone from the nightstand. “Hello?” 

“Sweetie! I didn’t think you were going to answer! It’s almost 10 are you still in bed?!” Your mother’s voice rang from the other end of the line, making you flinch slightly. You loved that woman, you really did, but gosh was she ever peppy in the morning. 

“Uh yeah, late night last night.” You smirked over at Bellamy, keeping the phone pressed to your ear. 

Your mother sighed. “Well, I was just calling to see if you were still coming to that BBQ your father insists on having? You haven’t been home in forever and it would be nice to see you.” As her words sunk in your eyes widened, a small gasp escaped your lips as you sat up. “You forgot didn’t you?” 

A small whine left you as you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I’ll be there. I promise. It’s at 5, right?” 

“Yes! Oh, honey I’m so happy you’re coming.” Just from the sound of her voice you could tell she had a big smile on your face. 

You glanced back at Bellamy with a small smile on her face. “Hey mom, you remember Bellamy?” You watched as his face contorted into more confusion, your smile growing bigger. “If he’s free today is it okay if I bring him along? He’s pretty important and I want you guys to meet him.” 

Your mother gasped. “Of course! Y/N I have been asking to meet him for weeks! Yes, bring him!” 

Another five minutes went by before you were finally able to get your mother off the phone. Tossing the phone on the bed, you turned to Bellamy with a big cheesy smile on your face. “Soooo, do you happen to be free tonight around… say five?” 

He scoffed and nodded. “If it’s for you, of course I’m free.” 

Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his. “I love you so much.” 

After that, the two of you drug yourselves out of bed. You ate breakfast together before Bellamy dropped you off at you apartment in order for you to get ready. At 3:30 you left to pick up Bellamy. It took about 40 minutes to get to your parents house and your mother would probably need help setting up. 

You pulled into your parents driveway at 4:30. Turning off the engine, you turned to Bellamy and gave him a small smile. “Are you nervous?” 

He shrugged and unbuckled his seat belt. “Just hope they like me, that’s all.” 

“They’ll love you, I’m sure of it.” You smiled a little bigger as you stepped out of your car, shutting the door behind you. Bellamy came and stood by your side. Reaching out, you interlaced your fingers with his before stepping up to the front door. You didn’t even have the chance to knock, your mom was already jerking the door wide open. 

She released a small squeal and engulfed you in a suffocating hug. “Aw, Y/N I’m so happy you’re here.” Your mother swayed you from side to side, still squeezing you. 

You let out a small laugh, gently patting her back. “Hey uh mom, can’t really breathe.” 

Her arms loosened in an instant. “Right sorry.” She smiled at you before glancing over your shoulder, her eyes widened slightly. “And who is this?” 

A blush covered your cheeks as you turned back to Bellamy, standing beside him. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Bellamy. Bellamy, this is my mother, Karen.”

Bellamy held his hand out to shake your mother’s hand, a sweet smile on his lips. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N.” 

You could see your mother blush under Bell’s gaze, you knew how she felt. He still made you feel butterflies. “Oh please, call me Karen.” Her hand patted the back of his. “Please, come in.” She moved back and allowed the both of you to walk in the house. 

The smell of charcoal and spices filled your nose. You smiled at the image of your dad standing in front of the grill. He always did make the best steaks. Karen moved around the two of you, pushing the glass door open to the back deck. “Michael, get in here and greet you daughter and her boyfriend!” You laughed as your mother swatted your father’s shoulder. 

He set down the tongs and spun around, his face splitting into a huge grin. “There’s my little bug!” Michael stepped inside and wrapped his arms around you. “Glad you could make it, sweetheart.” 

“Good to see you too dad.” You pulled back from him in order to introduce Bellamy again. 

The two men shook hands, you dad eyeing him cautiously. “Firm grip you got there, boy.” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Dad ser-”

“No, it’s okay.” Bellamy let out a small laugh. “Being in the army made my grip a little tighter over the years.” He smirked over at you before looking back at you parents. “It’s great to finally meet you guys, Y/N talks about you a lot.” 

“Oh please, it’s our pleasure. Every time she speaks there’s always something to say about you.” Karen gushed and walked into the kitchen, pulling out some glasses. 

You looked at Bellamy, a question in your eyes. He smiled and gave you a reassuring nod. This was it, you were going to tell your parents you were engaged. You were surprised she didn’t noticed the ring on your finger. You were a little nervous for their reactions. The two of you haven’t been together that long, but he was it for you. Bellamy was your one. 

“So guys, we do have some exciting uh news.” Your mother paused pouring herself a glass of tea and your father turned on his heels, mid sip. 

Karen’s eyes widened as she sat the pitcher down. “You’re pregnant?!” Your dad choked on his drink, hitting himself in the chest. 

You felt your jaw go slack as the palm of your hand rested against your forehead. “What?! No! Mom, no!” A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you shook your head. You turned to Bellamy, whose cheeks were probably redder than yours. One of his arms wrapped around your waist, giving you a supportive squeeze. “We’re uh… we’re engaged.” You held up a shaky hand, giving your parents a full view of the ring on your finger. 

For a moment everyone was silent, no one moved or spoke. There was a series of emotions that passed across your mothers features. You watched as she switched from shocked, to realization, to happy. “Oh sweetheart!” Karen came to the other side of the bar and threw her arms around both you and Bellamy. “I can’t believe this when did it happen?!” 

“I asked her last night, ma’am.” There was a sense of pride in Bellamy’s voice as he looked up at your mother. 

Karen gripped one of the bar stools and took a seat, her one hand still on Bellamy’s. “I want to know exactly how it happened.” Your mother’s reaction was enough to distract you from seeing your father slip out the back door and to the deck. 

“I’m sure Bellamy will tell you everything.” You patted both of them on the back before stepping out onto the deck. Michael had his back towards you, flipping whatever meat he had on the grill. “Hey dad?” He turned his head slightly to the side, acknowledging your presence. “You alright?” You knew it was a stupid question to ask. His shoulders were tense and he wasn’t talking, therefore he wasn’t alright. You went over to the table and sat down on the bench. “You gonna talk or are you just gonna keep staring at that steak?” 

He let out a grunt and shut the lid of the grill. “How long have you guys been together?” 

You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Dad… I know it’s not as long as you would’ve probably liked us to be together but… He makes me happy dad.” You looked up at him, your eyes pleading with his. 

Michael huffed and sat down beside you. “How do you know it’ll last?” 

“I don’t know. No one knows for sure. But I’ve never felt more sure of anything in my life. He brings out this entirely different side of me, a side of me that sees the everything so much brighter. I even showed him the wave breathing thing…” He let a smile crack onto his lips at the mention of it. “I love him, dad. I really and truly do.” Your tongue reached out and swiped across our bottom lip. “I want to marry him.” 

Your dad ran a hand over his face. “I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you… that boy is head over heels for you.” Michael’s hand reached out and patted your leg. “If he makes you happy, then I guess that’s good enough for me.” 

Your smile grew wider, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “You’re the best.” 

Not long after that, the rest of your family and parent’s neighbors started showing up. Your mother made sure to brag about how romantic Bellamy was, how beautiful the ring was he picked out. You lost count of how many times people asked you to see the ring. 

The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Your entire family loved Bellamy. Everyone ate together, played a few yard games, before you knew it it was almost 11. A small yawn pushed out of you. Bellamy rubbed your back, the action making your sleepier. “You tired, princess?” 

You nodded your head, leaning your head on his shoulder. About two hours ago your dad had started a fire, insisting that it wasn’t a proper BBQ without smores. Now you were stuffed with marshmallow, sitting beside the fire with the love of your life. “We can get going if you want… didn’t get much sleep last night.” Bellamy murmured the last bit, making your insides feel tingly. 

“Yeah we can head out.” Most of the people had left by this point anyways. Only about five other people remained. Bellamy stood first, pulling you to your feet. He kept his arm around you, keeping you tucked into his side. Bellamy was so warm. 

Karen was walking back outside, a fresh batch of margaritas for her and the woman next door, Abby. “Aw, are you guys leaving?” 

You nodded at your mom, a sleepy smile resting on your lips. “Yeah, been a long day. We’re both pretty tired.” 

She pouted and set the glasses down on the table. Her arms wrapped around you first, giving you a small peck on the cheek. “Please don’t take too long to visit us again. It’s nice having you around.” 

“I promise, mom. You can help me plan.” A flicker of excitement ignited in her eyes as she nodded. 

Your mom directed her attention to Bellamy. Instead of a handshake, she brought him in for a hug. It made you smile, seeing your mother take such a liking towards him. “You two make sure you say goodbye to your father, alright?” 

Saying goodbye to you father wasn’t as touchy feely as it was with your mom. He gave you a quick hug and Bellamy another handshake and that was that. You were grateful when Bellamy offered to drive, you could barely keep your eyes open. 

It only seemed like seconds passed and Bellamy was pulling into your apartment complex. You stretched in the passenger seat, blinking the sleep from your eyes. Glancing over at Bellamy, you saw him sitting still, staring at the hands in his lap. “You alright, Bell?” 

It seemed as if your words snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. “Uh yeah, sorry… I was just thinking.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed and you shifted in the seat to face him more. “About what?” 

He huffed, smiling lightly. “I was thinking that maybe we could move in together… seeing as we’re getting married and all.” 

The question made your heart flutter. You obviously assumed you would move in together sooner or later. But you definitely liked the idea of sooner. “As long as I get to move in with you… Your place is bigger.” You leaned over and placed a small kiss on his lips. “And your bed is bigger.”


	16. Home

It’s been a week since Bellamy had asked you to move in with him. Now you were up to your neck in boxes, trying to organize what was left of your apartment. You were in your bedroom when Bellamy came back inside. A line of sweat formed across his forehead as his chest heaved slightly, hands resting on his hips. “How many more boxes you got?”

You smiled at him from over your shoulder. “I think three, the one in here, the bathroom, and the living room.”

He nodded and walked over closer to you, resting a hand on your shoulder. “Whatcha looking at?”

“You remember this?” You held the small picture up in your hand, the first picture Bellamy ever sent you of himself. The image of him and John stared back at him. Bellamy chuckled, taking the image from you. “I have the other ones too.”

Leaning down you grabbed the stack of papers from your bedside drawer, flipping through the stack of letters Bellamy sent you over the months. “You kept all of these?” He leaned his head a little further down, inspecting the notebook pages.

“Of course, I did.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared back at him, looking at him like he was crazy. “Didn’t you?”

“I still got that first picture you sent me tucked in my wallet, you know that.” He smirked and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “Why don’t you finish up in here while I get the other two boxes? I want to get everything over to my place before dark.” With another squeeze to your shoulder, Bellamy walked over to your bathroom and hoisted the box in his arms.

Your landlord gave you a month to have the place completely vacated and empty. That gave you plenty of time to sell the remaining furniture in your place. Smiling one more time at the stack of letters, you safely tucked them into the final box. One long strip of tape over the top and that was it. You were packed and ready to move into your new home.

Just as the sun was beginning to set, you and Bellamy grabbed the final things from the Rover and headed up to his place. His living room was now filled with boxes and tubs of your belongings. “Really didn’t think I had this much stuff…” You muttered to yourself as you cautiously walked around the boxes and over to the couch before plopping down beside Bell.

“I think I’m going to have to turn that spare bedroom into a closet just for you.” He slung his arm around the back of the couch, letting his finger tips ghost across the top of your shoulder. You were about to open your mouth to respond, but the sound of your stomach growling cut you off. Bellamy laughed and squeezed you a little closer to his side. “How about we order in?”

You nodded sheepishly, getting up to grab the stack of takeout menus from Bellamy’s kitchen. “What place were you thinking?”

“Anywhere that has wings!” Your mouth was watering just at the thought of digging into some wings. There was a pizza place about two blocks from here, perfect.

Walking back over to the couch, you tossed the menu in Bell’s lap. “Order whatever you want, my treat this time.” The smile that formed on his face was enough to make you blush. It was funny how the smallest of things made him happy.

Thirty minutes later, the two of you were blessed with two dozen buffalo wings and an extra-large pizza. It was like heaven in a box. You and Bellamy shuffled some boxes out from in front of the TV, placing the food on the coffee table. “What are you feeling like watching? Think you’ll finally give in and watch Game of Thrones with me?”

“Didn’t I tell you from the beginning that I wasn’t interested?” You laughed as Bellamy spoke through a mouthful of pizza. Your bottom lip pouted out as you snuggled down on the couch, grabbing a wing for yourself. “Fine. But if I’m not into it by the second episode, we’re turning on The Walking Dead.”

Four episodes later, both of your stomachs were full, and you swore Bellamy was going to be a bigger fan of the show than you. He bombarded you with questions and hung onto every word that Khaleesi said.

As soon as the episode ended, you clicked off the TV. “What do you think you’re doing?!” Bellamy jerked up right and flicked his gaze between you and the TV.

“Bell it’s past midnight! We had a long day and we’re supposed to be meeting your sister tomorrow for breakfast.” You grabbed his hand and pulled it into your lap, running your thumb over the back of his hand.

Reluctantly he nodded and took the pizza and wing boxes out into the kitchen before coming back over to you. You were about to turn towards the bedroom when Bellamy’s arms caught you. He looped his arms around the back of your thighs, lifting you up onto his waist. A giggle ripped from your lips as you locked your ankles behind his back. “I think it’s about time I give you a proper welcome home, princess.”

The sound of Bellamy’s alarm woke you from the pleasant dream you were in the middle of. You and Bellamy were off on an island, just the two of you. It was a dream you were determined to make a reality. The bed shifted beside you as Bellamy rolled over to shut of the annoying beep. You lifted your hand, rubbing a hand over your eyes till your vision finally cleared. “Rise and shine, sweetheart.” Bell grumbled from behind you, placing a small kiss on your shoulder, a heavy arm linking around your waist.

“Mmm, don’t get too handsy. We have to meet Octavia in an hour.” Your voice rasped before turning in his arms to face him and placing a small kiss on his nose.

The two of you moved around each other while getting ready with ease, like you’ve been doing this for years. Exactly an hour later, the two of you were pulling into the diner that Octavia suggested. “Guys! Over here!” You turned your head to see O sitting in the back corner of the restaurant, coffee already in her hands. Bellamy scoffed and linked his hand with yours, tugging you over to the booth his sister was seated in. “So Y/N, did you get all your stuff moved into Bellamy’s?”

“Yeah, everything is still in the boxes though, packing everything up and moving was enough for one day.” Bellamy nodded in agreement, his eyes slightly widening.

A chipper old woman came up beside the table, tablet ready in her hands. “Good morning, what can I get y’all this morning?”

“Pancakes and bacon for me… oh and a chocolate milk.” You smiled over at the woman, handing her the menu.

“Uh I’ll take the southwest omelet, side of bacon, black coffee.”

The waitress scribbled down Bellamy’s order and took the menus. “I’ll get those right in for you.” Her gaze turned to Octavia. “Hun, yours should be out any minute.” Without another word, she walked away, leaving just the three of you.

Octavia beamed over at you. “You guys pick a date yet for the big day?”

Bellamy glanced over your way, a single eyebrow raised in question. To be honest, the two of you haven’t really discussed the wedding much. A few tiny things here and there, but nothing major. Then again, you’ve only been engaged for a little over a week. Engaged. You weren’t sure you were ever going to grow tired of that word. “Y/N mentioned something about an October wedding. Not too hot.” His hand met yours under the table, giving your fingers a small squeeze.

You thought Octavia was going to burst from excitement. “Does that mean you’re thinking of an outside wedding?”

Before you could answer, the old woman came back with a large tray full of food. “Here you all go.” She smiled sweetly and placed all the plates down in front of you. Just the sight of the food had your stomach rumbling. Grabbing the glass, you took a sip of the chocolate milk, relishing in the sweet taste.

“An outside wedding would be pretty… I’ve always loved the beach, but the idea of sand everywhere seems a little, itchy.” Your nose scrunched up at the idea of a beautiful white dress getting battered in the dirty sand.

Octavia’s eyes widened as she took a big bite of her waffle. “What about that park we went to?” Her voice was grumbled through the full mouth.

“Bellamy mentioned that spot too.” This time it was your turn to squeeze his hand, smiling over at him.

“Well, October is only what? Seven months away? You have a lot of planning to do.”

The rest of breakfast went by in a blur. Octavia was gushing about how she couldn’t wait to actually have a sister. After the three of you said your goodbyes, you went your separate ways. Relaxing back in the passenger seat, you laid your hands over your slightly bloated stomach. “All I want now is a nap.”

Bellamy chuckled and began pulling out of the parking lot. “I think we have to get those boxes unpacked. I didn’t clean out room in my closet for nothing.” He smiled over at you before pulling out on the road.

By the sixth box, you were tired of unpacking. All of your clothes now hung beside Bellamy’s, shoes lined the bottom of the closet, your toothbrush now sat beside his. It was all starting to finally feel like home. “Hey, you almost done in there?” Bellamy peeked his head inside the bathroom, looking down at you as you stacked your shampoo and soaps in the shower.

“Yeah I think I’m done for right now…” You smirked at him, walking over until you were standing in front of him. Lazily, you wrapped your arms around his waist, tilting your head back to look at him. “I’m so happy I have you.”

Bellamy’s lips turned up in that cheeky lopsided smile. “You have no idea.” Dipping his head down, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. “C’mon, I found something I think would be a cool idea.” He pulled back from you, keeping his one hand on your lower back as he ushered you over to the spare bedroom.

“What is it?” You tilted your head to the side as he walked over to the desk along the far wall, pulling something out from the top drawer. He turned to you, holding out the object in his hands. “A scrapbook?” The confusion on your face grew. “What are we going to do with that?”

Bell flipped through the empty pages. “Well I was thinking, we both have all those letters. I thought instead of keeping them all stacked in a drawer… we could keep them in here. That way they stay nice and we don’t loose any of them.” The smile on his face turned shy as a small blush crept onto your cheeks.

You could feel your heart swell to twice it’s size. Damn him for being so perfect, perfect for you. “I’ll go get the letters.” You had to bite your bottom lip to keep the tears from spilling over. Why were you getting so emotional all the time? Walking back into the master bedroom, you grabbed both stacks of letters. Entering the spare bedroom again, Bellamy was sitting on the floor, flipping through the pages. “I got ‘em.”

Bell smirked up at you and patted the spot on the floor beside him. Sitting Indian style on the floor, you splayed out each stack on the floor. “Okay, so we should put them in chronological order, right? From the first one you sent me to the most recent one?” He smiled bigger and flipped through the letters until he found the first one he received from you. “I still remember the day I got this.” Bellamy ran a soft finger over the words on the paper.

Leaning against his side, you peaked over at the paper and almost cringed out of embarrassment. “Gosh I was so awkward, why did you ever reply to me?” You laughed and took the letter from Bellamy’s hand and slipped it in the first empty slot in the scrapbook.

His hand reached under your chin and tilted your face up to meet his. “Call it a hunch.” He smirked before pressing his lips to yours. No matter how many times you kissed him, it took your breath away every time. All too soon he was pulling away, glancing down at his phone. “You know you have to be at work in a half hour, right?”

By the grace of God, you were able to make it to work on time by the skin of your teeth. Two more minutes and you would’ve been late. As much as you wanted to stay home all day with Bellamy, you still had to make money. Unfortunately, you were closing tonight. There was no doubt you’d get out of here earlier than 10.

You were right. By the time you were stepping into your apartment it was almost 11, Bellamy was already in bed. You quietly tiptoed around the bed, sliding off your shoes and clothes until you were in nothing but your underwear. Opening the closet door, you winced when Bellamy grumbled from the bed. “Y/N?”

Quickly you grabbed a shirt and pulled it over your head, the hem coming to rest right at your mid-thigh. Climbing into the bed, you snuggled in close to Bellamy’s side. “Sorry for waking you.” You murmured against his chest, placing a small kiss against his sternum.

He hummed happily and wrapped an arm around your waist. “S’okay princess… just happy you’re home.” Bellamy’s words slurred as he fell back to sleep, you following quickly behind.

The sound of your phone ringing jerked you awake. Sitting up with a jolt, you grabbed your phone off the nightstand. An unknown number and 1:49AM stared back at you from the screen. “Hello?” Your voice wasn’t more than a whisper, clearing your throat, you spoke again. “Hello?”

“Hello, Miss. Is this Y/N Y/L/N?” A deep voice spoke back to you, a loud siren and a couple of hurried voices could be heard in the background.

Sitting up, you pinched the bridge of your nose. “This is she.”

“My name is Officer Wolfe. I’m sorry for calling you so late, ma’am. There’s been an accident involving your friend, Raven Reyes. You’re the only person on the emergency contact. We need you at the hospital, now.”


	17. Problem

_There’s been an accident involving your friend, Raven Reyes._

For a moment, time seemed to freeze. The only thing reassuring you that this wasn’t a dream was the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. You were positive your ribs were going to hurt from the constant thudding. After hanging up the phone, it set in. Raven was in the hospital and she needed you.

Throwing the covers off your legs, you shoved your feet onto the floor, rushing over into the adjoining bathroom. “Y/N?” You heard Bellamy grumble from the bed, but you couldn’t respond. You weren’t sure your voice could even work anymore. Tears were pricking your eyes, blurring your vision as your tried to grab your tooth brush. “Y/N, are you okay?”

You could hear him moving, the sound of his footsteps padding across the floor. With a shaky hand you put the toothbrush in your mouth. You just nodded, again, not trusting your voice. Bellamy appeared behind you, blinking while trying to adjust to the harsh light. His hand rested on your shoulder as concern began to fill his eyes. Worry etched between his brows. “Baby what are you doing?”

At first you didn’t answer, only rinsed out your mouth and put the brush back in the holder. There wasn’t time to explain, you weren’t even sure how to explain, they didn’t tell you much. But you knew you had to go. Now. The tears in your eyes betrayed you as they started flowing down your cheeks. Your chest shook as the first sob made itself known. You tried moving around Bellamy, but his broad frame blocked you from moving. “Y/N, tell me what’s going on. Now.”

You slowly brought your eyes up to his, your entire form shaking. “R… Raven’s in… uh in the hospital…” The confusion in Bellamy’s face was evident as he tired to process your words. “An officer called me… there… there was an accident.” You whispered the last word as if it was the eighth deadly sin.

Bellamy’s eyes widened as your words started to sink in. “Oh, sweetheart.” His arms engulfed you, keeping his hand pressed to the back of your head, dampening his chest with tears.

Your arms shook as you gently pushed on his sides, pushing him away from you. “I.. I gotta go, Bell. I’m on her emergency contact I gotta go.” You shook your head and turned your back on him, rushing back into the bedroom in search of clothes. Bellamy followed you in and you watched as he tugged a shirt over his head. “What are you doing?”

“Do you really think I’m going to let you go by yourself?” He raised an eyebrow at you as you tugged on your shorts. “I’m sorry baby but you’re a mess right now, you’re in no condition to drive.” You knew he was right, you could barely focus on getting dressed, let alone drive.

Five minutes later, the two of you were in Bellamy’s car and headed towards the hospital. The lights of the street blurred by your eyes as Bellamy drove down the road. Your leg bounced with anticipation, fingers fumbling with themselves. You didn’t know what to expect, the officer didn’t tell you anything.

Before you knew it, the red flashing lights of the emergency room came into view. “Go, I’ll park and meet you in there.” Bellamy pulled up to the front door and ushered you out. It didn’t take you anymore convincing than that. Whipping open the door, you jumped from the vehicle and rushed inside.

The smell that hit your nose was sterile, it almost burned. Thankfully, there was no one in line at the front desk. The woman behind the counter flinched slightly at the sound of your hands smacking against the counter. “Uh hi, there was an accident and the police officer called me. Raven Reyes was in the car. I was told to come here. I was the only one on the emergency contact. Is she here? Is she awake? The officer wou-.”

“Ma’am, I need you to take a deep breath for me.” The woman’s face behind the counter was softened, as if her calming voice would soothe you. “Now you said Raven Reyes?” Her eyebrow arched waiting for you to respond. The only thing you gave her was curt nod before she started typing away on her computer. “Uh, yes. She was brought in about ten minutes ago. If you want to go sit down, I’ll have the doctor come out and explain everything to you okay?”

Your eyebrows pinched, shaking your head slightly. “You can’t tell me anything? I have to wait?”

The woman sighed. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s not in my jurisdiction to give out patient information.”

Clenching your teeth together, your jaw ticked. Crossing your arms tightly over your chest, you turned and headed into the empty waiting room. You kept glancing back and forth between the front door and hallway that led into the ER wing. The front doors slid open, Bellamy rushing through the doors. His panicked expression eased whenever his eyes landed on you.

Bellamy paused for a second to take a breath before stepping over towards you. He plopped down in the seat beside you, resting his arm along the back of your seat. “Hear anything yet?”

You sighed and shook your head, running your hands under your eyes to dry your cheeks. “No, the woman at check in couldn’t tell me anything. I’m waiting for some doctor to come and tell me something. I don’t know why they can’t just tell me now. I was asked to be here and now I’m just stuck here waiting. This is rid-.”

“Y/N, you’re rambling.” Bellamy’s voice was soft as he hugged you into his side, his hand squeezing your shoulder. He placed a small kiss on the side of your head as tears filled your eyes again. “You need to breathe, Y/N. It’s Raven. She’s gonna be fine.” He murmured and kept his lips lingering against your head.

Pulling back, you looked at him through a blurred haze. “But what if she isn’t, Bell.” Your voice wavered as your fingers clutched onto his arm. “They won’t tell me anything.” The burning sensation in your chest grew. The thought of losing your best friend was unbearable. She was your rock, she couldn’t be gone.

Bellamy opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes shifted back over the top of your head. “I think that’s the doctor.”

Heavy footsteps echoed behind you. Turning around you saw a tall man in the white coat heading towards you. “Ms. Y/L/N?”

Biting your bottom lip, you nodded. “Uh yeah. That’s me.”

He gave you a tight-lipped smile and gripped the clipboard in his hand. “You’re here on behalf of Ms. Reyes, yes?” You nodded. “As I’m sure the officer has told you, there was an accident. A drunk driver ran a red light and smashed into the driver’s side of her car.”

Your eyes squeezed shut as the ache in your chest grew. “Is she okay?”

Dr. Greene sighed and shifted his weight between his feet. “She has lost a substantial amount of blood, the door that collapsed in on her pinched her vertebrae around her spinal cord. We’re unsure of the amount of damage that it’s caused, and we won’t be able to assess fully until she wakes up. But as of right now, we believe that she might possibly be paralyzed from the waist down.”

The doctor paused a moment, obviously trying to give you a moment to process everything she said. But there was no processing this. Paralyzed? She couldn’t use her legs anymore, she’d be devastated. “Can she go see her?” Bellamy spoke up, asking the question you were unable to form.

“She’s in surgery right now. We are trying to recover the damage done to her spine, but she has lost a lot of blood. Her blood type is AB negative, we don’t have a lot it’s a rare type. We’re currently waiting on a shipment in from the hospital across town until we continue.” He looked down at chart on the clipboard, reading over a few things scribbled down.

Your eyes widened, suddenly sitting a lot straighter now. “I have her blood type.” The words left your mouth before you were even aware of it. Bellamy and the doctor both looked at you with surprise. “Can’t I donate some?”

Dr. Greene stared at you for a moment before giving you a slow nod. “Yes… bu-.”

“No buts, I want to do it.” You eagerly nodded, pushing up off the seat to stand. The doctor glanced behind you to look at Bellamy before nodding.

The doctor nodded and slipped the clipboard under his arm. “Okay then, follow me.” He jerked his head back towards the hallway he previously came from.

You glanced behind you to look at Bellamy. His eyes were tense before giving you a reassuring look. Reaching down, you gripped his arm that was previously around his shoulder, tugging him along with you. “C’mon.” You wanted him there with you. You weren’t the biggest fan of needles and you weren’t exactly sure how much they planned on taking out of you.

The two of you walked down the long hallway. The sounds of groans and monitor beeps filled your ears. You hated hospitals. Your fingers squeezed around Bellamy’s as the doctor led you into a small room. “Please, take a seat.”

You glanced behind you to look at Bellamy once more before sitting down in the padded chair. Your arm rested along the table, wrist facing the ceiling. “You alright, princess? You look a little pale.” Bellamy’s hand rubbed across your shoulder, giving you a small squeeze.

“I’m fine. Raven needs me.” You nodded more to yourself than to him. The doctor placed a blue band around the upper part of your arm, making your nose twitch.

Your eyes followed the doctor as he ripped open the plastic container, pulling out the needle and a small tube. “We’re going to test your blood first. It’s just standard procedure and won’t take anymore than two minutes.” His cool fingers pressed against the inner elbow of your arm, searching for a vein. “Alright, small pinch.” You took a deep breath in as the needle was shoved into your arm. The pain quickly subsided as the small tube filled up with your blood. He pinched off the bottom of the small tube to cut off the blood flow. The little vial was handed off to a nurse before he turned back to you. “The nurse will have the results back in a few moments, just sit tight. Thank you for doing this Miss Y/L/N.”

With another small nod and smile, the doctor was out of the door, leaving just you and Bellamy. “You did good.” His reassuring smile was the only thing keeping you calm. The only thing that kept you distracted from the fact that your best friend was paralyzed someone in this damn building. Bellamy grabbed a stool from the back corner of the room and moved it to sit beside you.

No more than three minutes passed before another nurse came back in through the door. “Y/N Y/L/N?” She raised an eyebrow at you before closing the door shut behind her.

“Yes, that’s me.” You gave her a nod. “Can we get this show on the road? My fingers are a little tingly.” Your nose crinkled as you wiggled your fingers, trying to ignore the coolness forming at the tips.

She let out a small laugh and walked closer to you, untying the knot around your upper arm. Once the band was off, Olivia walked back over to the table and picked the folder up from the table that she previously laid down. The expression that came over her face wasn’t as cheery as the one she had coming in the room. “Alright, you were trying to see about donating blood.” She trailed off a little, not really looking up at you. “Well, you do match Miss Reyes’ blood type, and everything is fine except…” Her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes scanned down the paper.

“Except? Except what? What’s the problem?” Your head tilted to the side slightly, shifting straighter in the chair. Bellamy glanced between you and the nurse, a worried expression growing on his face.

She gave you a soft smile. “Honey, pregnant women can’t donate blood.”

If you thought time froze before, you were wrong. Bellamy’s hand dropped from your shoulder, resting it in his lap. Your shoulder’s slumped, letting out a huff as you laid back in the chair. “I… I’m sorry what?”

Olivia’s jaw opened slightly, her eyes widening slightly. “You didn’t know… Oh honey I’m sorry to tell you like this. You’re pregnant.”

The ache in your chest disappeared, everything around you disappeared. Bellamy, the nurse, everything. You were numb as your hands folded in your lap. For a moment you were going to say you felt hollow, empty. But that wasn’t true anymore. There was something inside you, a tiny little baby nestled inside of you.

You were pregnant.


End file.
